I have not written about our incident last Thursday and Friday, yet. On Thursday I wrote my thoughts out and was prepared to add it to the blog when Julie called me to come home again. I would rather wait until tomorrow when I can look at what I wrote, place it on the blog and then write with a little more perspective.

We've been pretty crazed here as we worry about Jake's digestive troubles. He sometimes complains that his tummy hurts and we now question whether these complaints are his way of getting out of eating, or if he really has some discomfort from something blocking up his bowels. At this point we're kind of in a wait and see state of mind, which, when your child has an illness, isn't a comfortable way to be living. You want definite answers.

This past weekend really cleared my head out, though, and I'm through worrying about how many runners we get for the marathon and whether or not my friends are running. At this point, I have to concentrate on my own running and my own fundraising. And even on that front, I'm trying not to stress out about the total amount I raise. Truth is I've already raised over a thousand dollars, which is a lot of money in today's economy.

I put this pressure on myself and it really weighs me down. My head gets cluttered, that's for sure.

Ran yesterday and I was pretty excited to get out there. The weather is really beginning to be cool in the mornings, making the runs a lot nicer.

Aloha

Haven't written for several days. We had some pretty emotional days since Wednesday and I wasn't ready to write about them in detail. I'll have something tomorrow. We took two trips to the emergency room with Jake and it wiped us out.

I did make the long run yesterday morning. 8 miles. I started off pretty ragged, but found my legs by the last two miles. I felt great at the very end and for the first time in about a month, I felt optimistic about the marathon and my running.

So far, we have raised about $1,600. I'm very happy about that, but there is still a long way to go.

That's all for tonight.

Aloha

It has been brought to my attention that, at times, my blog can be quite depressing. I was a little surprised to hear this. I don’t want to come across like our life here in California is one big major drag. Quite the contrary. We have a wonderful life. Our children adore each other and show a great deal of love and compassion toward their family and friends. And Julie and I seem to being closer than ever.

Last week was a tough week. A lot of crap fell in one week. I believe it was the alignment of the stars. How else can you explain how the Indians were one game of first at the beginning of the week and then promptly dropped seven in a row? For those of you who aren’t into baseball, I apologize.

However, I will make an attempt to find something positive to say in most of my entries. I believe that the only way to find your way out of the dark places is to generate some kind of positive thinking.

And here is how the week ended on a good note:

Friday night Budd and I took in the Van Halen concert. Despite my disappointment in some parts of the concert (I mean, we paid $100 a ticket!! I should have been blown out of my seat. I was not), we all had a great time. It was great to just let go for even a couple of hours.

Amazingly enough, I was able to get up the next morning and go run 10 miles in Pasadena. This despite the constant throbbing pain that keeps waking me up every night… gotta love tooth problems. Let this be a lesson to all of you kids who don’t think flossing does anything. By the time you reach 35 and you have to get a couple root canals, a little bit of string between your teeth that takes, like, five minutes to use, isn’t so bad.

The ten miles was pretty easy. I was tired, but I didn’t ache. Glad I went.

That night, Sophie and Jules went to a movie and a tea. Soph came back with the biggest smile on her face. She had so much fun. And Jake and I had a good time hanging out with Vill and Ben. Guys’ night… in. Still very cool.

The rest of the weekend was typical. Yard work. Cleaning. Laundry. But I like this routine. I love our house and I take great pride in it. I don’t whether we’ll ever be able to afford something bigger than this nice home, so I want it to look great all of the time. That said; it’s nearly impossible to keep the house clean more than a day when you have two kids running around. But I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Today I was uninspired to run and barely put in 20 minutes. I know that some of the stresses from last week were hanging on me. But we’ve written California Children’s Services (Julie did a great job with the letter) and once the envelope is in the mailbox, it’s out of our hands. We can only hope and pray.

Aloha

Yesterday was one of the hard days. Financial worries are the most stressful thing in my life. The most discouraging news we received was that we've been turned down for California Children’s Services. Apparently we make too much money. Strange, when I look at our taxes from 2002 and 2003, we made almost half what me made in 2002 in 2003. And yet, we qualified last year. I really don't know how we'll make it when we have to begin paying that 20% for all of Jake's medicines and doctor visits. And I haven't gotten a raise in 3 years. And I can't really quit my job and go look for a new one because I can't afford to lose our benefits. And whose really going to hire a 35-year-old man as an administrative assistant? And it's too late to start my career over, not with a family and our situation.

To make the day more pleasant, my dentist had a field day grinding away at one of my teeth. The fact that I've been grinding my teeth at night is not making my mouth feel any better. I have begun taking Advil like candy. That can't be a good thing.

But we have begun raising some money and that is something positive to come out of this very long week. So far, in the short week since I sent out the letter, we've raise $985. That's awesome. Of course, we have to continue to average about that amount to make the goal of $15K. What was I thinking?

Can I tell you how truly wonderful my wife is? Here I am, grinding my teeth over trying to raise the money, and she's stressing about wanting me to reach that goal, as well. I keep forgetting that I'm not in this alone. I know it's my body and it's my name signed at the bottom of all of those letters, but it really is a family affair. God, I love that woman so much. I lose sight, sometimes, of how fortunate I am to have Julie as my partner in life. When we were younger, and there were fewer distractions, I'm sure I told her that every day. Now, I'm lucky if I remember to tell her once a week.

I'm going to call her right now....

Okay, I just called her. That was worth it. I have to go now. I'm off to the Van Hagar concert.

I know, I know. How does a guy go from Springsteen to Sammy, Eddie, Mike and Alex? I can't explain it. I dig their music. It's pretty mindless and I need mindless.

I have to get up and run 10 miles tomorrow morning, so I can't get too crazy.

Aloha.

After the great feeling Monday morning, I was a bit distressed at how unprepared I was to run this morning. Stress, mostly, was bearing down once again. Worried about the California Children’s Services application. If they deem us too "wealthy" for the service, we're suddenly responsible for that portion of the medicines we haven't been paying for a year. I don't need to tell you how fast our credit card debt will increase and how fast out Savings will be depleted.

At some point it has to get easier, doesn't it? Times like these I wish I could curl up in a ball and squeeze my eyes shut tight to make everything go away. However, I have enough of a grasp on reality to know that this method only works when you are three to five years old or if you are insane.

Still, I was able to squeeze out a decent run this morning, taking on the Decoro hill and pushing myself to run a little faster than usual. In the end, it was worth it.

The day was filled with old friends. I saw Tony and his daughter, Brianna, for about 10 minutes. They were on their way to a casting call for her, which was taking place down the street from where I work. It was cool seeing them, even if it was for just a brief time. Had lunch with my friend Wes, who his running the marathon and raising money for CF, and his partner in crime, Tom Lawless. Always good to see Tom. And on my way home another Wes, my good friend from North Carolina, called to check in. Wes is one of the most talented artists I know and I really respect him.

As I get older, I come to appreciate these small moments with my friends, whether it's a ten-minute walk or a phone conversation with someone I haven't seen in almost a year. Friends... good friends, are hard to come by.

Sophie had a difficult time yesterday morning when Jules dropped her off at Kindergarten. This morning was a little easier. It is gong to be a bigger adjustment than we thought. I know she's going to do so well once she gets comfortable. She's so special.

Aloha

Today was Sophie's first day of kindergarten and she did AWESOME! I can't believe how well she did when Julie dropped her off at the school. While a little nervous at first, she settled right in and even waved goodbye to Julie when her teacher took the class outside and the parents were leaving. I am so proud of her. Still, it's kind of sad, she's growing up so fast. I am constantly amazed at how bright she is, but it tugs on my heart. Julie is sad, too. Sophie is now going to be in school every day for the next 13 years. That "freedom" of a certain age of childhood is slipping away from us. Still, you can’t beat hearing the tremendous level of joy and excitement that she had when she called me before and after school.

I ran for about 45 minutes this morning and I felt great. The first good Monday run I've had in a long time. Must have something to do with settling in to the Pasadena runs on Saturdays. The rest of the day, for me, was average. I find myself watching the mailbox, hoping for people to make donations. Because I've set the bar high this year, I'm really nervous about reaching that goal. What if last year was a fluke? What if I don't even make half of what I made last year? Is the fundraising a failure? It's causing my stomach to do more laps than the Olympic swimmers.

Speaking of the Summer Games, there are these ads, they run them every 2 years, that show the roles parents play in the raising of a child athlete. One in particular this year has really affected me. It’s about how parents support the dreams of their children and begins with "I will be your breath" or something like that. It continues with "I will be your strength and support" etc. I can't help but think of Jake and this marathon. I running my body into the ground this year and I would do more if I could if it would help find a cure. I would give my lungs for that boy.

Not sure how I'm gong to make it through these next few months. Every time my body wants to quit on me, whether it's my back tightening up during stressful moments, or my knee clicking a hundred times or more throughout the course of the day, I just keep thinking about Jake and the hard road that may lie ahead of him.

I'll see a doctor in January about my knee. Because if a doctor were to tell me to stop running on it, that advice wouldn't be any good until January anyway. I'm running this marathon.

Aloha

I didn't know what to expect this morning when I arrived at the group run down by the Rose Bowl. I was pleasantly surprised to see my old training partner, Sebastian, on hand to train for a half marathon. We ran two miles together until he turned back. I ran on. I wanted to get in 8 miles. Up ahead of me for the first 4 miles was a man named Peter Lyons, who is from Valencia and is also running for CF. When he turned around at mile 4, I was about 100 yards behind him and so I ran the last 4 miles back with him. Although I had to switch from a 5/1 to a 3/1 for the run back, it was worth it. It's always better to run with someone. It makes the time go by faster and you get to know someone you might not otherwise meet in your daily life.

