Hello again.
It's been quite awhile since I have had a chance to make an update. As soon as we returned from Hawaii, our computer decided to take its own vacation and this is the first day we've had it back from the repair shop.
I plan to make a complete "report" of our trip and the marathon itself. I hope to do that in the next couple of days (hopefully before Sophie's birthday party on Sunday). Until then, I hope that everyone has a nice New Year celebration and that the holdiays have been good to you.
Aloha.
Wednesday, December 31, 2003
Thursday, December 11, 2003
This morning was my final run before the marathon. I didn't know how far I was going to go until I got out there. There were too many things on my mind that I decided not to do a full 6 miles. Besides, it was frickin' cold out there. Frost covered the cars and the grass was brittle. I felt kind of tight, and a little strange. All of the training is now at an end. The final exam is on Sunday.
I've received a lot of nice notes from people... emails, cards and a hilarious phone call from Marsick. It was overwhelming, in a sense. Overwhelming in a good sense. I almost lost my cool tonight when I got home from work and put on some Springsteen for the kids. Some of those songs that carried me through the training, especially the emotional ones from "The Rising", it really got to me for the first time since the concert with Budd back in August. (I know, I know... Spingsteen again? Give it a rest Malchus).
The bags are all packed and Jules and I have that nervous energy we get before traveling. I'm very excited about the trip, but very neurotic about the marathon on Sunday. (What? Scott neurotic? No. Never.)
At this point I'm not even surer who is reading this journal. I've become a little self-conscious about it and I don't think I'm giving it my best writing. Then again, I've been a little scatter brained all week. When I reflect on what everything means, this marathon and the fundraising, I feel pretty proud of myself. I'm most proud of how much money was raised.
$11,713.35.
That's a butt load of money boys and girls.
Still, I keep feeling like it's not enough. If I could breakthrough and start making movies on a regular basis, using whatever clout I might attain to help fight CF, that would maybe be enough. Someday, perhaps. Let's hope.
For any of you still reading this mindless blathering, I plan to keep a journal for the week we're in Hawaii. I figure to close down this blog right after the holidays, when we celebrate Sophie's birthday. That way, we'll cover almost all of the important holidays in our lives. Perhaps I'll do an update when Julie's birthday rolls around in May. That would be a nice epilogue.
That's all for now. We rise up at 4:00 in the morning and venture down to LAX. It's going to be a long morning, but the payoff is we get into Hawaii and it will only be lunchtime. How cool is that.
Until I return, God bless us, every one of us! And all of you folks tat helped raise the money. God bless you, too.
Aloha
I've received a lot of nice notes from people... emails, cards and a hilarious phone call from Marsick. It was overwhelming, in a sense. Overwhelming in a good sense. I almost lost my cool tonight when I got home from work and put on some Springsteen for the kids. Some of those songs that carried me through the training, especially the emotional ones from "The Rising", it really got to me for the first time since the concert with Budd back in August. (I know, I know... Spingsteen again? Give it a rest Malchus).
The bags are all packed and Jules and I have that nervous energy we get before traveling. I'm very excited about the trip, but very neurotic about the marathon on Sunday. (What? Scott neurotic? No. Never.)
At this point I'm not even surer who is reading this journal. I've become a little self-conscious about it and I don't think I'm giving it my best writing. Then again, I've been a little scatter brained all week. When I reflect on what everything means, this marathon and the fundraising, I feel pretty proud of myself. I'm most proud of how much money was raised.
$11,713.35.
That's a butt load of money boys and girls.
Still, I keep feeling like it's not enough. If I could breakthrough and start making movies on a regular basis, using whatever clout I might attain to help fight CF, that would maybe be enough. Someday, perhaps. Let's hope.
For any of you still reading this mindless blathering, I plan to keep a journal for the week we're in Hawaii. I figure to close down this blog right after the holidays, when we celebrate Sophie's birthday. That way, we'll cover almost all of the important holidays in our lives. Perhaps I'll do an update when Julie's birthday rolls around in May. That would be a nice epilogue.
That's all for now. We rise up at 4:00 in the morning and venture down to LAX. It's going to be a long morning, but the payoff is we get into Hawaii and it will only be lunchtime. How cool is that.
Until I return, God bless us, every one of us! And all of you folks tat helped raise the money. God bless you, too.
Aloha
Wednesday, December 10, 2003
Today is December 10. It was 2 years ago today that we learned that Jake had CF. I didn't think about it much today, but I could tell it was on our minds. It was just there, hanging like a cloud. Jules is in bed already. She's tense about the trip. She always gets that way before we travel. But I know that the significance of today is bothering her as well.
I hope that someday it won't affect us as much as it does now. Last year it was hard to get as excited about Christmas as we'd hoped. The year before...well, we were overwhelmed.
I've received a bunch of nice letters, calls and emails giving me extra confidence for Sunday. I think the marathon falling so close to today will give me that extra kick at the end as well.
I haven't thought much about the race. In fact, I forgot I have to get up and run tomorrow. When I think about the marathon I feel a touch anxious. But I know I'll finish. I'm not just running for myself.
Aloha
I hope that someday it won't affect us as much as it does now. Last year it was hard to get as excited about Christmas as we'd hoped. The year before...well, we were overwhelmed.
I've received a bunch of nice letters, calls and emails giving me extra confidence for Sunday. I think the marathon falling so close to today will give me that extra kick at the end as well.
I haven't thought much about the race. In fact, I forgot I have to get up and run tomorrow. When I think about the marathon I feel a touch anxious. But I know I'll finish. I'm not just running for myself.
Aloha
Tuesday, December 09, 2003
It's been a looooong day. Got out of bed at 4:30, but I didn't sleep well. I was too worried that I might oversleep the alarm. Had to get up and drive Vill to the airport this morning and get him there by 6:15. Can't complain, though. He's done so much for me in the past two years, this is the least I can do.
After dropping him off, I came to work and ran on the treadmill for about 30 minutes. A simple 5K on the treadmill is nothing, anymore. I can't believe that just six months ago I could barely run 2 miles. Now, 3.1 is a piece of cake. I guess all of that training really has paid off.
Not much else happening today. Work was work. The DVD master should be complete by tomorrow. That's pretty damn exciting, if I do say so myself. Hopefully we'll have something to send out by the turn of the year. Will I EVER stop thinking about this movie? I'm so eager to begin something new. Alas, I have to continue to be patient.
Once we return from Hawaii I plan to begin work on a new script. I need to complete my rewrite of "American Standard" so I can put that one to rest for a while. Ryan said I should have 5 to 7 scripts ready by February. Egads. I don't think I can do it. That's A LOT of writing. Perhaps my creative mind will be a little less crowded once the marathon is over and we've had our vacation. I can only hope.
That's all for today. Must get some rest.
Aloha.
After dropping him off, I came to work and ran on the treadmill for about 30 minutes. A simple 5K on the treadmill is nothing, anymore. I can't believe that just six months ago I could barely run 2 miles. Now, 3.1 is a piece of cake. I guess all of that training really has paid off.
Not much else happening today. Work was work. The DVD master should be complete by tomorrow. That's pretty damn exciting, if I do say so myself. Hopefully we'll have something to send out by the turn of the year. Will I EVER stop thinking about this movie? I'm so eager to begin something new. Alas, I have to continue to be patient.
Once we return from Hawaii I plan to begin work on a new script. I need to complete my rewrite of "American Standard" so I can put that one to rest for a while. Ryan said I should have 5 to 7 scripts ready by February. Egads. I don't think I can do it. That's A LOT of writing. Perhaps my creative mind will be a little less crowded once the marathon is over and we've had our vacation. I can only hope.
That's all for today. Must get some rest.
Aloha.
Monday, December 08, 2003
Another Monday, another visit to Dr. Good. I like this guy. Besides getting my back all set for the marathon, he's a pretty cool guy to converse with (except when he makes me listen to Michael Bolton during the roller machines. I mean.... Come On!).
I have to get up early and take Vill to the airport early tomorrow morning. He's off to the Bahamas for a movie shoot. He's going to be gone for at least two weeks. They're not sure if he's going back after the holidays. I can't imagine going that long without seeing Julie and the kids. Besides just being out of the country, I don't think I would like being away that long. A week is tolerable. But after that it would get VERY depressing.
I guess that's the price you pay working in the entertainment industry. For now, I have this semi-secure desk job that keeps me close to home. I'm not sure how we'll handle me being away should that opportunity ever arise. There is a big part of me that really wants to be shooting more movies, like, NOW. But the hours would be horrific.
Changing the subject, I have to say that one of the greatest things about this whole experience has been how I've been able to hear from friends and family across the country. In particular, I'm speaking about my cousin Kenny. Kenny is a few years older than me and we never really had much to talk about. He's actually older than all of the kids on my side of the family. Kenny is the relative who had a son pass away from CF when I was a kid. I must admit, I don't remember much about his son, Brandon, except that he was sick a lot. Back then I didn't know what CF was and it wasn't really explained to any of us. Needless to say, no one told us that the disease did not have a cure.
Brandon was born years before the gene was discovered, so he didn't have the same medicines that Jacob has. His life was much tougher than Jake's. And when Brandon passed away, I was too young to really comprehend what had happened. It's strange to say that now. It's strange to admit that I didn't have a clue how fragile life was. I guess it was easier because we only saw those Malchus' once a year. That's a lame excuse, I know.
But through everything that happened, those two words, Cystic Fibrosis, stuck in my memory.
When Jacob was in the UCLA ICU the weekend he was born, he didn't appear to be the sickest child in the ward. There were kids with open head wounds and heart conditions lying right next to him. He looked like he was fine and he had begun to drink milk. It wasn't until the final hour we were there that the surgeon who was going to operate on him mentioned that a CF test was supposed to have been done. And that's when the bell went off in my head. "Cystic Fibrosis? Did he say Cystic Fibrosis?"
