Ran this morning and it felt very good. By the end I was feeling like I did before we left for Ohio. I have found my stride again. Met with Rebecca last night to discuss ways to try and get some more runners for the Malibu race. She wants to have a team of 10 running and raising money. I'd like to get that up to 15. But that's me, trying to push it.
Work was very stressful today and the combination of running this morning, staying up late to watch a John Landis directed documentary, and putting in a good 8 hours has whipped me. I just have to wash the nebulizers and boil them. Oh, and I have to avoid watching "The Age of Innocence" and getting sucked in. I love that movie. Scorsese rules.
What a ridiculous thing for a grown man to say. He "rules". Right on, dude!
Oh, and I have to pass along that Jake is fast becoming a pro on the potty. He now uses his little kitty potty most of the time (while sitting in the living room watching Scooby Doo, no less). He wears underwear most of the time. Someday he will read this and say, "Dad, why did you have to write that?" And of course, I'll say, "Because you RULE, dude."
Sad. I am very, very sad.
Aloha
Wednesday, June 30, 2004
Monday, June 28, 2004
The weekend was great, but hotter than hell, top say the least. I ran 10 miles on Saturday morning and I swear it was almost as hard as some of our longer runs last fall. Not that I'm in that type of shape again, but the last couple miles were tough. Nothing compared to my awesome run last week.
I blame the heat. By mile 6 I was feeling it in my legs. And my feet were starting to get hot. I am not sure how to remedy this problem. And it concerns me because there's no way to control how hot the pavement is going to be come race time.
I corresponded with my old friend Beth (from the Honolulu race). She ran the San Fran half marathon last year and says it was very hilly. Did I mention this already? If so, disregard the info. That's what you get for not writing every day. You lose track of you facts and so called insights.
I'm not too concerned about the hills. The pace I ran on Saturday was anything but top form. But Jules brought up a good point.... it's going to August and it will be hot. This may determine whether I run the first half or the second half of the marathon. Maybe the 1st would be better. At least I could avoid some of the heat, and we could get on the road sooner to get home.
Isn't that ridiculous. I'm training to run 13 miles and I'm more concerned at this point about when we get on the road to avoid traffic than I am about my performance.
The heat really wore me out the rest of Saturday. I mean, I was whipped. We went to the Santa Clarita Aquatic center and the kids played in this wonderful wading pool/ slide area. It was the perfect way to spend an afternoon out of the heat.
We received great news today that Jake's throat culture for pseudomonas came back negative. This is wonderful. Of course, now we're worried because he's taking swimming lessons and pools are a breeding ground for the bacteria. Have to very careful.
Tomorrow I have a meeting with Rebecca about the marathon. Not sure what we'll talk about. I hope we can come up with new ways to promote the donation process. My good friend Wes Stevens feels we should find a way to mimic what Aids Project LA does in which you can go to their website and donate immediately (upon receiving an email). Participants can also monitor their totals as their donations come in.
I believe this is a great idea. We just have to work out the logistics.
I ran this morning. Even though I was not into it, by the end of the 30 minutes I was glad I got out of bed to do the run. I will definitely ride the bike and do some yoga on the Fridays before my big runs. I definitely feel that not doing this cross training last week affected my performance on Saturday.
That's enough for now.
Aloha.
I blame the heat. By mile 6 I was feeling it in my legs. And my feet were starting to get hot. I am not sure how to remedy this problem. And it concerns me because there's no way to control how hot the pavement is going to be come race time.
I corresponded with my old friend Beth (from the Honolulu race). She ran the San Fran half marathon last year and says it was very hilly. Did I mention this already? If so, disregard the info. That's what you get for not writing every day. You lose track of you facts and so called insights.
I'm not too concerned about the hills. The pace I ran on Saturday was anything but top form. But Jules brought up a good point.... it's going to August and it will be hot. This may determine whether I run the first half or the second half of the marathon. Maybe the 1st would be better. At least I could avoid some of the heat, and we could get on the road sooner to get home.
Isn't that ridiculous. I'm training to run 13 miles and I'm more concerned at this point about when we get on the road to avoid traffic than I am about my performance.
The heat really wore me out the rest of Saturday. I mean, I was whipped. We went to the Santa Clarita Aquatic center and the kids played in this wonderful wading pool/ slide area. It was the perfect way to spend an afternoon out of the heat.
We received great news today that Jake's throat culture for pseudomonas came back negative. This is wonderful. Of course, now we're worried because he's taking swimming lessons and pools are a breeding ground for the bacteria. Have to very careful.
Tomorrow I have a meeting with Rebecca about the marathon. Not sure what we'll talk about. I hope we can come up with new ways to promote the donation process. My good friend Wes Stevens feels we should find a way to mimic what Aids Project LA does in which you can go to their website and donate immediately (upon receiving an email). Participants can also monitor their totals as their donations come in.
I believe this is a great idea. We just have to work out the logistics.
I ran this morning. Even though I was not into it, by the end of the 30 minutes I was glad I got out of bed to do the run. I will definitely ride the bike and do some yoga on the Fridays before my big runs. I definitely feel that not doing this cross training last week affected my performance on Saturday.
That's enough for now.
Aloha.
Wednesday, June 23, 2004
I have to say, some of my better ideas come to me late. Better late than never, though. I went out and purchase a knee support last night for my troublesome right knee. On my run this morning I couldn't really concentrate on what I was supposed to be accomplishing. I believe you could call it a junk run. I was so concerned about whether the knee support would do any good that I was distracted.
By the end of the day, I was full of energy, looking forward to tomorrow's run and I'm glad to report that the knee feels good. That is the most positive thing to happen in my training in the past month.
I must admit, I am a little nervous that my body will not permit me to complete the marathon this year. I am full of fears about the future of my legs. I hear of so many people having to have surgery on their knees, even having them replaced. I know from Julie's mom's experience that knee replacement is VERY painful. And the thought of not being able to run and use the marathon as a fund raising method really got me depressed yesterday.
I look at Julie an all that she does for Jacob during the day. She gives him all of his treatments and takes him to all of his doctor appointments. True, I have to work. But at least with the marathon I feel as if I am contributing to the battle. I know there will be other fund raising activities. But this one... the challenge of running 26 miles... and using that to inspire people to contribute... that is thrilling to me. And it makes me feel like I'm out there making a difference.
Perhaps this is too egocentric of me. But when I feel the aches and pains from along run I feel as if I can go on and face another day without breaking down and crying over Jake's CF. Believe me, there are so many days when I'm driving to work and I get that pain in my sinuses.... and I can feel the tears welling up. But I can control that when I think... I'm doing something.
I'm putting myself through this ordeal and I'm making a difference. We can win this battle... if only my legs hold up.
I need to run. I need the marathon. It gives me something to strive for. And it gives me hope. Hope in my friends and family. Hope in my fellow man. And hope that we're going to beat this disease.
Aloha.
By the end of the day, I was full of energy, looking forward to tomorrow's run and I'm glad to report that the knee feels good. That is the most positive thing to happen in my training in the past month.
I must admit, I am a little nervous that my body will not permit me to complete the marathon this year. I am full of fears about the future of my legs. I hear of so many people having to have surgery on their knees, even having them replaced. I know from Julie's mom's experience that knee replacement is VERY painful. And the thought of not being able to run and use the marathon as a fund raising method really got me depressed yesterday.
I look at Julie an all that she does for Jacob during the day. She gives him all of his treatments and takes him to all of his doctor appointments. True, I have to work. But at least with the marathon I feel as if I am contributing to the battle. I know there will be other fund raising activities. But this one... the challenge of running 26 miles... and using that to inspire people to contribute... that is thrilling to me. And it makes me feel like I'm out there making a difference.
Perhaps this is too egocentric of me. But when I feel the aches and pains from along run I feel as if I can go on and face another day without breaking down and crying over Jake's CF. Believe me, there are so many days when I'm driving to work and I get that pain in my sinuses.... and I can feel the tears welling up. But I can control that when I think... I'm doing something.
I'm putting myself through this ordeal and I'm making a difference. We can win this battle... if only my legs hold up.
I need to run. I need the marathon. It gives me something to strive for. And it gives me hope. Hope in my friends and family. Hope in my fellow man. And hope that we're going to beat this disease.
Aloha.
Monday, June 21, 2004
It's Monday. The past weekend was great. On Saturday I ran 9 miles and felt very strong. By the end I was able to increase to a 6/1 running ration. There's nothing better to get you running faster than having to get home so your wife can leave for a facial. Still, I felt great after the run.
The rest of the day was spent doing yard work. Nothing exciting.
Yesterday was Father's Day. It was a wonderful day. Julie let me act like a lounge lizard most of the morning and treated us to an awesome pancake breakfast, with some eggs and bacon on the side. Whew. I stuffed my face.
We went to Budd and Karyn's for dinner and spent some time in the pool. That really did my aching legs some good.
This morning I got up and ran for 40 minutes. My legs were tired, as usual on a Monday. I'm starting to get a little concerned about my right knee, the one I had operated on 20 years ago. There's some definite clicking going on. Clicking is bad. Real bad. I don't think there's any question that this will probably be my last marathon. I guess two should be enough in a lifetime.