Peter's nephew has CF, so the cause is close to his heart. We had a nice conversation all the way back and I hope to see him again in the upcoming weeks. I'm going to send him my letter this coming week to help him get started with his fundraising. Luckily, he works for Starbucks, so he should be able to get some corporate money out of them.

Now, if we could just get some more runners.

Aloha

And finally, I wanted to post the letter I sent out, just so it's there to read....

August 10, 2004

“Run, Daddy, run!”

That’s what my son, Jacob shouts to me when we’re chasing his older sister, Sophie down the street. While Sophie pedals away on her two-wheeler, Jacob’s little arms pump and his legs gallop in red, scuffed up hand-me-down cowboy boots. It’s at times like these that I’m filled with hope that his little body will continue to be strong and that his lungs will remain healthy.

It’s been a year since I first wrote most of you about my marathon fundraiser. Last year, I trained for the Honolulu marathon and raised over $11,000 to help combat Cystic Fibrosis, the deadly illness that afflicts 33,000 children and adults in the United States alone; the deadly disease that inhabits my precious son’s body.

Cystic Fibrosis (CF) causes the body to produce abnormally thick, sticky mucus often creating potentially life threatening lung infections, as well as a host of other problems throughout the body. Jacob also has a great deal of trouble with his digestive track due to CF. Because the thick mucus blocks his pancreas; he takes digestive enzymes every time he eats in order to absorb the nutrients from his food. On an average day Jacob takes oral medication 10 times as well as having nebulizer breathing treatments 3 times daily to help keep his lungs healthy. During those treatments he wears a special vibrating vest that helps break up the thick mucus that clogs his lungs.

Cystic fibrosis is a progressive disease so we must do all these things to keep Jacob healthy. Although the gene for Cystic Fibrosis was discovered in the early 90’s and much progress has been made since then, currently there is no cure for the disease. One half of the individuals with CF live into their 30’s; however, the other half does not.

These are the dreaded statistics we live with as a family. Of course, you can’t dwell on the facts or you’d never be able to function. But the details about CF are always there, hovering like a black cloud. Most days, I fear that Julie bears the brunt of the responsibility for Jacob’s illness. She is home with him while I go to work and she administers most of his medications and does the majority of his breathing treatments. I don’t know how she keeps it together. If it was me, I would be in tears most of the time. As it is, whenever I drift to that place in which the specter of CF grips me, I walk around in a haze, struggling to stay strong.

I would trade all of the good fortunes in my life to find a cure for my son. I would use every ounce of my energy to help rid the world of CF. But I am not a doctor or a scientist. So I must do what I can… what is within my capabilities… to raise awareness and money in the battle. So, I have decided to undertake another marathon. On December 5 of this year, I will use every ounce of my energy to help find a cure and raise money by participating in the Orange County Marathon, here is sunny Southern California. But I need your help.

As I said, last year I raised a lot of money, and this year I have raised the bar. I’ve set a goal of $15,000. It’s a large goal, but it’s one I believe can be reached. Like last year, it’s my hope that anyone receiving this letter can make a donation of $50.00 or more. Those of you who donated last year, I’m asking you, can you spare ten or twenty dollars more? Or perhaps you have family or friends who would be interested in helping that crazy father in California who insists on punishing his body for a good cause. Of course, any donation I receive will be appreciated from the bottom of my heart. I pledge to all of you that I will dedicate the next five months of my life to making you all proud. And when I reach that finish line and find my children cheering for me, I’ll lift them in my arms and carry them with me.

Please make checks out to: The Cystic Fibrosis Foundation and mail them to me at:

Scott Malchus
22331 Los Tigres Dr.
Saugus, CA 91350

Or, you can go online and donate at this web address: http://active.com/donate/cffca/teammalchus

I need any donations by the end of November. Your cancelled check will serve as your receipt.

Last year’s marathon was a bit overwhelming. Besides being one of 6 people running for CF, it was incredible to be swept up in the mass of 20,000 people. The Orange County Marathon will be smaller and with the CF Foundation on all of the literature and t-shirts, I believe this race may be a bigger challenge. Each step I take won’t be for me, but for Jacob… for his life and future. He is such a sweet loving boy and we are blessed that he has been healthy his two years of life. He deserves to have a life like you and I. A life without the fear of hospitalization or worse. A life without Cystic Fibrosis.

As I train and eventually run the marathon, I know I’ll have to dig deep to find the energy to complete the grueling task. The energy will be there, though. It will come from the sound of my darling Julie and precious Sophie cheering me on. And it will come from the spirited voice of my beloved Jacob, shouting to me, “Run Daddy, run!”

*********

It's turned out to be an excellent day. I ran this morning for about 40 minutes (after lathering Ben-gay like gel all over my back) and I felt pretty good. I held an ice pack on my back for the drive into work and there hasn't been too much discomfort all day. Had a good meeting with one of the producers of my next project and got some good feedback.

Most important, though, is that I have sent out about 100 letters. I am surprised at how much of a weight has lifted off of my chest. I have just returned from dropping the envelopes in a mailbox and, man, I feel good.

So, like I said, it's turned out to be a real nice day.

I am looking forward to getting up at 5:30 tomorrow and driving to Pasadena for my first long run with the group.

Aloha


Wait a minute. Did I say 5:30?

You all know my Springsteen obsession. This song just came on and, well, it's just about one of the most beautiful songs I know. It was written during his turbulent "Tunnel of Love" days, so it may be more about his first marriage. However, it spoke to me as a parent and I hope to play it for Sophie and Jacob someday when they go off to college. Enjoy.

Aloha

WHEN YOU NEED ME
by Bruce Springsteen (found on the box set "Tracks")

When you need me call my name
'Cause without you my life just wouldn't be the same
If you want me come sunny skies or rain
When you need me just call my name

If you miss me, I'll be there
To brush the sunlight from your hair
I'll be there to guide you when trouble walks beside you
If you need me I'll be there
And when this dirty world has been cold to you
I got two strong arms waitin' to hold you
And when those mean days come along
We'll stand together and we'll take 'em on
So if you need me just call my name

When you need me call my name
'Cause without you my life just isn't the same
'Cause when this world kicked me around
You picked me up off the ground
So if you need me I'll be there

So, upon Julie's request, I have begun emptying out our email box. In doing so, I came across this poem Jan sent me last year. I'm not sure if I posted it back then, but here it is (again?). Enjoy

A Little Tooth
by Thomas Lux

Your baby grows a tooth, then two,
and four, and five, then she wants some meat
directly from the bone. It's all

over: she'll learn some words, she'll fall
in love with cretins, dolts, a sweet
talker on his way to jail. And you,

your wife, get old, flyblown, and rue
nothing. You did, you loved, your feet
are sore. It's dusk. Your daughter's tall.


From New and Selected Poems, 1975-1995, published by Houghton Mifflin, 1997. Copyright © 1990 by Thomas Lux. All rights reserved. Used with permission.

Feeling better this morning.

Jan Denman sent me a link to a neat Olympic site that details the "origin" of the marathon race. I thought I'd share it with you:

"The marathon was never one of the ancient Olympic events, although its origin dates back to another episode in ancient Greek history.

In the 5th century B.C., the Persians invaded Greece, landing at Marathon, a small town about 26 miles from the city of Athens. The Athenian army was seriously outnumbered by the Persian army, so the Athenians sent messengers to cities all over Greece asking for help.

The traditional origin of the marathon comes from the story how a herald named Phidippides ran the 26 miles from Marathon to Athens to announce the Greek victory and died on the spot. Phidippides was sent by the Athenians to Sparta to ask for help; a man named Eukles announced the victory to the Athenians and then died. Later sources confused the story of Phidippides, also called "Philippides," with that of Eukles. Although most ancient authors do not support this legend, the story has persisted and is the basis for the modern-day marathon.

The modern Olympic marathon is approximately 26 miles and usually takes over 2 hours for athletes to finish."

2 HOURS???? Bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!

Aloha

I am an incredible crank right now. I had a tooth drilled out and a temporary crown put on this afternoon. Man, it seemed to take an eternity (which, of course, is impossible). Still, after three Novocain shots and an hour and a half in the chair, I can't feel my tongue and my face feels like a balloom. No, balloon.

It's been a miserable week as far as training goes. My nagging back has kept me limping and after I ran yesterday morning I seriously doubted whether I should do this marathon. Of course, that's not an option. After this marathon, though, I believe I will settle down and run 1/2 marathons. My body just can't take it and it's so damn discouraging.

Not that I want to be 20 again, but to have that body for just six months would be nice. Then again, if I were 20 again, I wouldn't abuse my body like I did. Hindsight is 20/20, right?

Posted a picture of Jake on the donation page. It's temporary until I get a picture of Sophie and Jake to put in its place. I want her face with his. She's in this with him... with us. I was glad to hear Julie express the same thing. The last thing I would ever want is for Soph to feel like all of the attention is on her brother. I would never do that.

Speaking of Miss Sophie, she admitted last night that she was nervous about kindergarten starting next week. I am really proud of her opening up and telling us how she feels. And it really helped her. This morning, she told Jules and me (at separate times) that she felt better now that she had talked about it. I don't want to jinx the future, but could this be a sign of things to come? I hope she always feels like she can tell us anything.

I have confirmed that my friend, Wes Stevens, will be running the marathon. I'm so excited that he's going to help us out. He wants to raise a lot of money. Let's hope that his friends will contribute to CF like they did to the AIDS cause last year.