Of all of the people who have been the most supportive to my family over the past two years, I feel that the most encouraging words I receive are from my cousin Kenny. I have often said in this journal that I can't imagine what it would be like to lose a child. Well, Kenny has. He lost his son to Cystic Fibrosis. He has witnessed the horrors of this disease first person. And I will say this; he was one of the first people who called us the day we learned of Jacob's diagnosis.
You have to understand, before that day two years ago, I could not tell you the last time I had had any communication with Kenny. But here he was calling us, telling us to keep our chins up and telling us that he was optimistic that they would find a cure. Those words meant more to me than anyone else's during that time. And now that I've been keeping this log and training for this marathon, Kenny has continually checked in on what I'm writing and he has continually sent me emails full of encouragement and support.
I have to say that for this limited time, the way all of my family and friends have come together has been the most enlightening aspect of the whole ordeal. And to be able to communicate frequently with my cousins whom I rarely see, that is just fantastic. It's like, you always know there are good people out there. I don't think I would want these folks a part of my life if I didn't know that deep down they were big hearted. But these past six months have proven what I always believed, ten fold. These past six months have really opened my eyes and heart to the greatness in this world and the possibilities to overcome and cure Cystic Fibrosis.
Three more days until we leave.
Aloha.
I have to get up early and take Vill to the airport early tomorrow morning. He's off to the Bahamas for a movie shoot. He's going to be gone for at least two weeks. They're not sure if he's going back after the holidays. I can't imagine going that long without seeing Julie and the kids. Besides just being out of the country, I don't think I would like being away that long. A week is tolerable. But after that it would get VERY depressing.
I guess that's the price you pay working in the entertainment industry. For now, I have this semi-secure desk job that keeps me close to home. I'm not sure how we'll handle me being away should that opportunity ever arise. There is a big part of me that really wants to be shooting more movies, like, NOW. But the hours would be horrific.
Changing the subject, I have to say that one of the greatest things about this whole experience has been how I've been able to hear from friends and family across the country. In particular, I'm speaking about my cousin Kenny. Kenny is a few years older than me and we never really had much to talk about. He's actually older than all of the kids on my side of the family. Kenny is the relative who had a son pass away from CF when I was a kid. I must admit, I don't remember much about his son, Brandon, except that he was sick a lot. Back then I didn't know what CF was and it wasn't really explained to any of us. Needless to say, no one told us that the disease did not have a cure.
Brandon was born years before the gene was discovered, so he didn't have the same medicines that Jacob has. His life was much tougher than Jake's. And when Brandon passed away, I was too young to really comprehend what had happened. It's strange to say that now. It's strange to admit that I didn't have a clue how fragile life was. I guess it was easier because we only saw those Malchus' once a year. That's a lame excuse, I know.
But through everything that happened, those two words, Cystic Fibrosis, stuck in my memory.
When Jacob was in the UCLA ICU the weekend he was born, he didn't appear to be the sickest child in the ward. There were kids with open head wounds and heart conditions lying right next to him. He looked like he was fine and he had begun to drink milk. It wasn't until the final hour we were there that the surgeon who was going to operate on him mentioned that a CF test was supposed to have been done. And that's when the bell went off in my head. "Cystic Fibrosis? Did he say Cystic Fibrosis?"
Of all of the people who have been the most supportive to my family over the past two years, I feel that the most encouraging words I receive are from my cousin Kenny. I have often said in this journal that I can't imagine what it would be like to lose a child. Well, Kenny has. He lost his son to Cystic Fibrosis. He has witnessed the horrors of this disease first person. And I will say this; he was one of the first people who called us the day we learned of Jacob's diagnosis.
You have to understand, before that day two years ago, I could not tell you the last time I had had any communication with Kenny. But here he was calling us, telling us to keep our chins up and telling us that he was optimistic that they would find a cure. Those words meant more to me than anyone else's during that time. And now that I've been keeping this log and training for this marathon, Kenny has continually checked in on what I'm writing and he has continually sent me emails full of encouragement and support.
I have to say that for this limited time, the way all of my family and friends have come together has been the most enlightening aspect of the whole ordeal. And to be able to communicate frequently with my cousins whom I rarely see, that is just fantastic. It's like, you always know there are good people out there. I don't think I would want these folks a part of my life if I didn't know that deep down they were big hearted. But these past six months have proven what I always believed, ten fold. These past six months have really opened my eyes and heart to the greatness in this world and the possibilities to overcome and cure Cystic Fibrosis.
Three more days until we leave.
Aloha.
Sunday, December 07, 2003
Yesterday morning was an excellent run, I must say. I was full of energy and felt very strong at the end. Of course, I felt just as strong at the end of the 10 mile run we did before the 20 mile run, but hey, who's keeping track?
They new shoes felt great and I took some of these supplements called Very Greens (from Trader Joe's, only 10 bucks), which kept me feeling full (i.e. not depleted of energy) during the run. And I had a pretty full breakfast with two scrambled eggs and a bagel. Is this the right combination? Who knows? I think the eggs and their protein is the way to go, though. I'll have to check into that when we get to Hawaii.
I completed the "Thank You" cards on Friday and it was quite a good feeling. We didn't do anything last night. Tonight we had the Cruz's and the Millers (from down the street) over for dinner. It was one of those occasions in which both families had never really met so we wondered whether they'd get along. The night was wonderful. Jules cooked a great Ziti dish and all of the kids got along great.
It is strange to think that next week at this time I will have completed the marathon. And I say that with confidence. I WILL complete the marathon. I'll admit there were a couple of weeks that I was unsure. But now that I can feel it drawing closer... I have no doubt. And whether or not I'm sore and need to crash (which I hope not), I know there are people around the country who have been rooting for me, no matter what. That's quite a feeling to have and it's energy I will be drawing from and harnessing during the run. When I start feeling low, I can tell myself whom I am running for. And when I start feeling less confident, I can listen to the voices of those friends and family who have contacted me over the course of these six months and have those inner voices cheer me on.
I was able to do a little of this when I was attempting my ill-fated Bowling Green 18 miles run in the arctic winds. Yet, having practiced this type of visualization back then, I'm pretty sure I'll be able to use it come next week.
This has been a really great weekend. After church this morning, I played hide and seek with Soph and Jake. I can't recall having that much fun with them and giggling and laughing with them by just being silly. I can't describe the feeling of being loved like that. Maybe I've said that a couple of times. But to have another human just love you no matter what... God! It is the greatest feeling in the world.
And then there's Jules.
I had a dream last night that left me waking up with the fear of losing her. I rarely remember any of dreams, and although I don't recall any of the specifics, I woke up looking for her. And when I looked over at her sleeping, with the kids in between us, I had a huge sigh of relief. I would be lost without her. I would be nothing.
Can't wait to get out of Los Angeles and just be a family on our own for a week.
Aloha.
They new shoes felt great and I took some of these supplements called Very Greens (from Trader Joe's, only 10 bucks), which kept me feeling full (i.e. not depleted of energy) during the run. And I had a pretty full breakfast with two scrambled eggs and a bagel. Is this the right combination? Who knows? I think the eggs and their protein is the way to go, though. I'll have to check into that when we get to Hawaii.
I completed the "Thank You" cards on Friday and it was quite a good feeling. We didn't do anything last night. Tonight we had the Cruz's and the Millers (from down the street) over for dinner. It was one of those occasions in which both families had never really met so we wondered whether they'd get along. The night was wonderful. Jules cooked a great Ziti dish and all of the kids got along great.
It is strange to think that next week at this time I will have completed the marathon. And I say that with confidence. I WILL complete the marathon. I'll admit there were a couple of weeks that I was unsure. But now that I can feel it drawing closer... I have no doubt. And whether or not I'm sore and need to crash (which I hope not), I know there are people around the country who have been rooting for me, no matter what. That's quite a feeling to have and it's energy I will be drawing from and harnessing during the run. When I start feeling low, I can tell myself whom I am running for. And when I start feeling less confident, I can listen to the voices of those friends and family who have contacted me over the course of these six months and have those inner voices cheer me on.
I was able to do a little of this when I was attempting my ill-fated Bowling Green 18 miles run in the arctic winds. Yet, having practiced this type of visualization back then, I'm pretty sure I'll be able to use it come next week.
This has been a really great weekend. After church this morning, I played hide and seek with Soph and Jake. I can't recall having that much fun with them and giggling and laughing with them by just being silly. I can't describe the feeling of being loved like that. Maybe I've said that a couple of times. But to have another human just love you no matter what... God! It is the greatest feeling in the world.
And then there's Jules.
I had a dream last night that left me waking up with the fear of losing her. I rarely remember any of dreams, and although I don't recall any of the specifics, I woke up looking for her. And when I looked over at her sleeping, with the kids in between us, I had a huge sigh of relief. I would be lost without her. I would be nothing.
Can't wait to get out of Los Angeles and just be a family on our own for a week.
Aloha.
Thursday, December 04, 2003
This week is dragging on and the anticipation for the marathon is starting to build. I've run twice this week and both were unsatisfying (Tuesday and this morning). Inside there is this part of me that just wants to the race to be here so we can get on with it already. I guess this must be the nervous energy everyone has been telling me about. If so, I will have plenty to burn come Sunday the 14th.
I have spent the better part of two days writing out Thank You cards to the people who have made donations. I want to thank everyone personally, even those people I don't know. I only have a few left. Today I received a donation from the Andersons, great people from my youth back in North Olmsted. Peg and Dave Anderson were youth leaders in my church and I always looked up to them. They actually challenged our minds when were teens and made us try and think about what God was all about... all in that hour of Sunday when most kids were indifferent or half awake. But I always enjoyed those classes. Peg had been in a singing group with Mom when I was a kid. And when we filling out invitations to our wedding (10 years ago!) Mom Flynn discovered that she, too, knew Peg Anderson from when Julie was a baby. Talk about a small world.