This was a big day for the kids. Sophie began gymnastics and Swimming classes. I'm was a little concerned how she would do. We tried her in dance classes and swimming lessons in years past. But today, Soph did great. She's really starting to grow up. I'm always sad when I think about how fast she's growing up and how little time we seem to get to play together. I would hate to look back on her childhood with regret. I probably will anyway. The only thing that would make me a complete parent, in my mind, would be for me to get to stay home all of the time. Of course, we know that's not going to happen any time soon.
Jake had a CF appointment today and guess what: He's gained weight! And he grew 4 cm. He's actually in the 5th percentile now! That's really exciting. All of the medicines seem to be working. That news made my day.
It's been a gloomy June Monday for the most part, so that positive news about Jake is about all I needed to get me through the rest of the day.
Work has been busy, for a change. Finding time to write is going to be challenging. Alas, once I send my next letter out I will have to keep it up. I look forward to that challenge.
That's all for now..
Aloha.
The rest of the day was spent doing yard work. Nothing exciting.
Yesterday was Father's Day. It was a wonderful day. Julie let me act like a lounge lizard most of the morning and treated us to an awesome pancake breakfast, with some eggs and bacon on the side. Whew. I stuffed my face.
We went to Budd and Karyn's for dinner and spent some time in the pool. That really did my aching legs some good.
This morning I got up and ran for 40 minutes. My legs were tired, as usual on a Monday. I'm starting to get a little concerned about my right knee, the one I had operated on 20 years ago. There's some definite clicking going on. Clicking is bad. Real bad. I don't think there's any question that this will probably be my last marathon. I guess two should be enough in a lifetime.
This was a big day for the kids. Sophie began gymnastics and Swimming classes. I'm was a little concerned how she would do. We tried her in dance classes and swimming lessons in years past. But today, Soph did great. She's really starting to grow up. I'm always sad when I think about how fast she's growing up and how little time we seem to get to play together. I would hate to look back on her childhood with regret. I probably will anyway. The only thing that would make me a complete parent, in my mind, would be for me to get to stay home all of the time. Of course, we know that's not going to happen any time soon.
Jake had a CF appointment today and guess what: He's gained weight! And he grew 4 cm. He's actually in the 5th percentile now! That's really exciting. All of the medicines seem to be working. That news made my day.
It's been a gloomy June Monday for the most part, so that positive news about Jake is about all I needed to get me through the rest of the day.
Work has been busy, for a change. Finding time to write is going to be challenging. Alas, once I send my next letter out I will have to keep it up. I look forward to that challenge.
That's all for now..
Aloha.
Thursday, June 17, 2004
I feel like I finally have my head back together after returning from our Cleveland vacation. Although I ran a couple of times in Ohio (including an 8 mile run the day after we arrived!), I slacked off by Wednesday and wound up consuming mass quantities of beer and meat. My God, it seems like every meal has some kind of meat portion included when you sit down back there. Not that I’m complaining, but it starts to feel like the Python Spam sketch after awhile.
Our trip was excellent. I feel like each time we take a family vacation, it keeps getting better. We arrived on a Saturday without a hitch and quickly settled in to the Ohio vacation routine. Jacob was SO excited to see his cousin JF, he would run around the house calling out his name, “Gey-Eff!!” And JF was so patient with Jake. It was wonderful seeing them play together. Sophie LOVES being with her grandparents in Ohio and playing with JF and his sister, Gretchen. And all of the kids got along so well.
Highlights of the trip included a day at the movies seeing “Shrek 2” again and immediately heading on over to Chuck E. Cheese’s for pizza and video games. Beth and Zyg came up on Thursday and had dinner. I felt like that was a good night. It’s strange how Beth has settled into becoming a part of the extended Flynn family. All of the kids go off and play and because she knows everyone so well (I guess it has been 11 years), she just eases into hanging out with everyone.
I really admire Beth. She’s become very political and standing up for her beliefs. She and I think along the same lines of the political spectrum, although she may be a tad bit more liberal than I am. Good for her, though. We grew up in a semi-conservative family in which I was never really sure what my parents stood for. All four of us Malchus kids had to figure that stuff out on our own.
Speaking of politics, on that same day I had breakfast with Jan Denman, my high school senior English teacher, and an old friend. I haven’t seen Jan in a couple of years, though we have dropped each other emails throughout those past two years. It’s always a pleasure to just hang out with Jan. He had a profound influence on my life and to call this man my friend is seriously an honor. Jan taught me quite a bit about thinking for myself and about writing from the heart and not always worrying about the mechanics. In a lifetime, you probably can only call a few people mentors. To me, Jan will always be one of my mentors. I gave him a copy of “King’s Highway”. I hope it plays on his DVD player; otherwise he’ll have to wait for the release later this year.
Got to see Bob on several occasions. We hung out on his sister’s boat one night, and then he had a party that last Friday we were in town. Brian and Dan were both at the party. Dan and his wife, Jodi, also brought their precious daughter with them. I was pretty excited about seeing Brian. I haven’t spoken to him in some time. I was amazed when he brought up the blog and how often he read it.
It’s a tad intimidating hearing feedback about the blog. I tend to get self-conscious when I think about folks reading this thing. Still, I supposed to be a writer. I want people to read it. Duh!
Also at the party was a guy who co-starred in my senior film at Bowling Green. His name is Todd Meany and he’s a reporter for one of the networks in Cleveland. That was both exciting and a bit surreal. I haven’t spoken to this guy since the last month I attended BG. Isn’t it a trip when you get reacquainted with someone like that from your past? I believe I’ve detailed such encounters from last year in this very blog. Todd is very successful, and I was, I don’t know, somewhat envious of him and the success he has had. I have a difficult time promoting myself lately. I feel like I’ve been talking about “King’s Highway” for years… oh, wait, it has been years. I feel like people are hearing the same damn stories about the movie. So when I start to tell someone new about everything, my enthusiasm is a little bit lacking.
Have to work on that.
Saw Aunt Dorty and Uncle Ben and received a new Indian’s cap from them. It’s pretty stylin’ with the retro “C” from the 70’s teams (you know, when they were really dreadful). I think this is such an abbreviated rundown of our trip; it must not sound all that exciting.
I will say this: I really felt at peace on this particular vacation. I wasn’t restless to be somewhere and I felt like I had a lot of patience with the kids. That has not always been the case. In trips of past, I was a bit selfish about wanting time to myself and trying to push the kids off on their grandparents and cousins. I know, what a lousy father.
But it’s like I’m seeing them grow up so fast now. And as quickly as they are maturing, I am realizing that my time with them is running out. Soon, they’re not going to want anything to do with their cranky old man who will be barely able to walk. That breaks my heart. It’s bittersweet watching your children get older. You’re excited about them growing as human beings, but they leave behind those precious bits of childhood that are so special. The day that Jacob finally stops calling Sophie “Wo-wo” and calls her “Sophie” will be very sad (and I fear that day is close).
After returning home, I’ve returned to my running schedule. I’ve decided to move up to a 5/1 running pace. We’ll see how it goes.
That’s all for now.
Aloha.
Our trip was excellent. I feel like each time we take a family vacation, it keeps getting better. We arrived on a Saturday without a hitch and quickly settled in to the Ohio vacation routine. Jacob was SO excited to see his cousin JF, he would run around the house calling out his name, “Gey-Eff!!” And JF was so patient with Jake. It was wonderful seeing them play together. Sophie LOVES being with her grandparents in Ohio and playing with JF and his sister, Gretchen. And all of the kids got along so well.
Highlights of the trip included a day at the movies seeing “Shrek 2” again and immediately heading on over to Chuck E. Cheese’s for pizza and video games. Beth and Zyg came up on Thursday and had dinner. I felt like that was a good night. It’s strange how Beth has settled into becoming a part of the extended Flynn family. All of the kids go off and play and because she knows everyone so well (I guess it has been 11 years), she just eases into hanging out with everyone.
I really admire Beth. She’s become very political and standing up for her beliefs. She and I think along the same lines of the political spectrum, although she may be a tad bit more liberal than I am. Good for her, though. We grew up in a semi-conservative family in which I was never really sure what my parents stood for. All four of us Malchus kids had to figure that stuff out on our own.
Speaking of politics, on that same day I had breakfast with Jan Denman, my high school senior English teacher, and an old friend. I haven’t seen Jan in a couple of years, though we have dropped each other emails throughout those past two years. It’s always a pleasure to just hang out with Jan. He had a profound influence on my life and to call this man my friend is seriously an honor. Jan taught me quite a bit about thinking for myself and about writing from the heart and not always worrying about the mechanics. In a lifetime, you probably can only call a few people mentors. To me, Jan will always be one of my mentors. I gave him a copy of “King’s Highway”. I hope it plays on his DVD player; otherwise he’ll have to wait for the release later this year.
Got to see Bob on several occasions. We hung out on his sister’s boat one night, and then he had a party that last Friday we were in town. Brian and Dan were both at the party. Dan and his wife, Jodi, also brought their precious daughter with them. I was pretty excited about seeing Brian. I haven’t spoken to him in some time. I was amazed when he brought up the blog and how often he read it.