Finally, I want to give a shout out to Ross Dinerstein and Sara Goldberg, the first two people to respond to my email letter. Ross went to the donation page and Sara gave me a check this morning. Thanks guys.

Only 14,900 dollars to go!

Have to go now and find my personality. Would hate to get home and be this way around the family.

Aloha

The donation page is up and running. I'm pretty excited to see how it will work. There is a link on the blog, so... anyone reading this should test it out!

I'll try to work on the web page in my spare time.

Ran for about 20 minutes yesterday morning. I was still recovering from my very long weekend in which I spent Thursday and Friday nights (and early mornings) remixing "King's Highway." It's really going to be awesome once the remix of the entire movie is complete. Of course, I'll put up some kind of link when a trailer is online again.

I didn't run on Saturday, choosing instead to sleep in. Wise choice on my part. But I did not fully recover until sometime yesterday afternoon. I look forward to running tomorrow morning.

Sophie has kindergarten orientation yesterday morning and I took Jake to his gymnastics class. I don't know how much he really learns in this "class", but he enjoys jumping on the trampoline and playing with the parachute. Poor Soph came home from the orientation and was suddenly very ill. She couldn't keep anything down all day, not even water.

I'm glad to report that she's doing fine today.

Now that the online donation page working, I plan to send out a mass email, and finally get the letter out. That should all take place in the nest couple of days. Hopefully some folks will forward the email to family and friends and the donations will begin to come in.

Aloha

Sorry I haven't written in a couple of days. It's been a loooong week dealing with King's Highway and editing a reel for Tony. I don't think I'll be able to go to marathon training tomorrow. I really need to get some good sleep, especially since I'll be putting in another late night tonight.

The plus side to this is that we'll be done remixing the movie. It's doubtful I will get to sleep in tomorrow, knowing my children, but that's okay. At least I have the weekend to recover from the past three days and start fresh on Monday.

Besides, my left foot has really been bothering me today. I'm having problems walking on it.

That's all for now. Look for fresh entries next week.

Aloha

It’s the Tuesday after the half marathon on Sunday.

What a great excursion up to the bay area this weekend. It was just a wonderful getaway. Chilly, but a nice change of pace.

We arrived in San Francisco in the afternoon on Thursday. The kids great in the drive up the 5. The portable DVD player has proven to be a worthwhile investment. The hotel we stayed at in the city was a Holiday Inn on Van Ness and California. Turns out it was at the end of the line for a trolley car, so we easily hopped on one of the trolley cars whenever we wanted.

Thursday night we rode down into the city and had dinner at Mel's Diner. We wound up turning in pretty early. That drive can take its toll. We were all bundled up in sweatshirts and pants. Since we've been experiencing one hundred plus degree weather in Santa Clarita, it was refreshing to feel a cool breeze. It really reminded me of Cleveland in late September, in which you wear a sweater in the shade, but have to take it off in the sun because you get too warm.

Friday was spent down at the pier. The marathon expo was there in front of the Ferry building. We all ventured down to check out the free handouts and to get my running number. After that, we got a ride on one of those bicycle rickshaws. The poor man pedaling for us (Australian, I think) earned his money. It was a little expensive, but better than waiting for a trolley and having to be abused by a homeless woman shouting obscenities at Sophie. Poor Soph didn't know what to think when this lady started going off.

They have a merry-go-round, so the kids and I took a turn on it. Jules and I were able to enjoy a bowl of chowder in a sourdough bowl, while Sophie ate cotton candy and ice cream for lunch and Jake stuck to soft pretzels. Hey, come on, we were on vacation. Sophie is a good eater, and we're just happy Jake will eat anything these days. Man, I've never met a more finicky eater, myself included.

After lunch we went to the Aquarium by the Bay. That was really neat. After a couple of tanks, there is a whole exhibit that is below the bay and you get to walk underneath schools of fish and exotic creatures that live in the bay. Sophie remembered the Leopard Shark. Once we left the Aquarium, me made our way back to the hotel. Sophie loved the trolley cars and desperately wanted to ride on an outside bench. S Since we thought this may be our last opportunity to ride the cars, we were happy to get a seat on the outside for the duration of the ride back to the hotel. She had this huge smile on her face the whole ride back and those big blue eyes were so wide-eyed as she took in the sights. Meanwhile, Jake kept us in stitches with his knock knock jokes and his infectious laugh. We ate in at the hotel, ordering too much food that we hardly touched.

Saturday we went to the Bay Discovery Museum, which is geared toward kids Soph and Jake's age. I think they really enjoyed the place. Lots of tactile things to do. There were a couple of neat climbing areas. Sophie loved the arts and crafts part, too. In fact, she said that was her favorite part of the day (and the trip).

That night we drove to see some relatives of Julie's (Bob and Linda Banfiel) for dinner. I thought it was really nice of them to have us over for dinner. They had just returned from a trip and their house is in a bit of disarray due to remodeling, but it was comforting to be around family.

That leaves us with the race. I had a great time running this half marathon. The weather was perfect for running. Mid-60's and drizzling. I woke up, anxious, at 5:45 am. This would have been great if I had to run soon thereafter, however my portion of the race did not begin until 8:45. So, I had to kill 3 hours. Never the less, this allowed me plenty of time to grab a taxi to the buses that would take me to my starting point.

I did not find the "up" hills all that terrible. They were more of a gradual incline followed by some leveling out. The down hills.... that's another story. There were a couple of steep drops that I thought were going to take my knees out. In fact, my left knee (not the one I've been using a brace with) started to ache terribly a couple of times during the run. Nut I thought this was a much more relaxed race than the Honolulu marathon. I was able to take in a lot of the sights and appreciate San Francisco. I fell in with a group that was running a 2:15 pace and a 7/1 run walk. So I stuck with that 7/1 run walk even after that group left me behind. I didn't bring my water bottle, choosing to drink water at each water stop (and walking through those stops as well). This worked out great. At no point did I ever feel dehydrated. By the very end, as I was passing the beautiful baseball park there along the pier, I started to get very hungry. That, and my legs (not my feet) aching were the two big things I took from this race and will address for the marathon.

The course I ran took me through the park by the SF zoo, into Haight-Ashbury and into some of the industrial areas. I would love to someday try the whole run. But it was an expensive trip, so I don't know when that might be.

It was such a great trip. And to come to the end of the race and see Julie, Sophie and Jacob cheering for me, that made everything worth it.

Aloha

Ran 7 miles this morning and felt strong at the end of the run.  Ran the whole thing at a 6/1 pace until the last mile in which I didn't stop to walk.  I'm thrilled.  I haven't felt this strong in a long time.  Not sure if it's the new shoes or the insoles, but I feel very confident about Sunday's race.  Even the thought of running 3 miles uphill doesn't seem that bad.  I must be losing my mind.

After a long drive to work (although I did rediscover Jeff Buckley's beautiful rendition of Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah".  I can't begin to describe how incredible I think Buckley's interpretation is.  It's just him and his guitar.  It begins in an ominous minor key then subtly changes into the major key and 6/8 time.  You MUST check it out- and the rest of his album "Grace".  Tragically, Buckley drowned several years ago ad never completed another album.  But that's another story).

Where was I?  Oh yes.  Got to work and called Rebecca at the Cf Foundation and was shocked to learn that we're NOT involved with the Malibu Marathon anymore.  However, we will be training for the Orange County 

Good news, the letter is typed.  I hope to send it out early next week after we return from San Francisco.  I am now digging in and researching the Pay Pal method of receiving donations.  My goal is to have all of that information ready to present to Rebecca at the Cf Foundation by the end of next week.
 
It's been a helacious week at work, but I feel great.  I mean it. I woke up this morning more worn out from staying up late trying to catch a rebroadcast of former President Clinton's speech at the Democratic Convention than from my early morning run.
 
I look forward to my jog tomorrow morning.  Can't believe we're getting out of town in two days.  I'm really excited.  I'll have to keep a written journal for a few days on the road.
 
Aloha.
 
PS  I'm experimenting with all of the neat tools the blog site now has to offer. 

I can't believe it has been so long. However, the past couple of weeks have been very hectic both professionally and personally.

There are two important things I must update: I have written my first letter for the fundraising campaign, and this coming weekend I will be running the San Francisco Half Marathon.

Completing that letter was a big deal for me. I felt like it was hovering over me every time I sat down to write something else. In fact, the weekend I wrote it I had to begin a rewrite on one of my scripts (for some producers who optioned it... long story), but I felt I HAD to get the letter done. It just so happens that the day provided me with enough inspiration to put down into words what I have been feeling for the past couple of months. The whole process was very cathartic and I only need to type it up and mail it out. Easier said than done. However, that's my goal for this week.

My motivation that day was hearing about a girl I mentioned last year, Jessica Strisower, whom we met at a CF function I gave a speech at last year. This past winter, her condition was grave due to a deadly bacterium called B. cepacia. She caught the bacteria and it deteriorated her lungs so badly that she needed a lung transplant. Two live donors saved her life and now she has a bright future again.

The news that rattled me, though, was her doctors telling Jessica's mother that the lung transplant is only good for 5-10 years, and then she may die. The girl is in her early teens. She hasn't lived a full life! And of course, I grappled with the thought of Jacob ever having to face this news; how we as a family would face this news.

You can see where I was able to draw inspiration from this story. Finding a cure is more important now than it ever was. It is the ONLY way that people afflicted with CF will be given the same opportunities to live out their life like the rest of us.