Dave is in remission. I haven't spoken to them in so long. I knew he was ill, and I always expected to hear from Mom and Dad that he'd passed. I am so happy he is recovering. They are truly good human beings who really cared.
I have given up coffee again. After what Jules said to me on Saturday I decided that I really should let it go. And you know what, I sure feel a lot more relaxed. I'm not perfect, but at least I'm trying, eh?
I am supposed to be working on some screenplays, but I can't get my head wrapped around the stories I'm going to write. Can't concentrate is more like it. Again, I believe it's some of that marathon anxiety floating around in my head. I have been reading, though. After finishing "East of Eden" I did something I haven't done since high school... I dove right into another book. This one, "The Corrections", came highly recommended by Steve. So far so good.
My god, have I resorted to this? Have I begun just rambling about my silly existence? I've become one of those self-inflated pop stars who keep a blog to express their personal views to the world. Gag me with a spoon. I don't have that much that is important to say.
Jake has been kind of gunky the past few days. He's having a hard time shaking off this cold. His nose is running a lot. Thankfully, it's all clear. I don't think that I mentioned this previously, but Jacob qualified for California Children's Services. Basically, this state run service will cover almost all of his CF related medical costs for the next year (we have to reapply each year). Today we saved $150! We had to purchase new nebulizer cups and more meds. Of course, the meds weren't ready because the prescription had expired and the pharmacy is waiting for the doctor's office to renew it. And do you think anyone called to let Jules know before she packed up the kids and made the trip to the pharmacy?
I'm not knocking the pharmacy or the doctor's office (not too much, anyway). Both groups of people have been great to us. But a simple phone call to keep us in the loop is all that we're asking. Especially when Julie spent time on the phone with them calling in the prescription. Know what I mean?
All right, enough of my bitchin'. It's the Holidays and everyone should be in good spirits. So on that note, good night. Pray for peace in the Middle East. And as always, pray that a cure is around the corner.
Aloha
P.S. Got off work to get home early and watch that BG/Miami (OH) game. BG got crushed. Bummer.
I have spent the better part of two days writing out Thank You cards to the people who have made donations. I want to thank everyone personally, even those people I don't know. I only have a few left. Today I received a donation from the Andersons, great people from my youth back in North Olmsted. Peg and Dave Anderson were youth leaders in my church and I always looked up to them. They actually challenged our minds when were teens and made us try and think about what God was all about... all in that hour of Sunday when most kids were indifferent or half awake. But I always enjoyed those classes. Peg had been in a singing group with Mom when I was a kid. And when we filling out invitations to our wedding (10 years ago!) Mom Flynn discovered that she, too, knew Peg Anderson from when Julie was a baby. Talk about a small world.
Dave is in remission. I haven't spoken to them in so long. I knew he was ill, and I always expected to hear from Mom and Dad that he'd passed. I am so happy he is recovering. They are truly good human beings who really cared.
I have given up coffee again. After what Jules said to me on Saturday I decided that I really should let it go. And you know what, I sure feel a lot more relaxed. I'm not perfect, but at least I'm trying, eh?
I am supposed to be working on some screenplays, but I can't get my head wrapped around the stories I'm going to write. Can't concentrate is more like it. Again, I believe it's some of that marathon anxiety floating around in my head. I have been reading, though. After finishing "East of Eden" I did something I haven't done since high school... I dove right into another book. This one, "The Corrections", came highly recommended by Steve. So far so good.
My god, have I resorted to this? Have I begun just rambling about my silly existence? I've become one of those self-inflated pop stars who keep a blog to express their personal views to the world. Gag me with a spoon. I don't have that much that is important to say.
Jake has been kind of gunky the past few days. He's having a hard time shaking off this cold. His nose is running a lot. Thankfully, it's all clear. I don't think that I mentioned this previously, but Jacob qualified for California Children's Services. Basically, this state run service will cover almost all of his CF related medical costs for the next year (we have to reapply each year). Today we saved $150! We had to purchase new nebulizer cups and more meds. Of course, the meds weren't ready because the prescription had expired and the pharmacy is waiting for the doctor's office to renew it. And do you think anyone called to let Jules know before she packed up the kids and made the trip to the pharmacy?
I'm not knocking the pharmacy or the doctor's office (not too much, anyway). Both groups of people have been great to us. But a simple phone call to keep us in the loop is all that we're asking. Especially when Julie spent time on the phone with them calling in the prescription. Know what I mean?
All right, enough of my bitchin'. It's the Holidays and everyone should be in good spirits. So on that note, good night. Pray for peace in the Middle East. And as always, pray that a cure is around the corner.
Aloha
P.S. Got off work to get home early and watch that BG/Miami (OH) game. BG got crushed. Bummer.
Sunday, November 30, 2003
A rare Sunday entry.
Everyone seems to be fighting this cold. Jules and I woke up worse for the wear (you have to feel crappier before you feel better, right?) and the kids just feel out of sorts.
The day was pretty mellow, a bunch of errands and some household chores. We took the kids to lunch at El Pollo Loco and that's when I started to lose it. Neither of them would eat anything and only wanted to play in the jungle-gym area. And I couldn't help but feel, "Man, we spent MONEY on this food, and it's going to be thrown away."
And I was forceful in my tone of voice with Sophie, especially, and this black cloud just stayed over me the rest of the afternoon. Later on, when we were getting ready for dinner, Sophie, being a 5 year old, complained about having to pick up the living room by herself. And again, I had this... tone. And I used it on her and I walked away, angry. Moments later, Julie took me a side and told me that I sound "angry. And (my) voice is scary."
Scary?
Who have I become? I'd like to use some excuse that it's the coffee or the pressure of the marathon or that subconsciously there's something about CF tied up in my behavior. But that would be a load of crap. I'm like my father in so many ways and it comes out when I'm frustrated with the kids. I wish I could stop myself before these moments rise to the surface.
Where is this anger coming from? I can't blame it on my childhood. That's not it. It's something else.
Am I being hard on myself? And am I projecting the high expectations I have for myself on to my kids? Sometimes I hear Sophie sound sad because she thinks something she’s done isn't good enough. Where is THAT coming from?
Lately I can feel my whole body being tense at all times. I can feel this huge relief when I take off my shirt at night, like the chains of the day have been stripped.
I'd like to think it was the marathon or job related or something to do with CF. Maybe it's all of those. But I have to find some way to get in touch with this bottled...raw energy and release it somewhere else besides towards my family. Lord knows we have enough to deal with already.
Two weeks until the marathon.
Aloha
Everyone seems to be fighting this cold. Jules and I woke up worse for the wear (you have to feel crappier before you feel better, right?) and the kids just feel out of sorts.
The day was pretty mellow, a bunch of errands and some household chores. We took the kids to lunch at El Pollo Loco and that's when I started to lose it. Neither of them would eat anything and only wanted to play in the jungle-gym area. And I couldn't help but feel, "Man, we spent MONEY on this food, and it's going to be thrown away."
And I was forceful in my tone of voice with Sophie, especially, and this black cloud just stayed over me the rest of the afternoon. Later on, when we were getting ready for dinner, Sophie, being a 5 year old, complained about having to pick up the living room by herself. And again, I had this... tone. And I used it on her and I walked away, angry. Moments later, Julie took me a side and told me that I sound "angry. And (my) voice is scary."
Scary?
Who have I become? I'd like to use some excuse that it's the coffee or the pressure of the marathon or that subconsciously there's something about CF tied up in my behavior. But that would be a load of crap. I'm like my father in so many ways and it comes out when I'm frustrated with the kids. I wish I could stop myself before these moments rise to the surface.
Where is this anger coming from? I can't blame it on my childhood. That's not it. It's something else.
Am I being hard on myself? And am I projecting the high expectations I have for myself on to my kids? Sometimes I hear Sophie sound sad because she thinks something she’s done isn't good enough. Where is THAT coming from?
Lately I can feel my whole body being tense at all times. I can feel this huge relief when I take off my shirt at night, like the chains of the day have been stripped.
I'd like to think it was the marathon or job related or something to do with CF. Maybe it's all of those. But I have to find some way to get in touch with this bottled...raw energy and release it somewhere else besides towards my family. Lord knows we have enough to deal with already.
Two weeks until the marathon.
Aloha
Saturday, November 29, 2003
Julie and the kids are making cookies in the kitchen so I thought I'd jump on here for a minute.
We ran that 10 mile recovery run this morning. I ran with Beth and Lucy doing a 3/1 the whole way. I wasn't sure if I'd even make it through the whole thing at that pace. Last night I didn't get much sleep, Sophie kept her knee in my back most of the night. Not that I blame her. Around 4 in the morning I moved to Jake's bed (because, hey, he isn't using it) and slept for another hour.
By the end of the 10 miles I was feeling pretty good. This cold I'm fighting has been knocking me back a little bit. I'm pretty worn out, now. Jules hasn't felt good all day. I took the kids to lunch and then had Sophie go with me while I shopped for Julie’s Christmas presents and bought a few things at the hardware store (those DAMN SPRINKLERS are the bane of my existence!!!).
Got the rest of the lights up as well so the outside of the Malchus home is very festive. Apparently Budd's neighborhood is connecting all houses with their lights. Strands of blinking colored lights will fill the neighborhood. I don't think we can top that. Of course, everyone over there in Stevenson Ranch is a little merrier since none of their homes burned down.