It’s a tad intimidating hearing feedback about the blog. I tend to get self-conscious when I think about folks reading this thing. Still, I supposed to be a writer. I want people to read it. Duh!
Also at the party was a guy who co-starred in my senior film at Bowling Green. His name is Todd Meany and he’s a reporter for one of the networks in Cleveland. That was both exciting and a bit surreal. I haven’t spoken to this guy since the last month I attended BG. Isn’t it a trip when you get reacquainted with someone like that from your past? I believe I’ve detailed such encounters from last year in this very blog. Todd is very successful, and I was, I don’t know, somewhat envious of him and the success he has had. I have a difficult time promoting myself lately. I feel like I’ve been talking about “King’s Highway” for years… oh, wait, it has been years. I feel like people are hearing the same damn stories about the movie. So when I start to tell someone new about everything, my enthusiasm is a little bit lacking.
Have to work on that.
Saw Aunt Dorty and Uncle Ben and received a new Indian’s cap from them. It’s pretty stylin’ with the retro “C” from the 70’s teams (you know, when they were really dreadful). I think this is such an abbreviated rundown of our trip; it must not sound all that exciting.
I will say this: I really felt at peace on this particular vacation. I wasn’t restless to be somewhere and I felt like I had a lot of patience with the kids. That has not always been the case. In trips of past, I was a bit selfish about wanting time to myself and trying to push the kids off on their grandparents and cousins. I know, what a lousy father.
But it’s like I’m seeing them grow up so fast now. And as quickly as they are maturing, I am realizing that my time with them is running out. Soon, they’re not going to want anything to do with their cranky old man who will be barely able to walk. That breaks my heart. It’s bittersweet watching your children get older. You’re excited about them growing as human beings, but they leave behind those precious bits of childhood that are so special. The day that Jacob finally stops calling Sophie “Wo-wo” and calls her “Sophie” will be very sad (and I fear that day is close).
After returning home, I’ve returned to my running schedule. I’ve decided to move up to a 5/1 running pace. We’ll see how it goes.
That’s all for now.
Aloha.
Thursday, June 03, 2004
It's the night before Sophie's Pre-School graduation. I can't believe there is even a ceremony for pre-school graduation, but we're very excited and so proud of her. She's growing up much too fast.
After that, we begin packing for our trip back to Ohio. I'm really looking forward to getting out of here for a week. It will be nice to hang out with Julie's family.
I have been running off the schedule I made up and following it very closely. I ran on Monday and yesterday. I chose to skip today and run tomorrow, instead, because I will be doing my long run on Sunday in Ohio. I've done Yoga on my off days and that has really been helpful.
Still, I am having some problems with my right knee. A couple of weeks ago I tweaked it after a long run. Now, it hurts to sit on my heels and have it bend in that degree. Of course, being a hypochondriac, I am scared that I have messed up something from the surgery I had on that knee....20 years ago! No wonder Julie thinks I'm a nut.
While I'm in Ohio I plan to start putting together the letter I'm going to send out this year. I have a pretty hefty task in front of me in trying to raise 13 grand. Maybe that number is too steep. I'm not sure right now. The economy is so unstable right now. I mean, who has any money to spare these days. I know that we don't.
God, I worry so much about money lately. Somehow we manage to get by and live comfortably. But for how much longer? It scares the shit out of me to think of not having enough money to cover our bills. Maybe "King's Highway" will become a huge seller once we complete the sound remixing.
Oh yeah, we found a distributor for the movie and we're in the process of remixing most of the post production sound for delivery purposes. I'm pretty excited about it. We all are.
On a sad note, our good friend Vill is back in Toledo. His father is seriously ill and they're unsure how much longer he may have to live. We he first found out about his father's condition, Vill was reasonably upset. I'm not sure how close the two of them are, but I know it must be hard. Our prayer are with him and his family.
I run tomorrow.
Aloha
After that, we begin packing for our trip back to Ohio. I'm really looking forward to getting out of here for a week. It will be nice to hang out with Julie's family.
I have been running off the schedule I made up and following it very closely. I ran on Monday and yesterday. I chose to skip today and run tomorrow, instead, because I will be doing my long run on Sunday in Ohio. I've done Yoga on my off days and that has really been helpful.
Still, I am having some problems with my right knee. A couple of weeks ago I tweaked it after a long run. Now, it hurts to sit on my heels and have it bend in that degree. Of course, being a hypochondriac, I am scared that I have messed up something from the surgery I had on that knee....20 years ago! No wonder Julie thinks I'm a nut.
While I'm in Ohio I plan to start putting together the letter I'm going to send out this year. I have a pretty hefty task in front of me in trying to raise 13 grand. Maybe that number is too steep. I'm not sure right now. The economy is so unstable right now. I mean, who has any money to spare these days. I know that we don't.
God, I worry so much about money lately. Somehow we manage to get by and live comfortably. But for how much longer? It scares the shit out of me to think of not having enough money to cover our bills. Maybe "King's Highway" will become a huge seller once we complete the sound remixing.
Oh yeah, we found a distributor for the movie and we're in the process of remixing most of the post production sound for delivery purposes. I'm pretty excited about it. We all are.
On a sad note, our good friend Vill is back in Toledo. His father is seriously ill and they're unsure how much longer he may have to live. We he first found out about his father's condition, Vill was reasonably upset. I'm not sure how close the two of them are, but I know it must be hard. Our prayer are with him and his family.
I run tomorrow.
Aloha
A more detailed entry will follow, but I had to write this down asap. Julie just called to tell me that Sophie was in the backyard standing by the kiddie rollercoaster we have there. And she was calling out like a carnival barker, "Step right up. One penny. We're raising money for anyone who has a child with Cystic Fibrosis. Step right up."
I think I'm going to cry.
I think I'm going to cry.
Thursday, May 27, 2004
Like I said, it's going to take some time to get back into the routine of writing. Let's consider this first week a warm up.
Yesterday was Julie's birthday and I spent the evening out to dinner with Beth who is in town for a convention. Hopefully Jules and I will get away for a little bit this weekend to have dinner together.
I ran hard yesterday, the first time I've really pushed myself in training this go around. Man did I feel it in my lower back this morning. Then again, it could be some other stress that I'm surprising. I'm no doctor.
I've been working on a 4/1 run walk ration, for any of you who are keeping track. I'm going to stick with that this year. I believe that switching my pattern of running effected my performance in the Honolulu race.
Sophie had her Kindergarten assessment this morning. She did great. I can't believe she's going to in kindergarten. Wasn't she just a little baby? Seems like eons ago. And Jake is growing up fast. The little nut can say his name, now (though he generally shouts it. "JACOOOB!!" His health has been good these past few months.
However, a throat culture earlier this year found psedomonas, a NASTY bacteria and he has been on a new medicine called Tobramycin (Tobi). He should run the course of his dosage while we're in Ohio in a couple of weeks. I pray that the Tobi has cleared his throat up. As it stands now, he is on 4 different breathing medicines that take 5 breathing treatments each day, in addition to his regular orals. He had a GI checkup on Monday and he gained 3 pounds! That's pretty exciting. For those of you who have children, 3 pounds may sound like nothing. For us, that's awesome.
Okay, I'm struggling to keep up here. I really feel like I'm just throwing things at the screen, hoping they'll stick. That's all for now. I'll do my best to keep on top of my entries. I promise.
Aloha.
Yesterday was Julie's birthday and I spent the evening out to dinner with Beth who is in town for a convention. Hopefully Jules and I will get away for a little bit this weekend to have dinner together.
I ran hard yesterday, the first time I've really pushed myself in training this go around. Man did I feel it in my lower back this morning. Then again, it could be some other stress that I'm surprising. I'm no doctor.
I've been working on a 4/1 run walk ration, for any of you who are keeping track. I'm going to stick with that this year. I believe that switching my pattern of running effected my performance in the Honolulu race.
Sophie had her Kindergarten assessment this morning. She did great. I can't believe she's going to in kindergarten. Wasn't she just a little baby? Seems like eons ago. And Jake is growing up fast. The little nut can say his name, now (though he generally shouts it. "JACOOOB!!" His health has been good these past few months.
However, a throat culture earlier this year found psedomonas, a NASTY bacteria and he has been on a new medicine called Tobramycin (Tobi). He should run the course of his dosage while we're in Ohio in a couple of weeks. I pray that the Tobi has cleared his throat up. As it stands now, he is on 4 different breathing medicines that take 5 breathing treatments each day, in addition to his regular orals. He had a GI checkup on Monday and he gained 3 pounds! That's pretty exciting. For those of you who have children, 3 pounds may sound like nothing. For us, that's awesome.
Okay, I'm struggling to keep up here. I really feel like I'm just throwing things at the screen, hoping they'll stick. That's all for now. I'll do my best to keep on top of my entries. I promise.
Aloha.
Monday, May 24, 2004
I am once again at the keyboard, updating on my marathon training. I am committing myself to run the Malibu Marathon this December, which will be co-sponsored by the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation.