And I don't buy into that crap like "well, you could walk into the street and be hit by a bus tomorrow". Yes, that type of tragedy could happen, but the odds aren't already against you in that situation.

I'm not trying to be a pessimist. Hardly. I'm just trying to drive home the pint to any of you out there trudging through my ramblings that this is serious business....


And then there was the half marathon.

We're leaving town on Thursday to go to SF in order for me to run the SF Half Marathon. I have to say that, physically, I feel great. I ran 8 miles on Saturday (after 12 last weekend) and my body has recovered splendidly. True, my damn knee continues to snap every time I walk, but I don't notice it when I'm in the middle of a run. I am really looking forward to the race. More importantly, I am thrilled that we're getting out of town for an extended weekend. Once Sophie begins Kindergarten (!!) in less than a month, the opportunities to skip town for a couple of extr4a days will be slim.

That's all for now. It feels good to be back at the blog. With my formal marathon training beginning a week from Saturday, I feel like I've done enough blog training to jump right back into the daily bore...er... entries like I did last year.

Aloha.

Had a horrible run this morning. This thing with my left shin area is starting to irritate. Of course, it could be that I have to get off my lazy rear and finally go buy new shoes. This weekend. Yes, this weekend, when I plan to paint Sophie's room and possibly do the 135 other house things that need to get done.

The run this morning was slooooow. And when that happens, I begin dwelling on all of the things stressing me out. I also started thinking about my next letter. I have some of my thoughts scattered on pages, but nothing organized yet. But I want to get it out within the next two weeks. When I met with Rebecca on Tuesday and I looked down at the fundraising goals they want all of the runners to reach, I sudden;y got anxious. Can I raise the kind of money I did last year? Should it matter? I mean, the goal is just to raise money and awareness, right?

That's not true. Not for me. If my goal was just to raise money and awareness, I'd just run the half marathon. No, the goal is to raise as much as I did last year. The goal is to try and get people to understand how incredibly horrible CF is.

It was ironic that I found the About A Boy Soundtrack on a friend's iTunes list. There's a track on that record that rips my heart out whenever I hear it. For some reason, it was the song I latched on to when Jake was first in the hospital. It was the track I'd listen before I went in to Children's and when I left. I would be brought to tears, crying my eyes out as I tried to navigate Sunset Blvd.

It still chokes me up.

I don't want to lose my son.

Ran this morning and it felt very good. By the end I was feeling like I did before we left for Ohio. I have found my stride again. Met with Rebecca last night to discuss ways to try and get some more runners for the Malibu race. She wants to have a team of 10 running and raising money. I'd like to get that up to 15. But that's me, trying to push it.

Work was very stressful today and the combination of running this morning, staying up late to watch a John Landis directed documentary, and putting in a good 8 hours has whipped me. I just have to wash the nebulizers and boil them. Oh, and I have to avoid watching "The Age of Innocence" and getting sucked in. I love that movie. Scorsese rules.

What a ridiculous thing for a grown man to say. He "rules". Right on, dude!

Oh, and I have to pass along that Jake is fast becoming a pro on the potty. He now uses his little kitty potty most of the time (while sitting in the living room watching Scooby Doo, no less). He wears underwear most of the time. Someday he will read this and say, "Dad, why did you have to write that?" And of course, I'll say, "Because you RULE, dude."

Sad. I am very, very sad.

Aloha

The weekend was great, but hotter than hell, top say the least. I ran 10 miles on Saturday morning and I swear it was almost as hard as some of our longer runs last fall. Not that I'm in that type of shape again, but the last couple miles were tough. Nothing compared to my awesome run last week.

I blame the heat. By mile 6 I was feeling it in my legs. And my feet were starting to get hot. I am not sure how to remedy this problem. And it concerns me because there's no way to control how hot the pavement is going to be come race time.

I corresponded with my old friend Beth (from the Honolulu race). She ran the San Fran half marathon last year and says it was very hilly. Did I mention this already? If so, disregard the info. That's what you get for not writing every day. You lose track of you facts and so called insights.

I'm not too concerned about the hills. The pace I ran on Saturday was anything but top form. But Jules brought up a good point.... it's going to August and it will be hot. This may determine whether I run the first half or the second half of the marathon. Maybe the 1st would be better. At least I could avoid some of the heat, and we could get on the road sooner to get home.

Isn't that ridiculous. I'm training to run 13 miles and I'm more concerned at this point about when we get on the road to avoid traffic than I am about my performance.

The heat really wore me out the rest of Saturday. I mean, I was whipped. We went to the Santa Clarita Aquatic center and the kids played in this wonderful wading pool/ slide area. It was the perfect way to spend an afternoon out of the heat.

We received great news today that Jake's throat culture for pseudomonas came back negative. This is wonderful. Of course, now we're worried because he's taking swimming lessons and pools are a breeding ground for the bacteria. Have to very careful.

Tomorrow I have a meeting with Rebecca about the marathon. Not sure what we'll talk about. I hope we can come up with new ways to promote the donation process. My good friend Wes Stevens feels we should find a way to mimic what Aids Project LA does in which you can go to their website and donate immediately (upon receiving an email). Participants can also monitor their totals as their donations come in.

I believe this is a great idea. We just have to work out the logistics.

I ran this morning. Even though I was not into it, by the end of the 30 minutes I was glad I got out of bed to do the run. I will definitely ride the bike and do some yoga on the Fridays before my big runs. I definitely feel that not doing this cross training last week affected my performance on Saturday.

That's enough for now.


Aloha.

I have to say, some of my better ideas come to me late. Better late than never, though. I went out and purchase a knee support last night for my troublesome right knee. On my run this morning I couldn't really concentrate on what I was supposed to be accomplishing. I believe you could call it a junk run. I was so concerned about whether the knee support would do any good that I was distracted.

By the end of the day, I was full of energy, looking forward to tomorrow's run and I'm glad to report that the knee feels good. That is the most positive thing to happen in my training in the past month.

I must admit, I am a little nervous that my body will not permit me to complete the marathon this year. I am full of fears about the future of my legs. I hear of so many people having to have surgery on their knees, even having them replaced. I know from Julie's mom's experience that knee replacement is VERY painful. And the thought of not being able to run and use the marathon as a fund raising method really got me depressed yesterday.

I look at Julie an all that she does for Jacob during the day. She gives him all of his treatments and takes him to all of his doctor appointments. True, I have to work. But at least with the marathon I feel as if I am contributing to the battle. I know there will be other fund raising activities. But this one... the challenge of running 26 miles... and using that to inspire people to contribute... that is thrilling to me. And it makes me feel like I'm out there making a difference.

Perhaps this is too egocentric of me. But when I feel the aches and pains from along run I feel as if I can go on and face another day without breaking down and crying over Jake's CF. Believe me, there are so many days when I'm driving to work and I get that pain in my sinuses.... and I can feel the tears welling up. But I can control that when I think... I'm doing something.
I'm putting myself through this ordeal and I'm making a difference. We can win this battle... if only my legs hold up.

I need to run. I need the marathon. It gives me something to strive for. And it gives me hope. Hope in my friends and family. Hope in my fellow man. And hope that we're going to beat this disease.


Aloha.

It's Monday. The past weekend was great. On Saturday I ran 9 miles and felt very strong. By the end I was able to increase to a 6/1 running ration. There's nothing better to get you running faster than having to get home so your wife can leave for a facial. Still, I felt great after the run.

The rest of the day was spent doing yard work. Nothing exciting.

Yesterday was Father's Day. It was a wonderful day. Julie let me act like a lounge lizard most of the morning and treated us to an awesome pancake breakfast, with some eggs and bacon on the side. Whew. I stuffed my face.

We went to Budd and Karyn's for dinner and spent some time in the pool. That really did my aching legs some good.

This morning I got up and ran for 40 minutes. My legs were tired, as usual on a Monday. I'm starting to get a little concerned about my right knee, the one I had operated on 20 years ago. There's some definite clicking going on. Clicking is bad. Real bad. I don't think there's any question that this will probably be my last marathon. I guess two should be enough in a lifetime.

This was a big day for the kids. Sophie began gymnastics and Swimming classes. I'm was a little concerned how she would do. We tried her in dance classes and swimming lessons in years past. But today, Soph did great. She's really starting to grow up. I'm always sad when I think about how fast she's growing up and how little time we seem to get to play together. I would hate to look back on her childhood with regret. I probably will anyway. The only thing that would make me a complete parent, in my mind, would be for me to get to stay home all of the time. Of course, we know that's not going to happen any time soon.

Jake had a CF appointment today and guess what: He's gained weight! And he grew 4 cm. He's actually in the 5th percentile now! That's really exciting. All of the medicines seem to be working. That news made my day.

It's been a gloomy June Monday for the most part, so that positive news about Jake is about all I needed to get me through the rest of the day.

Work has been busy, for a change. Finding time to write is going to be challenging. Alas, once I send my next letter out I will have to keep it up. I look forward to that challenge.

That's all for now..

Aloha.

I feel like I finally have my head back together after returning from our Cleveland vacation. Although I ran a couple of times in Ohio (including an 8 mile run the day after we arrived!), I slacked off by Wednesday and wound up consuming mass quantities of beer and meat. My God, it seems like every meal has some kind of meat portion included when you sit down back there. Not that I’m complaining, but it starts to feel like the Python Spam sketch after awhile.