All in all it has been a really nice 4 day holiday weekend. Even with all of us fighting a virus, it's been just nice to be together. This really makes me look forward to Hawaii, when we won't have to worry about anything... well, not too much, anyway.
And, to cap things off, BG won their game and now play in the MAC championship game this coming Thursday. For those of you who aren't football fans, I'm sorry by boring you with Falcon pigskin updates.
Aloha.
We ran that 10 mile recovery run this morning. I ran with Beth and Lucy doing a 3/1 the whole way. I wasn't sure if I'd even make it through the whole thing at that pace. Last night I didn't get much sleep, Sophie kept her knee in my back most of the night. Not that I blame her. Around 4 in the morning I moved to Jake's bed (because, hey, he isn't using it) and slept for another hour.
By the end of the 10 miles I was feeling pretty good. This cold I'm fighting has been knocking me back a little bit. I'm pretty worn out, now. Jules hasn't felt good all day. I took the kids to lunch and then had Sophie go with me while I shopped for Julie’s Christmas presents and bought a few things at the hardware store (those DAMN SPRINKLERS are the bane of my existence!!!).
Got the rest of the lights up as well so the outside of the Malchus home is very festive. Apparently Budd's neighborhood is connecting all houses with their lights. Strands of blinking colored lights will fill the neighborhood. I don't think we can top that. Of course, everyone over there in Stevenson Ranch is a little merrier since none of their homes burned down.
All in all it has been a really nice 4 day holiday weekend. Even with all of us fighting a virus, it's been just nice to be together. This really makes me look forward to Hawaii, when we won't have to worry about anything... well, not too much, anyway.
And, to cap things off, BG won their game and now play in the MAC championship game this coming Thursday. For those of you who aren't football fans, I'm sorry by boring you with Falcon pigskin updates.
Aloha.
Friday, November 28, 2003
Somehow got on the bike this morning. We slept like logs after a wonderful Thanksgiving Day. The morning was spent watching the Macy's parade, and then we drove to Karyn's mother's home. That was about an hour drive. The rest of the day was spent with Karyn's family (The Gardners, The Christensens and Kathy Coyle.... their mom). I have to say that this was one of the nicest Thanksgivings we've had in a long time. Maybe it was the beers, I don't know. We got home late and crashed.
Today (after my morning ride through the ever-developing Valencia area...when WILL they have built enough houses anyway?... we made our way to Costco for some shopping. Julie bought my Christmas gifts (yes, I know what they are, we're not being too secretive this year since the bulk of our gifts to each other is the trip to Hawaii) and we ordered our Holiday cards. Somehow, we managed to get a great picture of our kids, you know, the two who don't like getting their pictures taken. For all of you who have made a donation, expect a nice picture of our cute kids in a nifty holiday card. Sophie also got her own copy of "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory." Personally, I think that's one of the sweetest films ever made. And that song in it ("Pure Imagination")... it's another one of those songs like "Puff the Magic Dragon" that just tugs at the heartstrings.
Today also found me putting up the lights on the outside of the house. I used to be a bit of a scrooge about decorating and celebrating the Holidays too early. Now, I think we all just need to have some of the cheer and hope a little earlier than usual. It's a cruel world out there. What's wrong with a few lights?
Tomorrow is the 10-mile recovery run. It's our second to last run as a big group until the Marathon. Hard to believe that everything goes down in 2 weeks. I was thinking today that once the marathon is over I won't be keeping this journal anymore. That in itself is strange. Writing this has become a big part of my daily life, just like the running.
I also plan to get new shoes tomorrow and hopefully get home in time to catch some of the BG-Toledo game.
That's all for tonight.
Aloha.
Today (after my morning ride through the ever-developing Valencia area...when WILL they have built enough houses anyway?... we made our way to Costco for some shopping. Julie bought my Christmas gifts (yes, I know what they are, we're not being too secretive this year since the bulk of our gifts to each other is the trip to Hawaii) and we ordered our Holiday cards. Somehow, we managed to get a great picture of our kids, you know, the two who don't like getting their pictures taken. For all of you who have made a donation, expect a nice picture of our cute kids in a nifty holiday card. Sophie also got her own copy of "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory." Personally, I think that's one of the sweetest films ever made. And that song in it ("Pure Imagination")... it's another one of those songs like "Puff the Magic Dragon" that just tugs at the heartstrings.
Today also found me putting up the lights on the outside of the house. I used to be a bit of a scrooge about decorating and celebrating the Holidays too early. Now, I think we all just need to have some of the cheer and hope a little earlier than usual. It's a cruel world out there. What's wrong with a few lights?
Tomorrow is the 10-mile recovery run. It's our second to last run as a big group until the Marathon. Hard to believe that everything goes down in 2 weeks. I was thinking today that once the marathon is over I won't be keeping this journal anymore. That in itself is strange. Writing this has become a big part of my daily life, just like the running.
I also plan to get new shoes tomorrow and hopefully get home in time to catch some of the BG-Toledo game.
That's all for tonight.
Aloha.
Wednesday, November 26, 2003
Ran this morning and it felt like I hadn't run since April. It was cold (I actually wore sweats) and windy. And my body was still.... STILL tired. As I went along for my brief 40 minute run, I was afraid that maybe I might have lost some of my strength since the 20 miler. What was I thinking? As if one 20-mile run could really exhaust you THAT much. Sheesh.
I don't know, maybe it can.
An....yway. By the time I was 10 minutes into the run I could feel a really nice stride. I mean, I felt some speed, man. I guess my fears were silly. I'm ready for this bad boy in a little over two weeks. I mean, I'll be ready then, I'm not ready today. You get what I mean.
This morning Sophie had a Thanksgiving feast at preschool that all of the parents were invited to. God, it was so awesome. I was welling up as she sang the song the whole class had learned. She was pretty excited that I was there. Is it strange to think that I feel so damn lucky because my daughter loves me so much? I hope she never stops loving me like this. Alas, I know that somewhere down the road, when she grows up, I won't be the most important man in her life anymore. I will treasure these days of childhood forever.
As soon as the class finished singing, Jacob ran up to Sophie (still in the front of the class with the rest of the students) and gave her a big hug. You have to understand, everyone in the class knows who Jacob is. In fact, the classroom is his when he's there. The kid just walks in like he should be there with the rest of them. What a little pooper. No really, the kid can take the smelliest poops... maybe I shouldn't get into that one.
We're looking forward to this four-day weekend. The Christmas decorations are going to go up and I'm getting new shoes in time for the marathon. I'm hoping that the new shoes will help alleviate the soreness in my legs. Plus, Bowling Green football is on ESPN again. This is the 3rd game this season. I've seen more BG games this year than I have in the past 10!
I don't think I'm going to run again until Saturday morning. I'll try some yoga and hit the bike on Friday. Next week I'll get back into my training routine.
That's all for now.
Aloha.
I don't know, maybe it can.
An....yway. By the time I was 10 minutes into the run I could feel a really nice stride. I mean, I felt some speed, man. I guess my fears were silly. I'm ready for this bad boy in a little over two weeks. I mean, I'll be ready then, I'm not ready today. You get what I mean.
This morning Sophie had a Thanksgiving feast at preschool that all of the parents were invited to. God, it was so awesome. I was welling up as she sang the song the whole class had learned. She was pretty excited that I was there. Is it strange to think that I feel so damn lucky because my daughter loves me so much? I hope she never stops loving me like this. Alas, I know that somewhere down the road, when she grows up, I won't be the most important man in her life anymore. I will treasure these days of childhood forever.
As soon as the class finished singing, Jacob ran up to Sophie (still in the front of the class with the rest of the students) and gave her a big hug. You have to understand, everyone in the class knows who Jacob is. In fact, the classroom is his when he's there. The kid just walks in like he should be there with the rest of them. What a little pooper. No really, the kid can take the smelliest poops... maybe I shouldn't get into that one.
We're looking forward to this four-day weekend. The Christmas decorations are going to go up and I'm getting new shoes in time for the marathon. I'm hoping that the new shoes will help alleviate the soreness in my legs. Plus, Bowling Green football is on ESPN again. This is the 3rd game this season. I've seen more BG games this year than I have in the past 10!
I don't think I'm going to run again until Saturday morning. I'll try some yoga and hit the bike on Friday. Next week I'll get back into my training routine.
That's all for now.
Aloha.
Tuesday, November 25, 2003
Did not run this morning. My body was telling me to take it easy one more day. Glad I did.
Last night we were singing and dancing to an old Peter, Paul and Mary recording of "Puff the Magic Dragon". On Saturday we went to a puppet show at the mall and Sophie fell in love with the song (it was integral to the puppet show). When I got home from work she wished she could hear the song again. Little did she know that I had one of my mom's old LP's buried among the hundreds I have in the office.
Ahh, remember LP's? There's nothing like them. I know that compact disc's are supposed to provide better sound quality (and, admittedly, they do). But there's a human element that's missing with cd's. I can listen to a cd and you can be thousands of miles away listening to your own copy of the same cd and we're having the same music experience. But with LP's.... man, they were a personal experience. The minute the needle hit the vinyl and that crackling began... it was a crackle that came from you playing the same songs over and over and over again.
To this day I can't listen to the Yes album "90125" on cd because I can still hear all of the skips and worn grooves from the LP I got back in the Christmas of '83. The second song on the first side (remember sides?), "Hold On", that New Year's Eve, I remember jamming on the drums with Bob Hasek and Thom Theiss and I was playing Budd's drums. And for some reason I really wanted to get that opening drum riff right, probably to impress those guys. And that was the night I scratched the record beyond repair. Oh, we tried. And the beginning of the song always sounded like we'd dragged the album on the sidewalk (Crrrkkkkkk-----lppppkkkkk!).