It's the end of May and I have been training since May 3rd, two days after this year's Great Strides walk in Valencia. I had done some sporadic running throughout March and April, but I wasn't committed like I am now. Great Strides seemed like a starting point for the training and I am planning on tackling a half marathon in early August up in San Francisco. With this goal of San Fran in mind, I think I can better focus on the training and increasing my distances each week.
You can tell that this is my first new entry since the Honolulu marathon. I'm very tentative about what I'm writing. It feels very foreign to me (like it did the first few weeks last year). But, like I have fallen back into running with little difficulty, I'm sure making entries will become easier in a couple of days.
Aloha.
It's the end of May and I have been training since May 3rd, two days after this year's Great Strides walk in Valencia. I had done some sporadic running throughout March and April, but I wasn't committed like I am now. Great Strides seemed like a starting point for the training and I am planning on tackling a half marathon in early August up in San Francisco. With this goal of San Fran in mind, I think I can better focus on the training and increasing my distances each week.
You can tell that this is my first new entry since the Honolulu marathon. I'm very tentative about what I'm writing. It feels very foreign to me (like it did the first few weeks last year). But, like I have fallen back into running with little difficulty, I'm sure making entries will become easier in a couple of days.
Aloha.
Wednesday, January 21, 2004
So that’s it, my six-month journey has come to an end and I’m wrapping things up. I hope you all enjoyed this little journal. I hope it has given you a little insight into what it’s like for a regular type family to cope with Cystic Fibrosis. We’re not rich or famous. We’re just people. And we get by a day at a time.
What does 2004 hold for us Malchus’? Budd and Karyn had a baby girl on January 19th (Megan Elizabeth). That will surely cause some new excitement. Sophie just turned 5. 5!!! How did that happen? Jules and I celebrated our 10th (!) anniversary on Dec. 30th and will have been California citizens for 10 years any day now. We didn’t get each other fancy gifts; we couldn’t afford it (maybe for 15 years?). I believe I am going to have to find a new job soon. As much as I love it at Klasky Csupo, it just doesn’t pay enough to support the family. Then again, something miraculous might happen with “King’s Highway.”
Oh, and Rebecca has asked me to help with the committee for that CF Marathon in December. I have no choice but to run it now… and maybe I’ll start a new journal once we get things up and running (pun intended).
This entire experience has opened my eyes so much and shown me that it really is human nature for people to want to help out their fellow man. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to raise $11,700 again (especially if so many of my friends and family run the CF Marathon), but I will put forth my best effort. To all of you who contributed, thank you from the bottom of my heart. And to those of you who couldn’t at this time, I hope you will find it in your hearts to help fight Cystic Fibrosis in the very near future.
To everyone, I ask you to pray, or meditate, or rub your crystals or rabbit’s feet, or whatever you do to send out good vibes so that someday we’ll see an end to Cystic Fibrosis. I ask this not just for Jacob, but also for all of those people who are inflicted with the disease.
I’ll end with this:
I try to be a good man, a good father, and a good husband. I don’t always succeed. Despite my shortcomings, I am blessed to have two wonderful children who lift me up when I am down. Sophie is an old soul at age 5 and pure heart, and Jacob is the most loving, funny, pure little boy I have ever known. Both of these kids have been through so much in such a short time of their lives. They are strong and an inspiration to me. And then there is my darling wife, Julie. I don’t know a greater, more loving and forgiving woman than Jules. She is the rock and foundation of our family, and she in my true soul mate. Withou8t her I am nothing.
That’s all from me. I hope you all enjoyed the journal. Until we speak or meet again…
Thank you, God bless, and of course…
Aloha.
All the best,
Scott
What does 2004 hold for us Malchus’? Budd and Karyn had a baby girl on January 19th (Megan Elizabeth). That will surely cause some new excitement. Sophie just turned 5. 5!!! How did that happen? Jules and I celebrated our 10th (!) anniversary on Dec. 30th and will have been California citizens for 10 years any day now. We didn’t get each other fancy gifts; we couldn’t afford it (maybe for 15 years?). I believe I am going to have to find a new job soon. As much as I love it at Klasky Csupo, it just doesn’t pay enough to support the family. Then again, something miraculous might happen with “King’s Highway.”
Oh, and Rebecca has asked me to help with the committee for that CF Marathon in December. I have no choice but to run it now… and maybe I’ll start a new journal once we get things up and running (pun intended).
This entire experience has opened my eyes so much and shown me that it really is human nature for people to want to help out their fellow man. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to raise $11,700 again (especially if so many of my friends and family run the CF Marathon), but I will put forth my best effort. To all of you who contributed, thank you from the bottom of my heart. And to those of you who couldn’t at this time, I hope you will find it in your hearts to help fight Cystic Fibrosis in the very near future.
To everyone, I ask you to pray, or meditate, or rub your crystals or rabbit’s feet, or whatever you do to send out good vibes so that someday we’ll see an end to Cystic Fibrosis. I ask this not just for Jacob, but also for all of those people who are inflicted with the disease.
I’ll end with this:
I try to be a good man, a good father, and a good husband. I don’t always succeed. Despite my shortcomings, I am blessed to have two wonderful children who lift me up when I am down. Sophie is an old soul at age 5 and pure heart, and Jacob is the most loving, funny, pure little boy I have ever known. Both of these kids have been through so much in such a short time of their lives. They are strong and an inspiration to me. And then there is my darling wife, Julie. I don’t know a greater, more loving and forgiving woman than Jules. She is the rock and foundation of our family, and she in my true soul mate. Withou8t her I am nothing.
That’s all from me. I hope you all enjoyed the journal. Until we speak or meet again…
Thank you, God bless, and of course…
Aloha.
All the best,
Scott
The night after the marathon, our team (CF and City of Hope) gathered at the hotel bar to commiserate about the race. Limping in with aching limbs, I expected to hear about the great accomplishments of the day. To my surprise, everyone instead shared his or her horror stories about miles 20-24. It was as if every runner hit a wall… a universal feeling of pain and agony (well, not entirely universal, the winning runner finished the marathon in 2 hours and 11 minutes). I also learned that the Honolulu marathon is one of the most difficult races to run. Having heard all of this, I someone, insanely, decided I would run at least one more marathon. I mean, how hard could it be a second time?
Actually, Rebecca informed me that the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation is going to sponsor a marathon in Malibu, CA this coming December (2004). I thought I should show up and run the inaugural event. Plus, you know, I want to really find out if I can perform better by really taking control of those factors I have control of (i.e. diet, medicine) and whether the weather can work in my favor this time (because Malibu won’t be nearly as hot or humid as Hawaii).
Right here and now, I’m setting my goal at 5:35. That’s four minutes off of my Honolulu time. That’s a lot. I better get training!
The rest of our stay in Hawaii was spectacular. We had so much fun we didn’t want to leave. I think it had something to do with facing the reality of our lives. Paradise is just so alluring. It was such a different vacation than anything we’d ever been on. I love being around all of our relatives, but there’s something to be said about not having any obligations (or feelings of guilt for not calling so and so) and just enjoying being a family and being with each other. Still, we had to get back to Los Angeles; Santa Claus was due to arrive soon after we got back.
The holidays have come and gone and I hope to begin running soon. I decided to take the rest of December off just to get through that season rested. I’ve run once since the end of December. I’m anxious to get back into some sort of groove. Soon.
Actually, Rebecca informed me that the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation is going to sponsor a marathon in Malibu, CA this coming December (2004). I thought I should show up and run the inaugural event. Plus, you know, I want to really find out if I can perform better by really taking control of those factors I have control of (i.e. diet, medicine) and whether the weather can work in my favor this time (because Malibu won’t be nearly as hot or humid as Hawaii).
Right here and now, I’m setting my goal at 5:35. That’s four minutes off of my Honolulu time. That’s a lot. I better get training!
The rest of our stay in Hawaii was spectacular. We had so much fun we didn’t want to leave. I think it had something to do with facing the reality of our lives. Paradise is just so alluring. It was such a different vacation than anything we’d ever been on. I love being around all of our relatives, but there’s something to be said about not having any obligations (or feelings of guilt for not calling so and so) and just enjoying being a family and being with each other. Still, we had to get back to Los Angeles; Santa Claus was due to arrive soon after we got back.
The holidays have come and gone and I hope to begin running soon. I decided to take the rest of December off just to get through that season rested. I’ve run once since the end of December. I’m anxious to get back into some sort of groove. Soon.
Sunday, January 18, 2004
The Marathon
At 3:15 am in the morning the day of the race, I woke up and ate a bowl of cereal. Somehow I was able to sleep the night before. I put on my headphones and set the MP3 player to "The Rising", Springsteen had gotten me through the entire training period and I was ready for some inspiration. I wrote the following:
Got up 15 minutes ago. Rather, I finally got out of bed. Slept well for at least four hours, maybe more. The last hour was very restless. I think I woke up every 10 minutes. Jules left me an inspiring note that I'll carry with me. I can't believe I'm actually doing this. I'm excited and just a bit anxious. But I know I'll finish. Those last six miles are for Jake. This is why I'm here-- to rep CF and raise awareness. By now it's sounding a bit like an old line to a fine routine, but I feel that in my heart.
The journey here has been worth it. Now, let's hope I complete this Odyssey with some grace.