Our trip was excellent. I feel like each time we take a family vacation, it keeps getting better. We arrived on a Saturday without a hitch and quickly settled in to the Ohio vacation routine. Jacob was SO excited to see his cousin JF, he would run around the house calling out his name, “Gey-Eff!!” And JF was so patient with Jake. It was wonderful seeing them play together. Sophie LOVES being with her grandparents in Ohio and playing with JF and his sister, Gretchen. And all of the kids got along so well.

Highlights of the trip included a day at the movies seeing “Shrek 2” again and immediately heading on over to Chuck E. Cheese’s for pizza and video games. Beth and Zyg came up on Thursday and had dinner. I felt like that was a good night. It’s strange how Beth has settled into becoming a part of the extended Flynn family. All of the kids go off and play and because she knows everyone so well (I guess it has been 11 years), she just eases into hanging out with everyone.

I really admire Beth. She’s become very political and standing up for her beliefs. She and I think along the same lines of the political spectrum, although she may be a tad bit more liberal than I am. Good for her, though. We grew up in a semi-conservative family in which I was never really sure what my parents stood for. All four of us Malchus kids had to figure that stuff out on our own.

Speaking of politics, on that same day I had breakfast with Jan Denman, my high school senior English teacher, and an old friend. I haven’t seen Jan in a couple of years, though we have dropped each other emails throughout those past two years. It’s always a pleasure to just hang out with Jan. He had a profound influence on my life and to call this man my friend is seriously an honor. Jan taught me quite a bit about thinking for myself and about writing from the heart and not always worrying about the mechanics. In a lifetime, you probably can only call a few people mentors. To me, Jan will always be one of my mentors. I gave him a copy of “King’s Highway”. I hope it plays on his DVD player; otherwise he’ll have to wait for the release later this year.

Got to see Bob on several occasions. We hung out on his sister’s boat one night, and then he had a party that last Friday we were in town. Brian and Dan were both at the party. Dan and his wife, Jodi, also brought their precious daughter with them. I was pretty excited about seeing Brian. I haven’t spoken to him in some time. I was amazed when he brought up the blog and how often he read it.

It’s a tad intimidating hearing feedback about the blog. I tend to get self-conscious when I think about folks reading this thing. Still, I supposed to be a writer. I want people to read it. Duh!

Also at the party was a guy who co-starred in my senior film at Bowling Green. His name is Todd Meany and he’s a reporter for one of the networks in Cleveland. That was both exciting and a bit surreal. I haven’t spoken to this guy since the last month I attended BG. Isn’t it a trip when you get reacquainted with someone like that from your past? I believe I’ve detailed such encounters from last year in this very blog. Todd is very successful, and I was, I don’t know, somewhat envious of him and the success he has had. I have a difficult time promoting myself lately. I feel like I’ve been talking about “King’s Highway” for years… oh, wait, it has been years. I feel like people are hearing the same damn stories about the movie. So when I start to tell someone new about everything, my enthusiasm is a little bit lacking.

Have to work on that.

Saw Aunt Dorty and Uncle Ben and received a new Indian’s cap from them. It’s pretty stylin’ with the retro “C” from the 70’s teams (you know, when they were really dreadful). I think this is such an abbreviated rundown of our trip; it must not sound all that exciting.

I will say this: I really felt at peace on this particular vacation. I wasn’t restless to be somewhere and I felt like I had a lot of patience with the kids. That has not always been the case. In trips of past, I was a bit selfish about wanting time to myself and trying to push the kids off on their grandparents and cousins. I know, what a lousy father.

But it’s like I’m seeing them grow up so fast now. And as quickly as they are maturing, I am realizing that my time with them is running out. Soon, they’re not going to want anything to do with their cranky old man who will be barely able to walk. That breaks my heart. It’s bittersweet watching your children get older. You’re excited about them growing as human beings, but they leave behind those precious bits of childhood that are so special. The day that Jacob finally stops calling Sophie “Wo-wo” and calls her “Sophie” will be very sad (and I fear that day is close).

After returning home, I’ve returned to my running schedule. I’ve decided to move up to a 5/1 running pace. We’ll see how it goes.

That’s all for now.

Aloha.

It's the night before Sophie's Pre-School graduation. I can't believe there is even a ceremony for pre-school graduation, but we're very excited and so proud of her. She's growing up much too fast.

After that, we begin packing for our trip back to Ohio. I'm really looking forward to getting out of here for a week. It will be nice to hang out with Julie's family.

I have been running off the schedule I made up and following it very closely. I ran on Monday and yesterday. I chose to skip today and run tomorrow, instead, because I will be doing my long run on Sunday in Ohio. I've done Yoga on my off days and that has really been helpful.

Still, I am having some problems with my right knee. A couple of weeks ago I tweaked it after a long run. Now, it hurts to sit on my heels and have it bend in that degree. Of course, being a hypochondriac, I am scared that I have messed up something from the surgery I had on that knee....20 years ago! No wonder Julie thinks I'm a nut.

While I'm in Ohio I plan to start putting together the letter I'm going to send out this year. I have a pretty hefty task in front of me in trying to raise 13 grand. Maybe that number is too steep. I'm not sure right now. The economy is so unstable right now. I mean, who has any money to spare these days. I know that we don't.

God, I worry so much about money lately. Somehow we manage to get by and live comfortably. But for how much longer? It scares the shit out of me to think of not having enough money to cover our bills. Maybe "King's Highway" will become a huge seller once we complete the sound remixing.

Oh yeah, we found a distributor for the movie and we're in the process of remixing most of the post production sound for delivery purposes. I'm pretty excited about it. We all are.

On a sad note, our good friend Vill is back in Toledo. His father is seriously ill and they're unsure how much longer he may have to live. We he first found out about his father's condition, Vill was reasonably upset. I'm not sure how close the two of them are, but I know it must be hard. Our prayer are with him and his family.

I run tomorrow.


Aloha

A more detailed entry will follow, but I had to write this down asap. Julie just called to tell me that Sophie was in the backyard standing by the kiddie rollercoaster we have there. And she was calling out like a carnival barker, "Step right up. One penny. We're raising money for anyone who has a child with Cystic Fibrosis. Step right up."

I think I'm going to cry.

Like I said, it's going to take some time to get back into the routine of writing. Let's consider this first week a warm up.

Yesterday was Julie's birthday and I spent the evening out to dinner with Beth who is in town for a convention. Hopefully Jules and I will get away for a little bit this weekend to have dinner together.

I ran hard yesterday, the first time I've really pushed myself in training this go around. Man did I feel it in my lower back this morning. Then again, it could be some other stress that I'm surprising. I'm no doctor.

I've been working on a 4/1 run walk ration, for any of you who are keeping track. I'm going to stick with that this year. I believe that switching my pattern of running effected my performance in the Honolulu race.

Sophie had her Kindergarten assessment this morning. She did great. I can't believe she's going to in kindergarten. Wasn't she just a little baby? Seems like eons ago. And Jake is growing up fast. The little nut can say his name, now (though he generally shouts it. "JACOOOB!!" His health has been good these past few months.

However, a throat culture earlier this year found psedomonas, a NASTY bacteria and he has been on a new medicine called Tobramycin (Tobi). He should run the course of his dosage while we're in Ohio in a couple of weeks. I pray that the Tobi has cleared his throat up. As it stands now, he is on 4 different breathing medicines that take 5 breathing treatments each day, in addition to his regular orals. He had a GI checkup on Monday and he gained 3 pounds! That's pretty exciting. For those of you who have children, 3 pounds may sound like nothing. For us, that's awesome.

Okay, I'm struggling to keep up here. I really feel like I'm just throwing things at the screen, hoping they'll stick. That's all for now. I'll do my best to keep on top of my entries. I promise.

Aloha.

I am once again at the keyboard, updating on my marathon training. I am committing myself to run the Malibu Marathon this December, which will be co-sponsored by the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation.

It's the end of May and I have been training since May 3rd, two days after this year's Great Strides walk in Valencia. I had done some sporadic running throughout March and April, but I wasn't committed like I am now. Great Strides seemed like a starting point for the training and I am planning on tackling a half marathon in early August up in San Francisco. With this goal of San Fran in mind, I think I can better focus on the training and increasing my distances each week.

You can tell that this is my first new entry since the Honolulu marathon. I'm very tentative about what I'm writing. It feels very foreign to me (like it did the first few weeks last year). But, like I have fallen back into running with little difficulty, I'm sure making entries will become easier in a couple of days.

Aloha.

So that’s it, my six-month journey has come to an end and I’m wrapping things up. I hope you all enjoyed this little journal. I hope it has given you a little insight into what it’s like for a regular type family to cope with Cystic Fibrosis. We’re not rich or famous. We’re just people. And we get by a day at a time.

What does 2004 hold for us Malchus’? Budd and Karyn had a baby girl on January 19th (Megan Elizabeth). That will surely cause some new excitement. Sophie just turned 5. 5!!! How did that happen? Jules and I celebrated our 10th (!) anniversary on Dec. 30th and will have been California citizens for 10 years any day now. We didn’t get each other fancy gifts; we couldn’t afford it (maybe for 15 years?). I believe I am going to have to find a new job soon. As much as I love it at Klasky Csupo, it just doesn’t pay enough to support the family. Then again, something miraculous might happen with “King’s Highway.”

Oh, and Rebecca has asked me to help with the committee for that CF Marathon in December. I have no choice but to run it now… and maybe I’ll start a new journal once we get things up and running (pun intended).

This entire experience has opened my eyes so much and shown me that it really is human nature for people to want to help out their fellow man. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to raise $11,700 again (especially if so many of my friends and family run the CF Marathon), but I will put forth my best effort. To all of you who contributed, thank you from the bottom of my heart. And to those of you who couldn’t at this time, I hope you will find it in your hearts to help fight Cystic Fibrosis in the very near future.