The other thing about Lp's was the way you explored the jacket cover and the liner notes while the record played. My parents’ basement was my fortress of solitude and I spent so many hours rocking back and forth in one of those broken yellow upholstered rocker/recliners reading the lyrics and touching the often raised textures of the LP jackets. You don't get that anymore.
Music was such an important part of my life. Those LP's marked me forever. To this day I can remember hearing the first notes of the one's that changed my life. The opening banjo riff from "The Rainbow Connection" from THE MUPPET MOVIE SOUNDTRACK (my first record); The piano beginning to "Don't Stop Believin' (Journey ESCAPE) and those drums the began "Owner of a Lonely Heart (from 90125). The scratchy ending of the fist side of Clapton's SLOWHAND, that put me to sleep my first semester of college. And the slamming snare of Max Weinberg on "The Ties That Bind" when I truly discovered Springsteen and THE RIVER changed my life.
Oh, I know you can have those moments with cd's. But there weren't remote controls. you had to physically get up and make the effort to play the song again. if I wanted to try and match Neil Peart tom-tom for tom-tom on "Red Barchetta", I had to get off the drum stool and play song two of MOVING PICTURES again and hope I got back to the set before the song began. LP's were a physical experience.
And of course, I stole some of my parents LP's, little did they realize. Mostly mom's stuff: Harry Belafonte's CALYPSO (featuring "Day-O); The soundtrack to THE STRING, and obviously, Peter, Paul and Mary's MOVIN'.
I've always loved the song "Puff the Magic Dragon". Something about the innocence in that song. It wasn't until I was in college and I'd placed it on a road tape as a joke that I realized how sad the song ends. And as Sophie sang and danced to it last night, I was getting welled up. She doesn't understand all of the lyrics. And I wish she could hold on to that wide-eyed innocence. I wish they both could. But someday... far away I hope, that innocence will be crushed. Something like Cystic Fibrosis and the reality of the disease will make them confront life and death.
But for now, I'm going to enjoy singing and dancing with these two angels in my life. I am a blessed man. I have a wife who is strong, forgiving and shows me more love than I feel I deserve. And I have these two children who bring me so much joy and challenge me every day. I have close friends and relatives who I trust my life with and who I know will protect my family.
Yes, I am a blessed man. A thankful man.
Aloha
Last night we were singing and dancing to an old Peter, Paul and Mary recording of "Puff the Magic Dragon". On Saturday we went to a puppet show at the mall and Sophie fell in love with the song (it was integral to the puppet show). When I got home from work she wished she could hear the song again. Little did she know that I had one of my mom's old LP's buried among the hundreds I have in the office.
Ahh, remember LP's? There's nothing like them. I know that compact disc's are supposed to provide better sound quality (and, admittedly, they do). But there's a human element that's missing with cd's. I can listen to a cd and you can be thousands of miles away listening to your own copy of the same cd and we're having the same music experience. But with LP's.... man, they were a personal experience. The minute the needle hit the vinyl and that crackling began... it was a crackle that came from you playing the same songs over and over and over again.
To this day I can't listen to the Yes album "90125" on cd because I can still hear all of the skips and worn grooves from the LP I got back in the Christmas of '83. The second song on the first side (remember sides?), "Hold On", that New Year's Eve, I remember jamming on the drums with Bob Hasek and Thom Theiss and I was playing Budd's drums. And for some reason I really wanted to get that opening drum riff right, probably to impress those guys. And that was the night I scratched the record beyond repair. Oh, we tried. And the beginning of the song always sounded like we'd dragged the album on the sidewalk (Crrrkkkkkk-----lppppkkkkk!).
The other thing about Lp's was the way you explored the jacket cover and the liner notes while the record played. My parents’ basement was my fortress of solitude and I spent so many hours rocking back and forth in one of those broken yellow upholstered rocker/recliners reading the lyrics and touching the often raised textures of the LP jackets. You don't get that anymore.
Music was such an important part of my life. Those LP's marked me forever. To this day I can remember hearing the first notes of the one's that changed my life. The opening banjo riff from "The Rainbow Connection" from THE MUPPET MOVIE SOUNDTRACK (my first record); The piano beginning to "Don't Stop Believin' (Journey ESCAPE) and those drums the began "Owner of a Lonely Heart (from 90125). The scratchy ending of the fist side of Clapton's SLOWHAND, that put me to sleep my first semester of college. And the slamming snare of Max Weinberg on "The Ties That Bind" when I truly discovered Springsteen and THE RIVER changed my life.
Oh, I know you can have those moments with cd's. But there weren't remote controls. you had to physically get up and make the effort to play the song again. if I wanted to try and match Neil Peart tom-tom for tom-tom on "Red Barchetta", I had to get off the drum stool and play song two of MOVING PICTURES again and hope I got back to the set before the song began. LP's were a physical experience.
And of course, I stole some of my parents LP's, little did they realize. Mostly mom's stuff: Harry Belafonte's CALYPSO (featuring "Day-O); The soundtrack to THE STRING, and obviously, Peter, Paul and Mary's MOVIN'.
I've always loved the song "Puff the Magic Dragon". Something about the innocence in that song. It wasn't until I was in college and I'd placed it on a road tape as a joke that I realized how sad the song ends. And as Sophie sang and danced to it last night, I was getting welled up. She doesn't understand all of the lyrics. And I wish she could hold on to that wide-eyed innocence. I wish they both could. But someday... far away I hope, that innocence will be crushed. Something like Cystic Fibrosis and the reality of the disease will make them confront life and death.
But for now, I'm going to enjoy singing and dancing with these two angels in my life. I am a blessed man. I have a wife who is strong, forgiving and shows me more love than I feel I deserve. And I have these two children who bring me so much joy and challenge me every day. I have close friends and relatives who I trust my life with and who I know will protect my family.
Yes, I am a blessed man. A thankful man.
Aloha
Monday, November 24, 2003
What can I say about running 20 miles?
Well, I started off strong. I can say that. It was the farthest I've run to date. Yes, I can say that as well. I can also say that my legs felt like they were going to fall off of my body. Or, I could say that I have no idea how I'm going to feel after 26 miles except that I will be relieved that it over. Yes. I know I can say that too.
But in the end, I found the strength to complete the run in just (and I mean JUST) under 4 hours. Actually, at the last turn, I checked my watch and I was at 3:58:47 and I found some kind of energy to get in there around 4:59:35. That is something I'm pretty happy about.
Throughout the run, I felt like this little group of four we've been running with stayed very strong together. The beginning of the run was a group of 6. Sebastian (the doctor), Tony (the realtor), Lillith (the former Olympian), Beth (my CF team partner), Lucy (the energizer bunny lawyer) and myself (the stubborn father of 2). Unfortunately, Beth is coming off of a foot injury and had to drop out around mile 12, and Lucy wasn't feeling well, so she stopped around mile 15 (?). The other four of us stayed together as a group for the rest of the run. That is, until we came to the last stretch of the run that takes us past the Rose Bowl.
I don't know if it's knowing that I'm safe and close to the end, or that I'm just satisfied that we're almost done, but whenever I get to this point in the long runs, I taper off. I don't mind everyone getting a minute ahead of me. That5, and the fact that my legs are so damn sore I don't know how I'll even walk, let alone run to the end.
But in the end, it comes down to wanting to just be DONE running. The idea of putting off the end any longer is SO unappealing, that suffering through another 5 minutes or so of running is far less torture. I am reminded of my youth when I went hiking in the Pennsylvania mountains with Dad and some Boy Scouts (and cousins Dave, Mark and John). On these hikes, near the end of the day my legs felt like they may fall off. I can honestly say that I haven't had that sort of pain since the last hike we did, right before I went into 8th grade.
Still, I feel confident about the Hawaii marathon. I know that the terrain will not be anything like what we've been training on. I mean, come one, we're running up a frickin mountain while we train! I expect Hawaii to be a little more level (although we have to run up Diamondhead twice). The other thing that will help push me in Hawaii (and all of us for that matter) is that we're in a race atmosphere. To have people cheering for you and pushing you along, that will definitely give me some extra juice.
On top of it all, I think it will be very inspirational to meet other Team CF members for other areas that are running the same marathon. (Didn't think I was going to work CF into this entry, did you now?)
That's them update on the running. We have a recovery run of 10 miles this Saturday (a nice way to work off the turkey) and 8 miles next week. Then... it's off to Hawaii where we'll step off planes and say...
Aloha.
Well, I started off strong. I can say that. It was the farthest I've run to date. Yes, I can say that as well. I can also say that my legs felt like they were going to fall off of my body. Or, I could say that I have no idea how I'm going to feel after 26 miles except that I will be relieved that it over. Yes. I know I can say that too.
But in the end, I found the strength to complete the run in just (and I mean JUST) under 4 hours. Actually, at the last turn, I checked my watch and I was at 3:58:47 and I found some kind of energy to get in there around 4:59:35. That is something I'm pretty happy about.
Throughout the run, I felt like this little group of four we've been running with stayed very strong together. The beginning of the run was a group of 6. Sebastian (the doctor), Tony (the realtor), Lillith (the former Olympian), Beth (my CF team partner), Lucy (the energizer bunny lawyer) and myself (the stubborn father of 2). Unfortunately, Beth is coming off of a foot injury and had to drop out around mile 12, and Lucy wasn't feeling well, so she stopped around mile 15 (?). The other four of us stayed together as a group for the rest of the run. That is, until we came to the last stretch of the run that takes us past the Rose Bowl.
I don't know if it's knowing that I'm safe and close to the end, or that I'm just satisfied that we're almost done, but whenever I get to this point in the long runs, I taper off. I don't mind everyone getting a minute ahead of me. That5, and the fact that my legs are so damn sore I don't know how I'll even walk, let alone run to the end.