P.S. If I never drink another glass of water...
I met up with my team at 3:45 and we all walked over to the starting line. I can't begin to describe the vibe we all got as we joined this mass of human bodies. Over 20,000 people inching their way to the beginning of the line. Robert led us up to the middle of the pack. I had decided to run with Sebastian and Lilith. The 4/2 and eventual 5/2 was my goal, and I felt like I could keep up with them for the duration of the race.
Just before 5:00 am, the ceremonies began. Someone sang the National Anthem. I have no idea where this person was standing because I was so far back. Them fire works lit up the dark morning sky and the race officially began. It would be another 20 minutes before we crossed the starting line.
The race broke down into different sections for me...
Miles 1~8:Started off strong. We seemed to be making excellent time and had a very nice pace. There was no sunlight, which actually made for excellent running weather. It was already feeling muggy even that early in the morning. I remember passing a couple of drunk women making their way home from the bars and trying to make a call on a cell phone. As we ran through downtown Honolulu, the Christmas light displays were all lit up. It was a remarkable thing to see and I kept it in the back of my mind as something we could take the kids to see later in the week. As we crossed through downtown, we also passed by some open bars. People stood on the street corners cheering us on with beers in their hands.
In the distance, Diamond Head loomed. I was worried about what kind of hill this was going to be. Robert had assured us that our training in Pasadena prepared us fully. I prayed he was right.
Miles 8~10:We take on Diamond Head for the first time. I can't believe it, but it's not that bad. At one point, we see one of the wheelchair racers pace us on their way back to the finish line. As we reached the peak, the sun broke through the clouds, rising into the sky. I could only think of one thing. "Little darling, here comes the sun..." Budd was with me after all. He always says that song reminds him of Jake. Coming down the hill, I twisted my ankle. It wouldn't be a long run if I didn't twist my damn ankle. There wasn't much pain.
My running companions were great. They really kept me going. Lillith cracked me up because she was all business. "Let’s get this thing done", seemed to be her mantra.
Miles 11~13: My legs began to ache as the sun began bringing on the heat. I popped my Advil and hoped it would ease the pain. I saw Jen Mundy for about 10 minutes and we ran together. Poor Jen was in a lot of pain and didn't know whether she was going to make it (she did). After those 10 minutes she told me to take off. Falling back with her threw me off the pace of Sebastian and Lillith and they began running about a 200 yards ahead of me between walk breaks. God bless them for waiting for me several times until I told them to stop waiting for me and go by their own pace. We reached the half marathon marker in a little over 2 hours. I felt good about that because we seemed on pace for what we accomplished the day we ran the 20 miles. Still, my legs were really bugging me and I had eaten too much pasta the night before. My stomach was cramping up. On top of that, I did something you should never do and altered my running routine by drinking some of the sports drink being handed out. The sugars in the drink messed with my stomach too.
However, I have to say that I felt a little relief when my companions disappeared. I didn't feel as much pressure to run harder. I was going to tackle this thing on my own.
Miles 14~17: At my own pace, I realized one thing that would stick with me the rest of the marathon: I may have been running by myself, but I wasn't running alone. There were so many people that I sort of fell into a pack that had its own ebb and flow. Things started to get rough by mile 16. I had to take longer walk breaks (even ignoring my watching for a couple of minutes) and my stomach really began to bother me with the cramps. It wasn't anything like that day I was running up here in Valencia, but that fear was ever present. The last thing I wanted to do was get caught in someone's front yard and.... Thank god it never came to that. The sun was now BEATING down on us (at least, that's what it felt like to me) and my feet really began to swell up. I thought that pouring water on them might alleviate some of the pain. It only made my feet heavy. Boy, what a mistake.
Miles 18~20: Miserable. That's the only way to describe how I felt. I began running about a 2/2. I say about because I wasn't being scientific or anything. And really, come on now, can you really call what I was doing running? But I push on. Then, something wonderful happened that would carry me through the rest of the race.
Halfway through mile 20 I see Robert waiting for me over to the right. He had that supportive, enthusiastic smile he always seemed to be wearing. I couldn't help but laugh. He joined me in my "pace" and told me that he's seen Sebastian and Lillith up ahead. They told him I had fallen back. So, he called my cell phone thinking I might have it on me. Instead, He got Julie and had to explain that I was no longer running with my two friends. Then, he whipped out his phone and called her again.
I was miserable. My feet hurt. My stomach was bothering me. But hearing Julie's voice and the love and support that was coming through that tiny phone receiver... I tell you what; I knew I was going to finish this damn marathon, no matter what. I suddenly had a moral boost that would carry me to the end.
Miles 21~23: Running with Robert, we started with a 3/2, but the cramps were bad (and I started thinking about the movie "Raising Arizona" and the opening scene where a male inmate says "Sometimes I get the cramps real bad."--- My mind was warped by the sun). We switched to a 2/2. Robert was definitely stronger than I was. His pace was faster. But I kept up. He must have known I was in pain, but he distracted me with conversation about how long Julie and I have been married, when he's going to get to see "King's Highway", and about a script he's been working on. He's a great coach in that he reads the moment and tries to make it easier for you. At mile 23 he held back and decided to wait for some other runners. I was a little disappointed not to have a running partner (because it made a HUGE difference), but a bit relieved not to have to keep- his pace.
Miles 24~25: Man, I was really hurting. I could barely run. Fortunately, I had my name written on the side of my arm, and people were calling it out, cheering me on. I was marveled at the outpouring of support by all of the people who came out of their houses. Some families brought out their own water to hand out to runners. And then there were those folks who were handing out beer, as well. Ohhhh, the beer sounded so tempting.
I ran out of trail mix and I started to get hunger pains. A volunteer from the Leukemia society was handing out pretzels and I grabbed a handful. This part of the run was the return up Diamond Head. Remember how I said it was so easy the first time. PURE HELL. The gradual torture of the sun blaring on us and there being no shade, and it was a slow, gradual incline, which played, oh, such nice mind tricks on you. Thoughts of not finishing crossed my mind for the first time and I almost cried. I kept on humming "Come on up for the rising...."
At 25, I began the decent down Diamond Head. "You're almost done, "someone shouted", it's all down hill from here". I couldn't even enjoy this thought. I just wanted it to be over. And yet, making it though those last three miles was quite an achievement. Each and every time I stopped to walk, I'd be muttering, "Oh, I'm never going to make it." And then low and behold, there was the mile marker.
At this point I had been running over 5 hours.
25~the end: I stuck with the 2/2 and didn't care how pathetic I looked. As I approached the end, the crowd was getting larger and the buzz and cheering pulled me through. I decide that I had just enough dignity left that I wasn't going to stop and walk once I reached the crowd and that lat quarter mile or so.
Then, about 200 yards from the end, I found Julie, Sophie and Jacob standing on the sidelines. I ran over and kissed them. As far as I was concerned, I was done. But I ran off with my arms raised and a slight grin and crossed the finish line.
After receiving a shell lai necklace, I collapsed to the ground and waited. Somehow, Julie and the kids found me. It was over. And the first thing I thought was "I will NEVER do this again.”
At 3:15 am in the morning the day of the race, I woke up and ate a bowl of cereal. Somehow I was able to sleep the night before. I put on my headphones and set the MP3 player to "The Rising", Springsteen had gotten me through the entire training period and I was ready for some inspiration. I wrote the following:
Got up 15 minutes ago. Rather, I finally got out of bed. Slept well for at least four hours, maybe more. The last hour was very restless. I think I woke up every 10 minutes. Jules left me an inspiring note that I'll carry with me. I can't believe I'm actually doing this. I'm excited and just a bit anxious. But I know I'll finish. Those last six miles are for Jake. This is why I'm here-- to rep CF and raise awareness. By now it's sounding a bit like an old line to a fine routine, but I feel that in my heart.
The journey here has been worth it. Now, let's hope I complete this Odyssey with some grace.
P.S. If I never drink another glass of water...
I met up with my team at 3:45 and we all walked over to the starting line. I can't begin to describe the vibe we all got as we joined this mass of human bodies. Over 20,000 people inching their way to the beginning of the line. Robert led us up to the middle of the pack. I had decided to run with Sebastian and Lilith. The 4/2 and eventual 5/2 was my goal, and I felt like I could keep up with them for the duration of the race.
Just before 5:00 am, the ceremonies began. Someone sang the National Anthem. I have no idea where this person was standing because I was so far back. Them fire works lit up the dark morning sky and the race officially began. It would be another 20 minutes before we crossed the starting line.
The race broke down into different sections for me...
Miles 1~8:Started off strong. We seemed to be making excellent time and had a very nice pace. There was no sunlight, which actually made for excellent running weather. It was already feeling muggy even that early in the morning. I remember passing a couple of drunk women making their way home from the bars and trying to make a call on a cell phone. As we ran through downtown Honolulu, the Christmas light displays were all lit up. It was a remarkable thing to see and I kept it in the back of my mind as something we could take the kids to see later in the week. As we crossed through downtown, we also passed by some open bars. People stood on the street corners cheering us on with beers in their hands.