To everyone, I ask you to pray, or meditate, or rub your crystals or rabbit’s feet, or whatever you do to send out good vibes so that someday we’ll see an end to Cystic Fibrosis. I ask this not just for Jacob, but also for all of those people who are inflicted with the disease.

I’ll end with this:

I try to be a good man, a good father, and a good husband. I don’t always succeed. Despite my shortcomings, I am blessed to have two wonderful children who lift me up when I am down. Sophie is an old soul at age 5 and pure heart, and Jacob is the most loving, funny, pure little boy I have ever known. Both of these kids have been through so much in such a short time of their lives. They are strong and an inspiration to me. And then there is my darling wife, Julie. I don’t know a greater, more loving and forgiving woman than Jules. She is the rock and foundation of our family, and she in my true soul mate. Withou8t her I am nothing.

That’s all from me. I hope you all enjoyed the journal. Until we speak or meet again…

Thank you, God bless, and of course…

Aloha.


All the best,

Scott

The night after the marathon, our team (CF and City of Hope) gathered at the hotel bar to commiserate about the race. Limping in with aching limbs, I expected to hear about the great accomplishments of the day. To my surprise, everyone instead shared his or her horror stories about miles 20-24. It was as if every runner hit a wall… a universal feeling of pain and agony (well, not entirely universal, the winning runner finished the marathon in 2 hours and 11 minutes). I also learned that the Honolulu marathon is one of the most difficult races to run. Having heard all of this, I someone, insanely, decided I would run at least one more marathon. I mean, how hard could it be a second time?

Actually, Rebecca informed me that the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation is going to sponsor a marathon in Malibu, CA this coming December (2004). I thought I should show up and run the inaugural event. Plus, you know, I want to really find out if I can perform better by really taking control of those factors I have control of (i.e. diet, medicine) and whether the weather can work in my favor this time (because Malibu won’t be nearly as hot or humid as Hawaii).

Right here and now, I’m setting my goal at 5:35. That’s four minutes off of my Honolulu time. That’s a lot. I better get training!

The rest of our stay in Hawaii was spectacular. We had so much fun we didn’t want to leave. I think it had something to do with facing the reality of our lives. Paradise is just so alluring. It was such a different vacation than anything we’d ever been on. I love being around all of our relatives, but there’s something to be said about not having any obligations (or feelings of guilt for not calling so and so) and just enjoying being a family and being with each other. Still, we had to get back to Los Angeles; Santa Claus was due to arrive soon after we got back.

The holidays have come and gone and I hope to begin running soon. I decided to take the rest of December off just to get through that season rested. I’ve run once since the end of December. I’m anxious to get back into some sort of groove. Soon.

The Marathon

At 3:15 am in the morning the day of the race, I woke up and ate a bowl of cereal. Somehow I was able to sleep the night before. I put on my headphones and set the MP3 player to "The Rising", Springsteen had gotten me through the entire training period and I was ready for some inspiration. I wrote the following:

Got up 15 minutes ago. Rather, I finally got out of bed. Slept well for at least four hours, maybe more. The last hour was very restless. I think I woke up every 10 minutes. Jules left me an inspiring note that I'll carry with me. I can't believe I'm actually doing this. I'm excited and just a bit anxious. But I know I'll finish. Those last six miles are for Jake. This is why I'm here-- to rep CF and raise awareness. By now it's sounding a bit like an old line to a fine routine, but I feel that in my heart.

The journey here has been worth it. Now, let's hope I complete this Odyssey with some grace.

P.S. If I never drink another glass of water...

I met up with my team at 3:45 and we all walked over to the starting line. I can't begin to describe the vibe we all got as we joined this mass of human bodies. Over 20,000 people inching their way to the beginning of the line. Robert led us up to the middle of the pack. I had decided to run with Sebastian and Lilith. The 4/2 and eventual 5/2 was my goal, and I felt like I could keep up with them for the duration of the race.

Just before 5:00 am, the ceremonies began. Someone sang the National Anthem. I have no idea where this person was standing because I was so far back. Them fire works lit up the dark morning sky and the race officially began. It would be another 20 minutes before we crossed the starting line.

The race broke down into different sections for me...

Miles 1~8:Started off strong. We seemed to be making excellent time and had a very nice pace. There was no sunlight, which actually made for excellent running weather. It was already feeling muggy even that early in the morning. I remember passing a couple of drunk women making their way home from the bars and trying to make a call on a cell phone. As we ran through downtown Honolulu, the Christmas light displays were all lit up. It was a remarkable thing to see and I kept it in the back of my mind as something we could take the kids to see later in the week. As we crossed through downtown, we also passed by some open bars. People stood on the street corners cheering us on with beers in their hands.

In the distance, Diamond Head loomed. I was worried about what kind of hill this was going to be. Robert had assured us that our training in Pasadena prepared us fully. I prayed he was right.

Miles 8~10:We take on Diamond Head for the first time. I can't believe it, but it's not that bad. At one point, we see one of the wheelchair racers pace us on their way back to the finish line. As we reached the peak, the sun broke through the clouds, rising into the sky. I could only think of one thing. "Little darling, here comes the sun..." Budd was with me after all. He always says that song reminds him of Jake. Coming down the hill, I twisted my ankle. It wouldn't be a long run if I didn't twist my damn ankle. There wasn't much pain.

My running companions were great. They really kept me going. Lillith cracked me up because she was all business. "Let’s get this thing done", seemed to be her mantra.

Miles 11~13: My legs began to ache as the sun began bringing on the heat. I popped my Advil and hoped it would ease the pain. I saw Jen Mundy for about 10 minutes and we ran together. Poor Jen was in a lot of pain and didn't know whether she was going to make it (she did). After those 10 minutes she told me to take off. Falling back with her threw me off the pace of Sebastian and Lillith and they began running about a 200 yards ahead of me between walk breaks. God bless them for waiting for me several times until I told them to stop waiting for me and go by their own pace. We reached the half marathon marker in a little over 2 hours. I felt good about that because we seemed on pace for what we accomplished the day we ran the 20 miles. Still, my legs were really bugging me and I had eaten too much pasta the night before. My stomach was cramping up. On top of that, I did something you should never do and altered my running routine by drinking some of the sports drink being handed out. The sugars in the drink messed with my stomach too.

However, I have to say that I felt a little relief when my companions disappeared. I didn't feel as much pressure to run harder. I was going to tackle this thing on my own.

Miles 14~17: At my own pace, I realized one thing that would stick with me the rest of the marathon: I may have been running by myself, but I wasn't running alone. There were so many people that I sort of fell into a pack that had its own ebb and flow. Things started to get rough by mile 16. I had to take longer walk breaks (even ignoring my watching for a couple of minutes) and my stomach really began to bother me with the cramps. It wasn't anything like that day I was running up here in Valencia, but that fear was ever present. The last thing I wanted to do was get caught in someone's front yard and.... Thank god it never came to that. The sun was now BEATING down on us (at least, that's what it felt like to me) and my feet really began to swell up. I thought that pouring water on them might alleviate some of the pain. It only made my feet heavy. Boy, what a mistake.

Miles 18~20: Miserable. That's the only way to describe how I felt. I began running about a 2/2. I say about because I wasn't being scientific or anything. And really, come on now, can you really call what I was doing running? But I push on. Then, something wonderful happened that would carry me through the rest of the race.

Halfway through mile 20 I see Robert waiting for me over to the right. He had that supportive, enthusiastic smile he always seemed to be wearing. I couldn't help but laugh. He joined me in my "pace" and told me that he's seen Sebastian and Lillith up ahead. They told him I had fallen back. So, he called my cell phone thinking I might have it on me. Instead, He got Julie and had to explain that I was no longer running with my two friends. Then, he whipped out his phone and called her again.

I was miserable. My feet hurt. My stomach was bothering me. But hearing Julie's voice and the love and support that was coming through that tiny phone receiver... I tell you what; I knew I was going to finish this damn marathon, no matter what. I suddenly had a moral boost that would carry me to the end.

Miles 21~23: Running with Robert, we started with a 3/2, but the cramps were bad (and I started thinking about the movie "Raising Arizona" and the opening scene where a male inmate says "Sometimes I get the cramps real bad."--- My mind was warped by the sun). We switched to a 2/2. Robert was definitely stronger than I was. His pace was faster. But I kept up. He must have known I was in pain, but he distracted me with conversation about how long Julie and I have been married, when he's going to get to see "King's Highway", and about a script he's been working on. He's a great coach in that he reads the moment and tries to make it easier for you. At mile 23 he held back and decided to wait for some other runners. I was a little disappointed not to have a running partner (because it made a HUGE difference), but a bit relieved not to have to keep- his pace.

Miles 24~25: Man, I was really hurting. I could barely run. Fortunately, I had my name written on the side of my arm, and people were calling it out, cheering me on. I was marveled at the outpouring of support by all of the people who came out of their houses. Some families brought out their own water to hand out to runners. And then there were those folks who were handing out beer, as well. Ohhhh, the beer sounded so tempting.

I ran out of trail mix and I started to get hunger pains. A volunteer from the Leukemia society was handing out pretzels and I grabbed a handful. This part of the run was the return up Diamond Head. Remember how I said it was so easy the first time. PURE HELL. The gradual torture of the sun blaring on us and there being no shade, and it was a slow, gradual incline, which played, oh, such nice mind tricks on you. Thoughts of not finishing crossed my mind for the first time and I almost cried. I kept on humming "Come on up for the rising...."