But in the end, it comes down to wanting to just be DONE running. The idea of putting off the end any longer is SO unappealing, that suffering through another 5 minutes or so of running is far less torture. I am reminded of my youth when I went hiking in the Pennsylvania mountains with Dad and some Boy Scouts (and cousins Dave, Mark and John). On these hikes, near the end of the day my legs felt like they may fall off. I can honestly say that I haven't had that sort of pain since the last hike we did, right before I went into 8th grade.
Still, I feel confident about the Hawaii marathon. I know that the terrain will not be anything like what we've been training on. I mean, come one, we're running up a frickin mountain while we train! I expect Hawaii to be a little more level (although we have to run up Diamondhead twice). The other thing that will help push me in Hawaii (and all of us for that matter) is that we're in a race atmosphere. To have people cheering for you and pushing you along, that will definitely give me some extra juice.
On top of it all, I think it will be very inspirational to meet other Team CF members for other areas that are running the same marathon. (Didn't think I was going to work CF into this entry, did you now?)
That's them update on the running. We have a recovery run of 10 miles this Saturday (a nice way to work off the turkey) and 8 miles next week. Then... it's off to Hawaii where we'll step off planes and say...
Aloha.
Thursday, November 20, 2003
Ran that same route this morning and I think it went great. I figure it's about 6 miles and I did it in an hour and seven minutes. I feel great when I finish and I've felt good all day, too. I remember when I would get up at 5:30 and be exhausted all day from running two miles. I've come a long way.
I feel really confident about Saturday. Last week's long run went very well and I feel like if I start strong with a 5/2 and then possibly taper off as we progress, I should be able to conserve my energy. A lot will depend on the day. Whatever the weather is like that morning will more than likely have an effect on my early performance. I hope it doesn't take me much longer than 4 hours. I'd like to get home in time to see some of the Ohio State - Michigan game.
Jacob had an appointment with Dr. Frend, his pediatrician, yesterday. He put some of our worries at rest concerning the feeding tube. Dr. Frend felt that even though Jacob hasn't grown as much as some of the other doctors would like, he feels that Jacob is maintaining his own personal curve. I really like Dr. Frend. He has been a wonderful doctor for our family. His office is a bout a half hour away from us and we would probably switch doctors for Jake, except that he's been with us through everything and it doesn't seem right to switch for Jake just yet. For Sophie, we're going to have her records transferred to one of the local docs up here.
We're very excited that Sophie's going to have her picture taken at school tomorrow. The usually camera shy little Miss Malchus has been pretty excited to have her picture taken. I hope that nothing goes wrong.
Aloha
I feel really confident about Saturday. Last week's long run went very well and I feel like if I start strong with a 5/2 and then possibly taper off as we progress, I should be able to conserve my energy. A lot will depend on the day. Whatever the weather is like that morning will more than likely have an effect on my early performance. I hope it doesn't take me much longer than 4 hours. I'd like to get home in time to see some of the Ohio State - Michigan game.
Jacob had an appointment with Dr. Frend, his pediatrician, yesterday. He put some of our worries at rest concerning the feeding tube. Dr. Frend felt that even though Jacob hasn't grown as much as some of the other doctors would like, he feels that Jacob is maintaining his own personal curve. I really like Dr. Frend. He has been a wonderful doctor for our family. His office is a bout a half hour away from us and we would probably switch doctors for Jake, except that he's been with us through everything and it doesn't seem right to switch for Jake just yet. For Sophie, we're going to have her records transferred to one of the local docs up here.
We're very excited that Sophie's going to have her picture taken at school tomorrow. The usually camera shy little Miss Malchus has been pretty excited to have her picture taken. I hope that nothing goes wrong.
Aloha
Tuesday, November 18, 2003
Just got a call from Jules. Jacob had an appointment with his GI doctor this morning ands they're concerned that he isn't growing enough. He said that this happens with CF kids. They get on the enzymes and they don't want to eat all of the time. I'm sure being 2 also has something to do with it.
But the concern is that he isn't getting enough calories when he eats. The doctor brought up the option of a feeding tube that would be surgically inserted into his stomach. This is the second time they've brought up this method of getting him enough calories. But they want to wait until his next appointment in January before we discuss this any further.
Talk about taking some of the wind out of your sails. This news just deflated me. I could hear a bit of sadness in Jules' voice. I know she got teary eyed at the doctor's office. When I was on the phone with her I was starting to get choked up. How much more does he have to go through at his age? DAMN!
You know, I've been thinking about how we're going to survive the next year after our savings runs out. Jules still can't go back to work, not if Jake has to have procedures done and spend the night at the hospital.
I want to ask, "When are we going to get a break?" But that sounds so selfish, doesn't it? Jake's the one going through it physically. I dread... DREAD the day he begins to understand that he's different and begins to ask questions about his disease. I know that he is strong. But how strong will I be? How will I face the truth on THAT day?
The day started off so simple. I was running and feeling weightless for an hour. I was walking on air. Now my legs feel like blocks of cement and my shoulders are touching the floor.
Aloha
But the concern is that he isn't getting enough calories when he eats. The doctor brought up the option of a feeding tube that would be surgically inserted into his stomach. This is the second time they've brought up this method of getting him enough calories. But they want to wait until his next appointment in January before we discuss this any further.
Talk about taking some of the wind out of your sails. This news just deflated me. I could hear a bit of sadness in Jules' voice. I know she got teary eyed at the doctor's office. When I was on the phone with her I was starting to get choked up. How much more does he have to go through at his age? DAMN!
You know, I've been thinking about how we're going to survive the next year after our savings runs out. Jules still can't go back to work, not if Jake has to have procedures done and spend the night at the hospital.
I want to ask, "When are we going to get a break?" But that sounds so selfish, doesn't it? Jake's the one going through it physically. I dread... DREAD the day he begins to understand that he's different and begins to ask questions about his disease. I know that he is strong. But how strong will I be? How will I face the truth on THAT day?
The day started off so simple. I was running and feeling weightless for an hour. I was walking on air. Now my legs feel like blocks of cement and my shoulders are touching the floor.
Aloha
I made the commitment this morning to go for a long run. Having only run my long route once since I began training (and that was back in May), I decided that it was time to put in the miles in preparation for Saturday.
The long run consists of taking that Decoro hill route and combining it with my standard route that takes me down the bike path and around the neighborhood. Today, because the traffic lights weren't cooperating, I opted to begin my run in reverse, heading down Bouquet to the bike path and then tackling the hill in the end. This proved to be a smart decision.
I wound up running with traffic for m90% of the run. By not having to run against the crosswind of cars passing me, I was able to concentrate on my goal. I also decided to run at the 5/2 pace I've been doing on the Saturday long runs. This was also a good decision. My legs were strong enough that by the end I was able to switch to a 5/1 for the last couple miles.
I can't tell you how awesome I felt at the end of this run. I was even able to jog part of the way home.
My mind was clear for most of the run. I believe that I have been able to place the fundraising fears behind me completely and concentrate fully on just my running. Yesterday I also began writing out some scenes to a new script I want to begin writing within the next couple of weeks. While the material is a little darker (at least it was yesterday... more on that momentarily), I'm excited to have that itch to start writing about characters I find interesting. Like I mentioned, yesterday the story was very dark. And I was a little worried about that because I tend to write about subjects that have some sort of life affirming outcome.
And after I received a nice email from Denman yesterday, I was waffling on whether I should keep pursuing this story. But then this morning, by really letting my mind wander on the run, I decided that there are life-affirming elements about this story and the characters I want to write about. So now I'm really jazzed to pursue this new story.
Either that or the coffee I just downed is playing tricks on my mind.
We'll see where this story goes. I'm not sure how long it will take me to write the first draft, hopefully not as long as it is taking me to complete "East of Eden". My God! Could I read any slower?
Aloha
The long run consists of taking that Decoro hill route and combining it with my standard route that takes me down the bike path and around the neighborhood. Today, because the traffic lights weren't cooperating, I opted to begin my run in reverse, heading down Bouquet to the bike path and then tackling the hill in the end. This proved to be a smart decision.
I wound up running with traffic for m90% of the run. By not having to run against the crosswind of cars passing me, I was able to concentrate on my goal. I also decided to run at the 5/2 pace I've been doing on the Saturday long runs. This was also a good decision. My legs were strong enough that by the end I was able to switch to a 5/1 for the last couple miles.
I can't tell you how awesome I felt at the end of this run. I was even able to jog part of the way home.
My mind was clear for most of the run. I believe that I have been able to place the fundraising fears behind me completely and concentrate fully on just my running. Yesterday I also began writing out some scenes to a new script I want to begin writing within the next couple of weeks. While the material is a little darker (at least it was yesterday... more on that momentarily), I'm excited to have that itch to start writing about characters I find interesting. Like I mentioned, yesterday the story was very dark. And I was a little worried about that because I tend to write about subjects that have some sort of life affirming outcome.
And after I received a nice email from Denman yesterday, I was waffling on whether I should keep pursuing this story. But then this morning, by really letting my mind wander on the run, I decided that there are life-affirming elements about this story and the characters I want to write about. So now I'm really jazzed to pursue this new story.
Either that or the coffee I just downed is playing tricks on my mind.
We'll see where this story goes. I'm not sure how long it will take me to write the first draft, hopefully not as long as it is taking me to complete "East of Eden". My God! Could I read any slower?
Aloha
Monday, November 17, 2003
The weekend has come and gone.
On Saturday I ran a solid 10 miles with Sebastian and Tony, the two guys I've been running with (from City of Hope) the past month or so. It was an excellent pick me up after the past couple of weeks. Last week I was ready to pack it in. But getting out there for the morning with these guys really put my head back on straight and now I'm geared up to run the 20 miler this week.