In the distance, Diamond Head loomed. I was worried about what kind of hill this was going to be. Robert had assured us that our training in Pasadena prepared us fully. I prayed he was right.
Miles 8~10:We take on Diamond Head for the first time. I can't believe it, but it's not that bad. At one point, we see one of the wheelchair racers pace us on their way back to the finish line. As we reached the peak, the sun broke through the clouds, rising into the sky. I could only think of one thing. "Little darling, here comes the sun..." Budd was with me after all. He always says that song reminds him of Jake. Coming down the hill, I twisted my ankle. It wouldn't be a long run if I didn't twist my damn ankle. There wasn't much pain.
My running companions were great. They really kept me going. Lillith cracked me up because she was all business. "Let’s get this thing done", seemed to be her mantra.
Miles 11~13: My legs began to ache as the sun began bringing on the heat. I popped my Advil and hoped it would ease the pain. I saw Jen Mundy for about 10 minutes and we ran together. Poor Jen was in a lot of pain and didn't know whether she was going to make it (she did). After those 10 minutes she told me to take off. Falling back with her threw me off the pace of Sebastian and Lillith and they began running about a 200 yards ahead of me between walk breaks. God bless them for waiting for me several times until I told them to stop waiting for me and go by their own pace. We reached the half marathon marker in a little over 2 hours. I felt good about that because we seemed on pace for what we accomplished the day we ran the 20 miles. Still, my legs were really bugging me and I had eaten too much pasta the night before. My stomach was cramping up. On top of that, I did something you should never do and altered my running routine by drinking some of the sports drink being handed out. The sugars in the drink messed with my stomach too.
However, I have to say that I felt a little relief when my companions disappeared. I didn't feel as much pressure to run harder. I was going to tackle this thing on my own.
Miles 14~17: At my own pace, I realized one thing that would stick with me the rest of the marathon: I may have been running by myself, but I wasn't running alone. There were so many people that I sort of fell into a pack that had its own ebb and flow. Things started to get rough by mile 16. I had to take longer walk breaks (even ignoring my watching for a couple of minutes) and my stomach really began to bother me with the cramps. It wasn't anything like that day I was running up here in Valencia, but that fear was ever present. The last thing I wanted to do was get caught in someone's front yard and.... Thank god it never came to that. The sun was now BEATING down on us (at least, that's what it felt like to me) and my feet really began to swell up. I thought that pouring water on them might alleviate some of the pain. It only made my feet heavy. Boy, what a mistake.
Miles 18~20: Miserable. That's the only way to describe how I felt. I began running about a 2/2. I say about because I wasn't being scientific or anything. And really, come on now, can you really call what I was doing running? But I push on. Then, something wonderful happened that would carry me through the rest of the race.
Halfway through mile 20 I see Robert waiting for me over to the right. He had that supportive, enthusiastic smile he always seemed to be wearing. I couldn't help but laugh. He joined me in my "pace" and told me that he's seen Sebastian and Lillith up ahead. They told him I had fallen back. So, he called my cell phone thinking I might have it on me. Instead, He got Julie and had to explain that I was no longer running with my two friends. Then, he whipped out his phone and called her again.
I was miserable. My feet hurt. My stomach was bothering me. But hearing Julie's voice and the love and support that was coming through that tiny phone receiver... I tell you what; I knew I was going to finish this damn marathon, no matter what. I suddenly had a moral boost that would carry me to the end.
Miles 21~23: Running with Robert, we started with a 3/2, but the cramps were bad (and I started thinking about the movie "Raising Arizona" and the opening scene where a male inmate says "Sometimes I get the cramps real bad."--- My mind was warped by the sun). We switched to a 2/2. Robert was definitely stronger than I was. His pace was faster. But I kept up. He must have known I was in pain, but he distracted me with conversation about how long Julie and I have been married, when he's going to get to see "King's Highway", and about a script he's been working on. He's a great coach in that he reads the moment and tries to make it easier for you. At mile 23 he held back and decided to wait for some other runners. I was a little disappointed not to have a running partner (because it made a HUGE difference), but a bit relieved not to have to keep- his pace.
Miles 24~25: Man, I was really hurting. I could barely run. Fortunately, I had my name written on the side of my arm, and people were calling it out, cheering me on. I was marveled at the outpouring of support by all of the people who came out of their houses. Some families brought out their own water to hand out to runners. And then there were those folks who were handing out beer, as well. Ohhhh, the beer sounded so tempting.
I ran out of trail mix and I started to get hunger pains. A volunteer from the Leukemia society was handing out pretzels and I grabbed a handful. This part of the run was the return up Diamond Head. Remember how I said it was so easy the first time. PURE HELL. The gradual torture of the sun blaring on us and there being no shade, and it was a slow, gradual incline, which played, oh, such nice mind tricks on you. Thoughts of not finishing crossed my mind for the first time and I almost cried. I kept on humming "Come on up for the rising...."
At 25, I began the decent down Diamond Head. "You're almost done, "someone shouted", it's all down hill from here". I couldn't even enjoy this thought. I just wanted it to be over. And yet, making it though those last three miles was quite an achievement. Each and every time I stopped to walk, I'd be muttering, "Oh, I'm never going to make it." And then low and behold, there was the mile marker.
At this point I had been running over 5 hours.
25~the end: I stuck with the 2/2 and didn't care how pathetic I looked. As I approached the end, the crowd was getting larger and the buzz and cheering pulled me through. I decide that I had just enough dignity left that I wasn't going to stop and walk once I reached the crowd and that lat quarter mile or so.
Then, about 200 yards from the end, I found Julie, Sophie and Jacob standing on the sidelines. I ran over and kissed them. As far as I was concerned, I was done. But I ran off with my arms raised and a slight grin and crossed the finish line.
After receiving a shell lai necklace, I collapsed to the ground and waited. Somehow, Julie and the kids found me. It was over. And the first thing I thought was "I will NEVER do this again.”
Sunday, January 11, 2004
We've just returned from Cleveland where we were attending the funeral of Julie's grandmother, Vera Flynn. I had originally planned to return Wednesday, the day of the funeral, but changed my mind that day when I felt like I should stay and spend more time with the family. I'm glad I stayed.
Although the purpose of our trip wasn't the happiest reason to fly into bitter cold Cleveland weather, seeing everyone gathered together and getting a chance to be together made it worth it.
I will conclude everything this week.
Aloha.
Although the purpose of our trip wasn't the happiest reason to fly into bitter cold Cleveland weather, seeing everyone gathered together and getting a chance to be together made it worth it.
I will conclude everything this week.
Aloha.
Saturday, January 03, 2004
The Hawaii Trip--- Pt. 1
There are things you learn when going on a long trip, like, not having enough pairs of boxers to get you through a week. Who knew? Fortunately, we would be spending most of our time in bathing swimsuits, so it wasn't a big problem. And when we discovered that our condo in Waikiki had a washer and dryer, the problem became moot.
F-R-I-E-D.
That's how I felt Friday, December 12 after arriving in Hawaii. We got out of bed at 3:45 am, not that I ever went to sleep. After missing a flight a couple of years ago and having to wait for the next available flight (ugh, what an experience
that was... and I swore we'd never take another morning flight) I never sleep well the night before a flight across the country, or in this case the ocean.
We got to Oahu fine. It was not too hot, but the humidity was quite noticeable. It reminded me of Ohio in the early months of summer: sweaty but not unbearable. All of us were pretty whipped. The kids were troopers, though. They should have cracked by midday, but both Sophie and Jacob maintained a cool excitement being in a glorious tropical paradise.
And even though Honolulu is a pretty busy city (a lot like Los Angeles), it was still wonderful to be able to look out our balcony and see/hear the waves of the bluest ocean you've ever seen.
Sophie, God bless her soul, had enough energy to keep us all running. I could feel myself on a short fuse. Nerves and exhaustion. Thank God Jules was so levelheaded. Being in Hawaii for just one day had such a great effect on us. Julie was glowing. The one thing I was really looking forward to that Friday night was it being Monday morning and beginning the vacation. I really wanted to spend time with the family... with just being "us" for a change and not worrying about reality for a week.
After a refreshing, long good night's sleep that night, we all woke up excited on Saturday about our second full day in Hawaii. I took a quick, 30 minute run through the parks by our hotel and boy was I happy I did that. My legs were plenty tight after the plane ride and I hate going into a long run with more than one day between exercising.
From there, we went to the beach for a while. It wasn't too crowded, even with all of the tourists in town for the marathon. Turns out the Honolulu Marathon is one of the big attractions each year. And with 22,000 entrants, you can see why. Still, the shoreline by our hotel was pretty small, so it seemed like there were more people than there actually were. Nevertheless, the time was a nice introduction to the sand and warm waters of Oahu.
The weather flip-flopped the entire day, from overcast to sunny. It had rained Friday night (would it rain on us Sunday as well?) and man was it WINDY! I'll tell you what; the water can be pretty frigid with that wind. After lunch we took in the pool at the hotel next door. I think we were sneaking in (don't tell anyone) but it's not like they had the pool police keeping a look out. I mean, we really looked like we belonged in that ice-cold freezing water shivering. On top of that, there was an expo taking place outside the pool for all of the marathoners. I would later get a marathon souvenir shirt.