At 25, I began the decent down Diamond Head. "You're almost done, "someone shouted", it's all down hill from here". I couldn't even enjoy this thought. I just wanted it to be over. And yet, making it though those last three miles was quite an achievement. Each and every time I stopped to walk, I'd be muttering, "Oh, I'm never going to make it." And then low and behold, there was the mile marker.

At this point I had been running over 5 hours.

25~the end: I stuck with the 2/2 and didn't care how pathetic I looked. As I approached the end, the crowd was getting larger and the buzz and cheering pulled me through. I decide that I had just enough dignity left that I wasn't going to stop and walk once I reached the crowd and that lat quarter mile or so.

Then, about 200 yards from the end, I found Julie, Sophie and Jacob standing on the sidelines. I ran over and kissed them. As far as I was concerned, I was done. But I ran off with my arms raised and a slight grin and crossed the finish line.

After receiving a shell lai necklace, I collapsed to the ground and waited. Somehow, Julie and the kids found me. It was over. And the first thing I thought was "I will NEVER do this again.”

We've just returned from Cleveland where we were attending the funeral of Julie's grandmother, Vera Flynn. I had originally planned to return Wednesday, the day of the funeral, but changed my mind that day when I felt like I should stay and spend more time with the family. I'm glad I stayed.

Although the purpose of our trip wasn't the happiest reason to fly into bitter cold Cleveland weather, seeing everyone gathered together and getting a chance to be together made it worth it.

I will conclude everything this week.

Aloha.

The Hawaii Trip--- Pt. 1

There are things you learn when going on a long trip, like, not having enough pairs of boxers to get you through a week. Who knew? Fortunately, we would be spending most of our time in bathing swimsuits, so it wasn't a big problem. And when we discovered that our condo in Waikiki had a washer and dryer, the problem became moot.

F-R-I-E-D.

That's how I felt Friday, December 12 after arriving in Hawaii. We got out of bed at 3:45 am, not that I ever went to sleep. After missing a flight a couple of years ago and having to wait for the next available flight (ugh, what an experience
that was... and I swore we'd never take another morning flight) I never sleep well the night before a flight across the country, or in this case the ocean.

We got to Oahu fine. It was not too hot, but the humidity was quite noticeable. It reminded me of Ohio in the early months of summer: sweaty but not unbearable. All of us were pretty whipped. The kids were troopers, though. They should have cracked by midday, but both Sophie and Jacob maintained a cool excitement being in a glorious tropical paradise.

And even though Honolulu is a pretty busy city (a lot like Los Angeles), it was still wonderful to be able to look out our balcony and see/hear the waves of the bluest ocean you've ever seen.

Sophie, God bless her soul, had enough energy to keep us all running. I could feel myself on a short fuse. Nerves and exhaustion. Thank God Jules was so levelheaded. Being in Hawaii for just one day had such a great effect on us. Julie was glowing. The one thing I was really looking forward to that Friday night was it being Monday morning and beginning the vacation. I really wanted to spend time with the family... with just being "us" for a change and not worrying about reality for a week.

After a refreshing, long good night's sleep that night, we all woke up excited on Saturday about our second full day in Hawaii. I took a quick, 30 minute run through the parks by our hotel and boy was I happy I did that. My legs were plenty tight after the plane ride and I hate going into a long run with more than one day between exercising.

From there, we went to the beach for a while. It wasn't too crowded, even with all of the tourists in town for the marathon. Turns out the Honolulu Marathon is one of the big attractions each year. And with 22,000 entrants, you can see why. Still, the shoreline by our hotel was pretty small, so it seemed like there were more people than there actually were. Nevertheless, the time was a nice introduction to the sand and warm waters of Oahu.

The weather flip-flopped the entire day, from overcast to sunny. It had rained Friday night (would it rain on us Sunday as well?) and man was it WINDY! I'll tell you what; the water can be pretty frigid with that wind. After lunch we took in the pool at the hotel next door. I think we were sneaking in (don't tell anyone) but it's not like they had the pool police keeping a look out. I mean, we really looked like we belonged in that ice-cold freezing water shivering. On top of that, there was an expo taking place outside the pool for all of the marathoners. I would later get a marathon souvenir shirt.

We had dinner with the Mundy family. Jennifer is Julie's friend who ran for AIDS Project LA. Here husband Scott and her have 2 children. We all went out for dinner and ate plates of spaghetti. My second plate that day. I figured I could use all of the carbs I could get. Before dinner I met up with Rebecca, Beth, Robert and the three other Team CF Runners who had trained with Robert. It was nice to meet these other runners, one of which was from the Sacramento office of the CF Foundation. His name is Pete Tucker. Rebecca and Pete both thanked everyone for running to raise funds for CF. I’m not sure what the others' stories were. Part of me wanted to say "thank you" as well, but I held back.

We made arrangements to meet up on Sunday morning... marathon day, at 3:45 am and walk over to the starting line. I decided to run with Sebastian and Lillith from the City of Hope team while Beth would be running with Lucy, another member of our training group.

The best part of the day was when Sophie and Jake came out of the bedroom modeling t-shirts Julie had made. Each shirt had an individual picture of me with each of them printed on them. Sophie's shirt read "Daddy's Cheerleader" on the front and "Team CF on the back." Jake's read "My Daddy. My Hero" and "Team CF" on the back.

I nearly cried.

Somehow I got to sleep that night by 8:30. I was excited, anxious, and ready to test myself physically like I had never done before. This was it. Six months was going to come down to one morning...

More tomorrow.

Aloha

Here it is, January 2nd and I'm finally returning from hibernation. While we continue to clean the house for the second time in as many days in preparation for Sophie's birthday party on Sunday (can she really be turning five? How did that happen?), I want to begin my final entries for this journal, starting with some details about our trip to Hawaii. And since me will more than likely be flying to Cleveland in the next couple of days for a funeral, I'm not sure when I will get back on the computer.

Most of my reflections on the trip to the marathon come from notes I took while we were there...

Hello again.

It's been quite awhile since I have had a chance to make an update. As soon as we returned from Hawaii, our computer decided to take its own vacation and this is the first day we've had it back from the repair shop.

I plan to make a complete "report" of our trip and the marathon itself. I hope to do that in the next couple of days (hopefully before Sophie's birthday party on Sunday). Until then, I hope that everyone has a nice New Year celebration and that the holdiays have been good to you.

Aloha.

This morning was my final run before the marathon. I didn't know how far I was going to go until I got out there. There were too many things on my mind that I decided not to do a full 6 miles. Besides, it was frickin' cold out there. Frost covered the cars and the grass was brittle. I felt kind of tight, and a little strange. All of the training is now at an end. The final exam is on Sunday.

I've received a lot of nice notes from people... emails, cards and a hilarious phone call from Marsick. It was overwhelming, in a sense. Overwhelming in a good sense. I almost lost my cool tonight when I got home from work and put on some Springsteen for the kids. Some of those songs that carried me through the training, especially the emotional ones from "The Rising", it really got to me for the first time since the concert with Budd back in August. (I know, I know... Spingsteen again? Give it a rest Malchus).

The bags are all packed and Jules and I have that nervous energy we get before traveling. I'm very excited about the trip, but very neurotic about the marathon on Sunday. (What? Scott neurotic? No. Never.)

At this point I'm not even surer who is reading this journal. I've become a little self-conscious about it and I don't think I'm giving it my best writing. Then again, I've been a little scatter brained all week. When I reflect on what everything means, this marathon and the fundraising, I feel pretty proud of myself. I'm most proud of how much money was raised.

$11,713.35.

That's a butt load of money boys and girls.

Still, I keep feeling like it's not enough. If I could breakthrough and start making movies on a regular basis, using whatever clout I might attain to help fight CF, that would maybe be enough. Someday, perhaps. Let's hope.

For any of you still reading this mindless blathering, I plan to keep a journal for the week we're in Hawaii. I figure to close down this blog right after the holidays, when we celebrate Sophie's birthday. That way, we'll cover almost all of the important holidays in our lives. Perhaps I'll do an update when Julie's birthday rolls around in May. That would be a nice epilogue.

That's all for now. We rise up at 4:00 in the morning and venture down to LAX. It's going to be a long morning, but the payoff is we get into Hawaii and it will only be lunchtime. How cool is that.

Until I return, God bless us, every one of us! And all of you folks tat helped raise the money. God bless you, too.

Aloha

Today is December 10. It was 2 years ago today that we learned that Jake had CF. I didn't think about it much today, but I could tell it was on our minds. It was just there, hanging like a cloud. Jules is in bed already. She's tense about the trip. She always gets that way before we travel. But I know that the significance of today is bothering her as well.

I hope that someday it won't affect us as much as it does now. Last year it was hard to get as excited about Christmas as we'd hoped. The year before...well, we were overwhelmed.

I've received a bunch of nice letters, calls and emails giving me extra confidence for Sunday. I think the marathon falling so close to today will give me that extra kick at the end as well.

I haven't thought much about the race. In fact, I forgot I have to get up and run tomorrow. When I think about the marathon I feel a touch anxious. But I know I'll finish. I'm not just running for myself.

Aloha

It's been a looooong day. Got out of bed at 4:30, but I didn't sleep well. I was too worried that I might oversleep the alarm. Had to get up and drive Vill to the airport this morning and get him there by 6:15. Can't complain, though. He's done so much for me in the past two years, this is the least I can do.