When I told everyone about my attempt at 18 and the conditions I was running in they all said I was brave just for attempting it. Sure enough, Robert had only positive things to say and felt I would have no trouble with the long run this coming weekend. Let's hope he's right.
The rest of Saturday was spent cleaning and straightening up the house in preparation for Jacob's party. We were all well spent by the end of the day and collapsed into bed at about 10 pm.
I am feeling a lot better than I did last week. I think the effects of traveling really took its toll on me.
Yesterday was Jake's party. Boy, what a good time that was. Having all of those kids running around, screaming and playing was certainly a joyful experience. Jake understood that it was his birthday, all right. He loved the games that Jules and Karyn came up with and, yes, totally dug opening all of his gifts. By the end of the day his face was covered with cake, so much sugar it was disgusting and I think a couple layers of dirt.
After the party Budd and Karyn went to look at furniture and Vill and Heather took off for a while, leaving Max, Zach and Rebecca at out house. Boy, was that interesting. Actually, all of the kids played great together. It's really nice that they're all of an age where they can play and get along by themselves.
I didn't run this morning, though I toyed with the idea last night. But I opted to stick with the 2-day schedule that Robert suggested. I want my legs fresh for the long run this week.
It's a little freaky that the marathon is less than a month away. This 20 miler is our last long run before we taper off. Has it really been almost 6 months since I started this journal? What could I have possibly had to say over all of that time?
Wandered through a brand new Borders Books that opened down the block from work. There were numerous Christmas displays. I'm really looking forward to the holidays this year. I think that once you have children the winter holidays take on so much more meaning. What I would really love is for our Christmas to be more joyous and less melancholy.
Every year it's hard not to think about 2 years ago when we learned about Jake's illness. It was literally the day after we had set up our Christmas tree that year. That was a HARD day. Very hard.
I think this year will be better. We won't be getting a tree until after we return from Hawaii. And that week after we get back is going to be so crazed that I hope we'll be able to suppress the sad feelings. Not sure if suppress is the right word. I want to be able to acknowledge that the feelings are there... but I don't want them to consume us.
Aloha.
On Saturday I ran a solid 10 miles with Sebastian and Tony, the two guys I've been running with (from City of Hope) the past month or so. It was an excellent pick me up after the past couple of weeks. Last week I was ready to pack it in. But getting out there for the morning with these guys really put my head back on straight and now I'm geared up to run the 20 miler this week.
When I told everyone about my attempt at 18 and the conditions I was running in they all said I was brave just for attempting it. Sure enough, Robert had only positive things to say and felt I would have no trouble with the long run this coming weekend. Let's hope he's right.
The rest of Saturday was spent cleaning and straightening up the house in preparation for Jacob's party. We were all well spent by the end of the day and collapsed into bed at about 10 pm.
I am feeling a lot better than I did last week. I think the effects of traveling really took its toll on me.
Yesterday was Jake's party. Boy, what a good time that was. Having all of those kids running around, screaming and playing was certainly a joyful experience. Jake understood that it was his birthday, all right. He loved the games that Jules and Karyn came up with and, yes, totally dug opening all of his gifts. By the end of the day his face was covered with cake, so much sugar it was disgusting and I think a couple layers of dirt.
After the party Budd and Karyn went to look at furniture and Vill and Heather took off for a while, leaving Max, Zach and Rebecca at out house. Boy, was that interesting. Actually, all of the kids played great together. It's really nice that they're all of an age where they can play and get along by themselves.
I didn't run this morning, though I toyed with the idea last night. But I opted to stick with the 2-day schedule that Robert suggested. I want my legs fresh for the long run this week.
It's a little freaky that the marathon is less than a month away. This 20 miler is our last long run before we taper off. Has it really been almost 6 months since I started this journal? What could I have possibly had to say over all of that time?
Wandered through a brand new Borders Books that opened down the block from work. There were numerous Christmas displays. I'm really looking forward to the holidays this year. I think that once you have children the winter holidays take on so much more meaning. What I would really love is for our Christmas to be more joyous and less melancholy.
Every year it's hard not to think about 2 years ago when we learned about Jake's illness. It was literally the day after we had set up our Christmas tree that year. That was a HARD day. Very hard.
I think this year will be better. We won't be getting a tree until after we return from Hawaii. And that week after we get back is going to be so crazed that I hope we'll be able to suppress the sad feelings. Not sure if suppress is the right word. I want to be able to acknowledge that the feelings are there... but I don't want them to consume us.
Aloha.
Friday, November 14, 2003
Hard to believe it's been 2 years, but today is Jacob's birthday. What a fun morning we had. Last night Julie and I put together a Little Tykes car (the kind that he sits in and wheels himself around in) and we brought out his gifts. Sophie had chosen a Wiggle guitar that plays snippets of songs and various LOUD notes. Of course, he loves it. There was so much happiness in our home that it's easy to forget how insane it was when Jake was born.
Jules had been in the hospital for almost 2 weeks and I was driving all over LA between our (then) new home in Santa Clarita, Sophie's daycare in North Hollywood, my work in Hollywood and Julie at the hospital in Burbank. By the time Jake finally arrived, I was already exhausted!
He came to us early. Jake was originally due in December. But Julie was retaining too much amniotic fluid and they feared for her health. So her doctor placed her on bed rest. This was kind of tough for a couple weeks, but we all endured the hassle. As long as Mom and babe were safe, we could accommodate.
Notice I didn't say healthy.
No, Jake came to us with health issues. We all know what I'm talking about. But on that day we had no idea what the hell Cystic Fibrosis was. All I knew was that he had some blockage in his intestines, but that he should be okay.
You know, that whole weekend when he was born is a blur. We spent so much time in the hospital and then traveling to UCLA (where Jake was later transferred) that the whole chain of events sometimes gets out of whack. But it was one of those times when the entire family pulled together. It was the first of what has proven to be many times when Budd and Karyn, my folks and Julie's parents all stepped up and helped out without even the slightest "yelp" from Julie or me. We are a blessed family.
Cursed, a little but blessed a whole lot.
In the two years that Jake has been in our lives we have all grown so much. I think the person who has had to grow the most is Sophie. She's been there through every doctor’s appointment and every discovery. She's seen her mom go into the hospital, and then learned that her brother wouldn't be coming home as soon as expected. She has had to watch her baby brother go into the hospital on three occasions and has had to learn the general (kid friendly) facts about Cystic Fibrosis.
I sometimes worry for her. I sometimes worry what she will go through as she grows up and realizes what having CF means. It's bad enough to have to come to grips with the facts when it's your child but I can's imagine being a teenager and someone telling me Budd, Beth or Heidi may not...
I shouldn't go into this. Not on this day. Today is a celebration of his life. It's a celebration of his spirit and strength.
Laurie Anderson's "Superman" just came on over the computer. An eerie song. But Jacob is truly our little Superman.
I'm really looking forward to this weekend and having the party for Jacob on Sunday. I think he is grasping that this is his special day and all. I think he's learning what birthdays are all about.
As my own birthday was just a couple of weeks ago, I know that special feeling you get when it's "your" day. That's a feeling I want him to have his whole life, no matter what kind of obstacles he must overcome.
You know, that was truly one of the most remarkable days of our lives. When I held that little boy the first time I was instantly in love with him. I knew he was going to be special. Special not just because of his medical needs, but special in the way he was going to touch all of lives. And he really has.
I have seen sides of people (Budd, Beth and my dad) when they are with Jake that I rarely see (in public, anyway... I don’t know how they really act in private). I see optimism in their eyes... in their voices... their actions. Jacob does that to them. I think he allows them to hope. And we have to have hope. We have to.
You know, I've been listening to a lot of Rush (Canadian rock trio most famous for the song "Tom Sawyer') these past few weeks. I reconnected with their music back in 2001 right after the 9-11 attacks. Steve (who called last night... man I miss him) said it maid sense. He said that during times of tragedy you tend to latch on to comfort things... music, movies, etc. There was something about the lyrics in their songs that was, while at times grounded in realism, it did offer some words of hope. And when Jacob was born, I continued to listen to their songs.
Strange that I have come back to their music these past few weeks leading up to Jacob's birthday. It's as if I'm going through a ritual, preparing myself to celebrate this little guy’s life. And reminding myself, I guess, of how far we’ve come over the past two year... and how far we have to go to defeat CF.
There are days when I feel like there is no hope, when I feel like our lives are going to succumb to the pressures of trying to keep him healthy and trying to find the money to keep us going. There have been times when I wonder if a cure will ever be found. Those thoughts are fewer than before, but they come up.
But then a day like this rolls around. A special day to celebrate the LIFE of my son and the LIFE of our little family. And then I place aside those fears and doubts and hope comes back to me. Jacob's precious life reminds me of that hope. It gives me... it gives us all hope.
Happy Birthday Jacob Flynn.
Love,
Dad
Jules had been in the hospital for almost 2 weeks and I was driving all over LA between our (then) new home in Santa Clarita, Sophie's daycare in North Hollywood, my work in Hollywood and Julie at the hospital in Burbank. By the time Jake finally arrived, I was already exhausted!
He came to us early. Jake was originally due in December. But Julie was retaining too much amniotic fluid and they feared for her health. So her doctor placed her on bed rest. This was kind of tough for a couple weeks, but we all endured the hassle. As long as Mom and babe were safe, we could accommodate.
Notice I didn't say healthy.
No, Jake came to us with health issues. We all know what I'm talking about. But on that day we had no idea what the hell Cystic Fibrosis was. All I knew was that he had some blockage in his intestines, but that he should be okay.