We had dinner with the Mundy family. Jennifer is Julie's friend who ran for AIDS Project LA. Here husband Scott and her have 2 children. We all went out for dinner and ate plates of spaghetti. My second plate that day. I figured I could use all of the carbs I could get. Before dinner I met up with Rebecca, Beth, Robert and the three other Team CF Runners who had trained with Robert. It was nice to meet these other runners, one of which was from the Sacramento office of the CF Foundation. His name is Pete Tucker. Rebecca and Pete both thanked everyone for running to raise funds for CF. I’m not sure what the others' stories were. Part of me wanted to say "thank you" as well, but I held back.
We made arrangements to meet up on Sunday morning... marathon day, at 3:45 am and walk over to the starting line. I decided to run with Sebastian and Lillith from the City of Hope team while Beth would be running with Lucy, another member of our training group.
The best part of the day was when Sophie and Jake came out of the bedroom modeling t-shirts Julie had made. Each shirt had an individual picture of me with each of them printed on them. Sophie's shirt read "Daddy's Cheerleader" on the front and "Team CF on the back." Jake's read "My Daddy. My Hero" and "Team CF" on the back.
I nearly cried.
Somehow I got to sleep that night by 8:30. I was excited, anxious, and ready to test myself physically like I had never done before. This was it. Six months was going to come down to one morning...
More tomorrow.
Aloha
There are things you learn when going on a long trip, like, not having enough pairs of boxers to get you through a week. Who knew? Fortunately, we would be spending most of our time in bathing swimsuits, so it wasn't a big problem. And when we discovered that our condo in Waikiki had a washer and dryer, the problem became moot.
F-R-I-E-D.
That's how I felt Friday, December 12 after arriving in Hawaii. We got out of bed at 3:45 am, not that I ever went to sleep. After missing a flight a couple of years ago and having to wait for the next available flight (ugh, what an experience
that was... and I swore we'd never take another morning flight) I never sleep well the night before a flight across the country, or in this case the ocean.
We got to Oahu fine. It was not too hot, but the humidity was quite noticeable. It reminded me of Ohio in the early months of summer: sweaty but not unbearable. All of us were pretty whipped. The kids were troopers, though. They should have cracked by midday, but both Sophie and Jacob maintained a cool excitement being in a glorious tropical paradise.
And even though Honolulu is a pretty busy city (a lot like Los Angeles), it was still wonderful to be able to look out our balcony and see/hear the waves of the bluest ocean you've ever seen.
Sophie, God bless her soul, had enough energy to keep us all running. I could feel myself on a short fuse. Nerves and exhaustion. Thank God Jules was so levelheaded. Being in Hawaii for just one day had such a great effect on us. Julie was glowing. The one thing I was really looking forward to that Friday night was it being Monday morning and beginning the vacation. I really wanted to spend time with the family... with just being "us" for a change and not worrying about reality for a week.
After a refreshing, long good night's sleep that night, we all woke up excited on Saturday about our second full day in Hawaii. I took a quick, 30 minute run through the parks by our hotel and boy was I happy I did that. My legs were plenty tight after the plane ride and I hate going into a long run with more than one day between exercising.
From there, we went to the beach for a while. It wasn't too crowded, even with all of the tourists in town for the marathon. Turns out the Honolulu Marathon is one of the big attractions each year. And with 22,000 entrants, you can see why. Still, the shoreline by our hotel was pretty small, so it seemed like there were more people than there actually were. Nevertheless, the time was a nice introduction to the sand and warm waters of Oahu.
The weather flip-flopped the entire day, from overcast to sunny. It had rained Friday night (would it rain on us Sunday as well?) and man was it WINDY! I'll tell you what; the water can be pretty frigid with that wind. After lunch we took in the pool at the hotel next door. I think we were sneaking in (don't tell anyone) but it's not like they had the pool police keeping a look out. I mean, we really looked like we belonged in that ice-cold freezing water shivering. On top of that, there was an expo taking place outside the pool for all of the marathoners. I would later get a marathon souvenir shirt.
We had dinner with the Mundy family. Jennifer is Julie's friend who ran for AIDS Project LA. Here husband Scott and her have 2 children. We all went out for dinner and ate plates of spaghetti. My second plate that day. I figured I could use all of the carbs I could get. Before dinner I met up with Rebecca, Beth, Robert and the three other Team CF Runners who had trained with Robert. It was nice to meet these other runners, one of which was from the Sacramento office of the CF Foundation. His name is Pete Tucker. Rebecca and Pete both thanked everyone for running to raise funds for CF. I’m not sure what the others' stories were. Part of me wanted to say "thank you" as well, but I held back.
We made arrangements to meet up on Sunday morning... marathon day, at 3:45 am and walk over to the starting line. I decided to run with Sebastian and Lillith from the City of Hope team while Beth would be running with Lucy, another member of our training group.
The best part of the day was when Sophie and Jake came out of the bedroom modeling t-shirts Julie had made. Each shirt had an individual picture of me with each of them printed on them. Sophie's shirt read "Daddy's Cheerleader" on the front and "Team CF on the back." Jake's read "My Daddy. My Hero" and "Team CF" on the back.
I nearly cried.
Somehow I got to sleep that night by 8:30. I was excited, anxious, and ready to test myself physically like I had never done before. This was it. Six months was going to come down to one morning...
More tomorrow.
Aloha
Here it is, January 2nd and I'm finally returning from hibernation. While we continue to clean the house for the second time in as many days in preparation for Sophie's birthday party on Sunday (can she really be turning five? How did that happen?), I want to begin my final entries for this journal, starting with some details about our trip to Hawaii. And since me will more than likely be flying to Cleveland in the next couple of days for a funeral, I'm not sure when I will get back on the computer.
Most of my reflections on the trip to the marathon come from notes I took while we were there...
Most of my reflections on the trip to the marathon come from notes I took while we were there...
Wednesday, December 31, 2003
Hello again.
It's been quite awhile since I have had a chance to make an update. As soon as we returned from Hawaii, our computer decided to take its own vacation and this is the first day we've had it back from the repair shop.
I plan to make a complete "report" of our trip and the marathon itself. I hope to do that in the next couple of days (hopefully before Sophie's birthday party on Sunday). Until then, I hope that everyone has a nice New Year celebration and that the holdiays have been good to you.
Aloha.
It's been quite awhile since I have had a chance to make an update. As soon as we returned from Hawaii, our computer decided to take its own vacation and this is the first day we've had it back from the repair shop.
I plan to make a complete "report" of our trip and the marathon itself. I hope to do that in the next couple of days (hopefully before Sophie's birthday party on Sunday). Until then, I hope that everyone has a nice New Year celebration and that the holdiays have been good to you.
Aloha.
Thursday, December 11, 2003
This morning was my final run before the marathon. I didn't know how far I was going to go until I got out there. There were too many things on my mind that I decided not to do a full 6 miles. Besides, it was frickin' cold out there. Frost covered the cars and the grass was brittle. I felt kind of tight, and a little strange. All of the training is now at an end. The final exam is on Sunday.
I've received a lot of nice notes from people... emails, cards and a hilarious phone call from Marsick. It was overwhelming, in a sense. Overwhelming in a good sense. I almost lost my cool tonight when I got home from work and put on some Springsteen for the kids. Some of those songs that carried me through the training, especially the emotional ones from "The Rising", it really got to me for the first time since the concert with Budd back in August. (I know, I know... Spingsteen again? Give it a rest Malchus).
The bags are all packed and Jules and I have that nervous energy we get before traveling. I'm very excited about the trip, but very neurotic about the marathon on Sunday. (What? Scott neurotic? No. Never.)
At this point I'm not even surer who is reading this journal. I've become a little self-conscious about it and I don't think I'm giving it my best writing. Then again, I've been a little scatter brained all week. When I reflect on what everything means, this marathon and the fundraising, I feel pretty proud of myself. I'm most proud of how much money was raised.
$11,713.35.
That's a butt load of money boys and girls.
Still, I keep feeling like it's not enough. If I could breakthrough and start making movies on a regular basis, using whatever clout I might attain to help fight CF, that would maybe be enough. Someday, perhaps. Let's hope.
For any of you still reading this mindless blathering, I plan to keep a journal for the week we're in Hawaii. I figure to close down this blog right after the holidays, when we celebrate Sophie's birthday. That way, we'll cover almost all of the important holidays in our lives. Perhaps I'll do an update when Julie's birthday rolls around in May. That would be a nice epilogue.
That's all for now. We rise up at 4:00 in the morning and venture down to LAX. It's going to be a long morning, but the payoff is we get into Hawaii and it will only be lunchtime. How cool is that.
Until I return, God bless us, every one of us! And all of you folks tat helped raise the money. God bless you, too.
Aloha
I've received a lot of nice notes from people... emails, cards and a hilarious phone call from Marsick. It was overwhelming, in a sense. Overwhelming in a good sense. I almost lost my cool tonight when I got home from work and put on some Springsteen for the kids. Some of those songs that carried me through the training, especially the emotional ones from "The Rising", it really got to me for the first time since the concert with Budd back in August. (I know, I know... Spingsteen again? Give it a rest Malchus).