After dropping him off, I came to work and ran on the treadmill for about 30 minutes. A simple 5K on the treadmill is nothing, anymore. I can't believe that just six months ago I could barely run 2 miles. Now, 3.1 is a piece of cake. I guess all of that training really has paid off.

Not much else happening today. Work was work. The DVD master should be complete by tomorrow. That's pretty damn exciting, if I do say so myself. Hopefully we'll have something to send out by the turn of the year. Will I EVER stop thinking about this movie? I'm so eager to begin something new. Alas, I have to continue to be patient.

Once we return from Hawaii I plan to begin work on a new script. I need to complete my rewrite of "American Standard" so I can put that one to rest for a while. Ryan said I should have 5 to 7 scripts ready by February. Egads. I don't think I can do it. That's A LOT of writing. Perhaps my creative mind will be a little less crowded once the marathon is over and we've had our vacation. I can only hope.

That's all for today. Must get some rest.

Aloha.

Another Monday, another visit to Dr. Good. I like this guy. Besides getting my back all set for the marathon, he's a pretty cool guy to converse with (except when he makes me listen to Michael Bolton during the roller machines. I mean.... Come On!).

I have to get up early and take Vill to the airport early tomorrow morning. He's off to the Bahamas for a movie shoot. He's going to be gone for at least two weeks. They're not sure if he's going back after the holidays. I can't imagine going that long without seeing Julie and the kids. Besides just being out of the country, I don't think I would like being away that long. A week is tolerable. But after that it would get VERY depressing.

I guess that's the price you pay working in the entertainment industry. For now, I have this semi-secure desk job that keeps me close to home. I'm not sure how we'll handle me being away should that opportunity ever arise. There is a big part of me that really wants to be shooting more movies, like, NOW. But the hours would be horrific.

Changing the subject, I have to say that one of the greatest things about this whole experience has been how I've been able to hear from friends and family across the country. In particular, I'm speaking about my cousin Kenny. Kenny is a few years older than me and we never really had much to talk about. He's actually older than all of the kids on my side of the family. Kenny is the relative who had a son pass away from CF when I was a kid. I must admit, I don't remember much about his son, Brandon, except that he was sick a lot. Back then I didn't know what CF was and it wasn't really explained to any of us. Needless to say, no one told us that the disease did not have a cure.

Brandon was born years before the gene was discovered, so he didn't have the same medicines that Jacob has. His life was much tougher than Jake's. And when Brandon passed away, I was too young to really comprehend what had happened. It's strange to say that now. It's strange to admit that I didn't have a clue how fragile life was. I guess it was easier because we only saw those Malchus' once a year. That's a lame excuse, I know.

But through everything that happened, those two words, Cystic Fibrosis, stuck in my memory.

When Jacob was in the UCLA ICU the weekend he was born, he didn't appear to be the sickest child in the ward. There were kids with open head wounds and heart conditions lying right next to him. He looked like he was fine and he had begun to drink milk. It wasn't until the final hour we were there that the surgeon who was going to operate on him mentioned that a CF test was supposed to have been done. And that's when the bell went off in my head. "Cystic Fibrosis? Did he say Cystic Fibrosis?"

Of all of the people who have been the most supportive to my family over the past two years, I feel that the most encouraging words I receive are from my cousin Kenny. I have often said in this journal that I can't imagine what it would be like to lose a child. Well, Kenny has. He lost his son to Cystic Fibrosis. He has witnessed the horrors of this disease first person. And I will say this; he was one of the first people who called us the day we learned of Jacob's diagnosis.

You have to understand, before that day two years ago, I could not tell you the last time I had had any communication with Kenny. But here he was calling us, telling us to keep our chins up and telling us that he was optimistic that they would find a cure. Those words meant more to me than anyone else's during that time. And now that I've been keeping this log and training for this marathon, Kenny has continually checked in on what I'm writing and he has continually sent me emails full of encouragement and support.

I have to say that for this limited time, the way all of my family and friends have come together has been the most enlightening aspect of the whole ordeal. And to be able to communicate frequently with my cousins whom I rarely see, that is just fantastic. It's like, you always know there are good people out there. I don't think I would want these folks a part of my life if I didn't know that deep down they were big hearted. But these past six months have proven what I always believed, ten fold. These past six months have really opened my eyes and heart to the greatness in this world and the possibilities to overcome and cure Cystic Fibrosis.

Three more days until we leave.

Aloha.

Yesterday morning was an excellent run, I must say. I was full of energy and felt very strong at the end. Of course, I felt just as strong at the end of the 10 mile run we did before the 20 mile run, but hey, who's keeping track?

They new shoes felt great and I took some of these supplements called Very Greens (from Trader Joe's, only 10 bucks), which kept me feeling full (i.e. not depleted of energy) during the run. And I had a pretty full breakfast with two scrambled eggs and a bagel. Is this the right combination? Who knows? I think the eggs and their protein is the way to go, though. I'll have to check into that when we get to Hawaii.

I completed the "Thank You" cards on Friday and it was quite a good feeling. We didn't do anything last night. Tonight we had the Cruz's and the Millers (from down the street) over for dinner. It was one of those occasions in which both families had never really met so we wondered whether they'd get along. The night was wonderful. Jules cooked a great Ziti dish and all of the kids got along great.

It is strange to think that next week at this time I will have completed the marathon. And I say that with confidence. I WILL complete the marathon. I'll admit there were a couple of weeks that I was unsure. But now that I can feel it drawing closer... I have no doubt. And whether or not I'm sore and need to crash (which I hope not), I know there are people around the country who have been rooting for me, no matter what. That's quite a feeling to have and it's energy I will be drawing from and harnessing during the run. When I start feeling low, I can tell myself whom I am running for. And when I start feeling less confident, I can listen to the voices of those friends and family who have contacted me over the course of these six months and have those inner voices cheer me on.

I was able to do a little of this when I was attempting my ill-fated Bowling Green 18 miles run in the arctic winds. Yet, having practiced this type of visualization back then, I'm pretty sure I'll be able to use it come next week.

This has been a really great weekend. After church this morning, I played hide and seek with Soph and Jake. I can't recall having that much fun with them and giggling and laughing with them by just being silly. I can't describe the feeling of being loved like that. Maybe I've said that a couple of times. But to have another human just love you no matter what... God! It is the greatest feeling in the world.

And then there's Jules.

I had a dream last night that left me waking up with the fear of losing her. I rarely remember any of dreams, and although I don't recall any of the specifics, I woke up looking for her. And when I looked over at her sleeping, with the kids in between us, I had a huge sigh of relief. I would be lost without her. I would be nothing.

Can't wait to get out of Los Angeles and just be a family on our own for a week.

Aloha.

This week is dragging on and the anticipation for the marathon is starting to build. I've run twice this week and both were unsatisfying (Tuesday and this morning). Inside there is this part of me that just wants to the race to be here so we can get on with it already. I guess this must be the nervous energy everyone has been telling me about. If so, I will have plenty to burn come Sunday the 14th.

I have spent the better part of two days writing out Thank You cards to the people who have made donations. I want to thank everyone personally, even those people I don't know. I only have a few left. Today I received a donation from the Andersons, great people from my youth back in North Olmsted. Peg and Dave Anderson were youth leaders in my church and I always looked up to them. They actually challenged our minds when were teens and made us try and think about what God was all about... all in that hour of Sunday when most kids were indifferent or half awake. But I always enjoyed those classes. Peg had been in a singing group with Mom when I was a kid. And when we filling out invitations to our wedding (10 years ago!) Mom Flynn discovered that she, too, knew Peg Anderson from when Julie was a baby. Talk about a small world.

Dave is in remission. I haven't spoken to them in so long. I knew he was ill, and I always expected to hear from Mom and Dad that he'd passed. I am so happy he is recovering. They are truly good human beings who really cared.

I have given up coffee again. After what Jules said to me on Saturday I decided that I really should let it go. And you know what, I sure feel a lot more relaxed. I'm not perfect, but at least I'm trying, eh?

I am supposed to be working on some screenplays, but I can't get my head wrapped around the stories I'm going to write. Can't concentrate is more like it. Again, I believe it's some of that marathon anxiety floating around in my head. I have been reading, though. After finishing "East of Eden" I did something I haven't done since high school... I dove right into another book. This one, "The Corrections", came highly recommended by Steve. So far so good.

My god, have I resorted to this? Have I begun just rambling about my silly existence? I've become one of those self-inflated pop stars who keep a blog to express their personal views to the world. Gag me with a spoon. I don't have that much that is important to say.

Jake has been kind of gunky the past few days. He's having a hard time shaking off this cold. His nose is running a lot. Thankfully, it's all clear. I don't think that I mentioned this previously, but Jacob qualified for California Children's Services. Basically, this state run service will cover almost all of his CF related medical costs for the next year (we have to reapply each year). Today we saved $150! We had to purchase new nebulizer cups and more meds. Of course, the meds weren't ready because the prescription had expired and the pharmacy is waiting for the doctor's office to renew it. And do you think anyone called to let Jules know before she packed up the kids and made the trip to the pharmacy?

I'm not knocking the pharmacy or the doctor's office (not too much, anyway). Both groups of people have been great to us. But a simple phone call to keep us in the loop is all that we're asking. Especially when Julie spent time on the phone with them calling in the prescription. Know what I mean?

All right, enough of my bitchin'. It's the Holidays and everyone should be in good spirits. So on that note, good night. Pray for peace in the Middle East. And as always, pray that a cure is around the corner.

Aloha

P.S. Got off work to get home early and watch that BG/Miami (OH) game. BG got crushed. Bummer.