You know, that whole weekend when he was born is a blur. We spent so much time in the hospital and then traveling to UCLA (where Jake was later transferred) that the whole chain of events sometimes gets out of whack. But it was one of those times when the entire family pulled together. It was the first of what has proven to be many times when Budd and Karyn, my folks and Julie's parents all stepped up and helped out without even the slightest "yelp" from Julie or me. We are a blessed family.
Cursed, a little but blessed a whole lot.
In the two years that Jake has been in our lives we have all grown so much. I think the person who has had to grow the most is Sophie. She's been there through every doctor’s appointment and every discovery. She's seen her mom go into the hospital, and then learned that her brother wouldn't be coming home as soon as expected. She has had to watch her baby brother go into the hospital on three occasions and has had to learn the general (kid friendly) facts about Cystic Fibrosis.
I sometimes worry for her. I sometimes worry what she will go through as she grows up and realizes what having CF means. It's bad enough to have to come to grips with the facts when it's your child but I can's imagine being a teenager and someone telling me Budd, Beth or Heidi may not...
I shouldn't go into this. Not on this day. Today is a celebration of his life. It's a celebration of his spirit and strength.
Laurie Anderson's "Superman" just came on over the computer. An eerie song. But Jacob is truly our little Superman.
I'm really looking forward to this weekend and having the party for Jacob on Sunday. I think he is grasping that this is his special day and all. I think he's learning what birthdays are all about.
As my own birthday was just a couple of weeks ago, I know that special feeling you get when it's "your" day. That's a feeling I want him to have his whole life, no matter what kind of obstacles he must overcome.
You know, that was truly one of the most remarkable days of our lives. When I held that little boy the first time I was instantly in love with him. I knew he was going to be special. Special not just because of his medical needs, but special in the way he was going to touch all of lives. And he really has.
I have seen sides of people (Budd, Beth and my dad) when they are with Jake that I rarely see (in public, anyway... I don’t know how they really act in private). I see optimism in their eyes... in their voices... their actions. Jacob does that to them. I think he allows them to hope. And we have to have hope. We have to.
You know, I've been listening to a lot of Rush (Canadian rock trio most famous for the song "Tom Sawyer') these past few weeks. I reconnected with their music back in 2001 right after the 9-11 attacks. Steve (who called last night... man I miss him) said it maid sense. He said that during times of tragedy you tend to latch on to comfort things... music, movies, etc. There was something about the lyrics in their songs that was, while at times grounded in realism, it did offer some words of hope. And when Jacob was born, I continued to listen to their songs.
Strange that I have come back to their music these past few weeks leading up to Jacob's birthday. It's as if I'm going through a ritual, preparing myself to celebrate this little guy’s life. And reminding myself, I guess, of how far we’ve come over the past two year... and how far we have to go to defeat CF.
There are days when I feel like there is no hope, when I feel like our lives are going to succumb to the pressures of trying to keep him healthy and trying to find the money to keep us going. There have been times when I wonder if a cure will ever be found. Those thoughts are fewer than before, but they come up.
But then a day like this rolls around. A special day to celebrate the LIFE of my son and the LIFE of our little family. And then I place aside those fears and doubts and hope comes back to me. Jacob's precious life reminds me of that hope. It gives me... it gives us all hope.
Happy Birthday Jacob Flynn.
Love,
Dad
Thursday, November 13, 2003
A rather uneventful day here in... well now what is Los Angeles' nickname? Cleveland has always been the Heartland to me. I can't think of one for LA besides Southern California. Not too exciting.
I did run this morning. Decided to take the Decoro hill again and test my luck. No pit stops this morning. I did, however, have to combat a load of self-doubt and the burden of stress. I can't believe the marathon is a month away. And today I was thinking... I can't wait until it's over.
The exhaustion and the dedication have been so hard at times. I'm not sure how I've been able to keep up with it. I'm pretty nervous because I haven't run over 10 miles in almost 4 weeks. Will my body be able to hold up?
Something tells me I'll be able to do it. Some deep reserve will kick in. It did in Bowling Green when I was finishing mile 7. I was contemplating stopping at 8, but my inner "don't be a pansy" voice spoke up. Actually, it was that voice that chimes in... "If you think your pain is bad, think about all of the people with CF and what they're going through."
Yeah, that voice. I would have done the 18 that night if my legs hadn’t frozen up on me. I felt like my legs would freeze again this morning. Man, it's getting cold out there in the mornings. It doesn't help that I'm fighting some kind of bug. Sophie is fighting it, too. She threw up last night and felt warm this morning.
I am really tired. I've been getting plenty of sleep. Maybe the Ohio trip is just lagging along and dragging me down.
Tomorrow is Jacob's birthday. I'm so excited for that little guy. I don't think he really gets it yet. Hard to believe that the hell we went through was just 2 years ago. That time has flown by. Sophie was still 2 then, now Jacob is turning that age.
I have to say this about the fundraising, it has been a truly eye opening experience. I never would have believed that I would get the amount of support from everyone.
I am very proud to say that we've raised $10,000! (and counting). As tomorrow is exactly one month from the marathon, I'm going to give it a rest for that month. Those people who are going to still send a donation are going to do it. And those who are just thinking about it probably will not. But I am proud that so many fine people chipped in.
Aloha.
I did run this morning. Decided to take the Decoro hill again and test my luck. No pit stops this morning. I did, however, have to combat a load of self-doubt and the burden of stress. I can't believe the marathon is a month away. And today I was thinking... I can't wait until it's over.
The exhaustion and the dedication have been so hard at times. I'm not sure how I've been able to keep up with it. I'm pretty nervous because I haven't run over 10 miles in almost 4 weeks. Will my body be able to hold up?
Something tells me I'll be able to do it. Some deep reserve will kick in. It did in Bowling Green when I was finishing mile 7. I was contemplating stopping at 8, but my inner "don't be a pansy" voice spoke up. Actually, it was that voice that chimes in... "If you think your pain is bad, think about all of the people with CF and what they're going through."
Yeah, that voice. I would have done the 18 that night if my legs hadn’t frozen up on me. I felt like my legs would freeze again this morning. Man, it's getting cold out there in the mornings. It doesn't help that I'm fighting some kind of bug. Sophie is fighting it, too. She threw up last night and felt warm this morning.
I am really tired. I've been getting plenty of sleep. Maybe the Ohio trip is just lagging along and dragging me down.
Tomorrow is Jacob's birthday. I'm so excited for that little guy. I don't think he really gets it yet. Hard to believe that the hell we went through was just 2 years ago. That time has flown by. Sophie was still 2 then, now Jacob is turning that age.
I have to say this about the fundraising, it has been a truly eye opening experience. I never would have believed that I would get the amount of support from everyone.
I am very proud to say that we've raised $10,000! (and counting). As tomorrow is exactly one month from the marathon, I'm going to give it a rest for that month. Those people who are going to still send a donation are going to do it. And those who are just thinking about it probably will not. But I am proud that so many fine people chipped in.
Aloha.
Tuesday, November 11, 2003
This morning's run was cut short because I thought my bowels were going to explode. That's putting it nicely. I came down the Decoro hill and suddenly everything began cramping up. Now, I'm not talking about some simple discomfort. I'm talking about, "if I don’t make it to the john RIGHT NOW, things arte going to get, er, messy.
Part of the joy of running is the freeness you feel when you're so in tune with your body and every muscle is performing in unison. You can glide across the pavement or the grass like you're and elk or a gazelle, or hell, a fast moving elephant. But when one small thing isn't in tune, whoa baby, look out.
See, I wasn't ANYWHERE close to a bathroom. Seriously now, this was one of those moments I wasn't sure how I was going to get home! I must have been 3 miles from the house. And I couldn't run anymore. Oh, no, that would have caused even more trouble.
I once read about a runner who crossed the finish line of a marathon covered with her own.... you get the picture. I prayed I'd never experience something like that. Luckily I didn't. No, I was lucky enough to find an inconspicuous wooded area off the beaten path that I had to bolt in order to save a little bit of humility.
Unfortunately, I learned an important lesson. That tissue you're supposed to bring along may not always be for wiping your nose. It may be for one of these unforeseen moments when the only leaves around are the size of your thumb and to make some sort of ... tissue?... would require hours of weaving skills.
I had neither the time nor the weaving skills. I had to walk the remaining three miles home, tenderly, with a chill from the sweat on my back (and brow).
I know this wasn't the most... respectable entry. I mean, I almost became Jeff Daniels in "Dumb and Dumber". Still, I want everyone to know what I'm going through. It's not all fun and games.
Sometimes running can just be crappy.
Aloha.
Part of the joy of running is the freeness you feel when you're so in tune with your body and every muscle is performing in unison. You can glide across the pavement or the grass like you're and elk or a gazelle, or hell, a fast moving elephant. But when one small thing isn't in tune, whoa baby, look out.
See, I wasn't ANYWHERE close to a bathroom. Seriously now, this was one of those moments I wasn't sure how I was going to get home! I must have been 3 miles from the house. And I couldn't run anymore. Oh, no, that would have caused even more trouble.
I once read about a runner who crossed the finish line of a marathon covered with her own.... you get the picture. I prayed I'd never experience something like that. Luckily I didn't. No, I was lucky enough to find an inconspicuous wooded area off the beaten path that I had to bolt in order to save a little bit of humility.
Unfortunately, I learned an important lesson. That tissue you're supposed to bring along may not always be for wiping your nose. It may be for one of these unforeseen moments when the only leaves around are the size of your thumb and to make some sort of ... tissue?... would require hours of weaving skills.
I had neither the time nor the weaving skills. I had to walk the remaining three miles home, tenderly, with a chill from the sweat on my back (and brow).
I know this wasn't the most... respectable entry. I mean, I almost became Jeff Daniels in "Dumb and Dumber". Still, I want everyone to know what I'm going through. It's not all fun and games.
Sometimes running can just be crappy.
Aloha.
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