The bags are all packed and Jules and I have that nervous energy we get before traveling. I'm very excited about the trip, but very neurotic about the marathon on Sunday. (What? Scott neurotic? No. Never.)
At this point I'm not even surer who is reading this journal. I've become a little self-conscious about it and I don't think I'm giving it my best writing. Then again, I've been a little scatter brained all week. When I reflect on what everything means, this marathon and the fundraising, I feel pretty proud of myself. I'm most proud of how much money was raised.
$11,713.35.
That's a butt load of money boys and girls.
Still, I keep feeling like it's not enough. If I could breakthrough and start making movies on a regular basis, using whatever clout I might attain to help fight CF, that would maybe be enough. Someday, perhaps. Let's hope.
For any of you still reading this mindless blathering, I plan to keep a journal for the week we're in Hawaii. I figure to close down this blog right after the holidays, when we celebrate Sophie's birthday. That way, we'll cover almost all of the important holidays in our lives. Perhaps I'll do an update when Julie's birthday rolls around in May. That would be a nice epilogue.
That's all for now. We rise up at 4:00 in the morning and venture down to LAX. It's going to be a long morning, but the payoff is we get into Hawaii and it will only be lunchtime. How cool is that.
Until I return, God bless us, every one of us! And all of you folks tat helped raise the money. God bless you, too.
Aloha
Wednesday, December 10, 2003
Today is December 10. It was 2 years ago today that we learned that Jake had CF. I didn't think about it much today, but I could tell it was on our minds. It was just there, hanging like a cloud. Jules is in bed already. She's tense about the trip. She always gets that way before we travel. But I know that the significance of today is bothering her as well.
I hope that someday it won't affect us as much as it does now. Last year it was hard to get as excited about Christmas as we'd hoped. The year before...well, we were overwhelmed.
I've received a bunch of nice letters, calls and emails giving me extra confidence for Sunday. I think the marathon falling so close to today will give me that extra kick at the end as well.
I haven't thought much about the race. In fact, I forgot I have to get up and run tomorrow. When I think about the marathon I feel a touch anxious. But I know I'll finish. I'm not just running for myself.
Aloha
I hope that someday it won't affect us as much as it does now. Last year it was hard to get as excited about Christmas as we'd hoped. The year before...well, we were overwhelmed.
I've received a bunch of nice letters, calls and emails giving me extra confidence for Sunday. I think the marathon falling so close to today will give me that extra kick at the end as well.
I haven't thought much about the race. In fact, I forgot I have to get up and run tomorrow. When I think about the marathon I feel a touch anxious. But I know I'll finish. I'm not just running for myself.
Aloha
Tuesday, December 09, 2003
It's been a looooong day. Got out of bed at 4:30, but I didn't sleep well. I was too worried that I might oversleep the alarm. Had to get up and drive Vill to the airport this morning and get him there by 6:15. Can't complain, though. He's done so much for me in the past two years, this is the least I can do.
After dropping him off, I came to work and ran on the treadmill for about 30 minutes. A simple 5K on the treadmill is nothing, anymore. I can't believe that just six months ago I could barely run 2 miles. Now, 3.1 is a piece of cake. I guess all of that training really has paid off.
Not much else happening today. Work was work. The DVD master should be complete by tomorrow. That's pretty damn exciting, if I do say so myself. Hopefully we'll have something to send out by the turn of the year. Will I EVER stop thinking about this movie? I'm so eager to begin something new. Alas, I have to continue to be patient.
Once we return from Hawaii I plan to begin work on a new script. I need to complete my rewrite of "American Standard" so I can put that one to rest for a while. Ryan said I should have 5 to 7 scripts ready by February. Egads. I don't think I can do it. That's A LOT of writing. Perhaps my creative mind will be a little less crowded once the marathon is over and we've had our vacation. I can only hope.
That's all for today. Must get some rest.
Aloha.
After dropping him off, I came to work and ran on the treadmill for about 30 minutes. A simple 5K on the treadmill is nothing, anymore. I can't believe that just six months ago I could barely run 2 miles. Now, 3.1 is a piece of cake. I guess all of that training really has paid off.
Not much else happening today. Work was work. The DVD master should be complete by tomorrow. That's pretty damn exciting, if I do say so myself. Hopefully we'll have something to send out by the turn of the year. Will I EVER stop thinking about this movie? I'm so eager to begin something new. Alas, I have to continue to be patient.
Once we return from Hawaii I plan to begin work on a new script. I need to complete my rewrite of "American Standard" so I can put that one to rest for a while. Ryan said I should have 5 to 7 scripts ready by February. Egads. I don't think I can do it. That's A LOT of writing. Perhaps my creative mind will be a little less crowded once the marathon is over and we've had our vacation. I can only hope.
That's all for today. Must get some rest.
Aloha.
Monday, December 08, 2003
Another Monday, another visit to Dr. Good. I like this guy. Besides getting my back all set for the marathon, he's a pretty cool guy to converse with (except when he makes me listen to Michael Bolton during the roller machines. I mean.... Come On!).
I have to get up early and take Vill to the airport early tomorrow morning. He's off to the Bahamas for a movie shoot. He's going to be gone for at least two weeks. They're not sure if he's going back after the holidays. I can't imagine going that long without seeing Julie and the kids. Besides just being out of the country, I don't think I would like being away that long. A week is tolerable. But after that it would get VERY depressing.
I guess that's the price you pay working in the entertainment industry. For now, I have this semi-secure desk job that keeps me close to home. I'm not sure how we'll handle me being away should that opportunity ever arise. There is a big part of me that really wants to be shooting more movies, like, NOW. But the hours would be horrific.
Changing the subject, I have to say that one of the greatest things about this whole experience has been how I've been able to hear from friends and family across the country. In particular, I'm speaking about my cousin Kenny. Kenny is a few years older than me and we never really had much to talk about. He's actually older than all of the kids on my side of the family. Kenny is the relative who had a son pass away from CF when I was a kid. I must admit, I don't remember much about his son, Brandon, except that he was sick a lot. Back then I didn't know what CF was and it wasn't really explained to any of us. Needless to say, no one told us that the disease did not have a cure.
Brandon was born years before the gene was discovered, so he didn't have the same medicines that Jacob has. His life was much tougher than Jake's. And when Brandon passed away, I was too young to really comprehend what had happened. It's strange to say that now. It's strange to admit that I didn't have a clue how fragile life was. I guess it was easier because we only saw those Malchus' once a year. That's a lame excuse, I know.
But through everything that happened, those two words, Cystic Fibrosis, stuck in my memory.
When Jacob was in the UCLA ICU the weekend he was born, he didn't appear to be the sickest child in the ward. There were kids with open head wounds and heart conditions lying right next to him. He looked like he was fine and he had begun to drink milk. It wasn't until the final hour we were there that the surgeon who was going to operate on him mentioned that a CF test was supposed to have been done. And that's when the bell went off in my head. "Cystic Fibrosis? Did he say Cystic Fibrosis?"
Of all of the people who have been the most supportive to my family over the past two years, I feel that the most encouraging words I receive are from my cousin Kenny. I have often said in this journal that I can't imagine what it would be like to lose a child. Well, Kenny has. He lost his son to Cystic Fibrosis. He has witnessed the horrors of this disease first person. And I will say this; he was one of the first people who called us the day we learned of Jacob's diagnosis.
You have to understand, before that day two years ago, I could not tell you the last time I had had any communication with Kenny. But here he was calling us, telling us to keep our chins up and telling us that he was optimistic that they would find a cure. Those words meant more to me than anyone else's during that time. And now that I've been keeping this log and training for this marathon, Kenny has continually checked in on what I'm writing and he has continually sent me emails full of encouragement and support.
I have to say that for this limited time, the way all of my family and friends have come together has been the most enlightening aspect of the whole ordeal. And to be able to communicate frequently with my cousins whom I rarely see, that is just fantastic. It's like, you always know there are good people out there. I don't think I would want these folks a part of my life if I didn't know that deep down they were big hearted. But these past six months have proven what I always believed, ten fold. These past six months have really opened my eyes and heart to the greatness in this world and the possibilities to overcome and cure Cystic Fibrosis.
Three more days until we leave.
Aloha.
I have to get up early and take Vill to the airport early tomorrow morning. He's off to the Bahamas for a movie shoot. He's going to be gone for at least two weeks. They're not sure if he's going back after the holidays. I can't imagine going that long without seeing Julie and the kids. Besides just being out of the country, I don't think I would like being away that long. A week is tolerable. But after that it would get VERY depressing.
I guess that's the price you pay working in the entertainment industry. For now, I have this semi-secure desk job that keeps me close to home. I'm not sure how we'll handle me being away should that opportunity ever arise. There is a big part of me that really wants to be shooting more movies, like, NOW. But the hours would be horrific.
Changing the subject, I have to say that one of the greatest things about this whole experience has been how I've been able to hear from friends and family across the country. In particular, I'm speaking about my cousin Kenny. Kenny is a few years older than me and we never really had much to talk about. He's actually older than all of the kids on my side of the family. Kenny is the relative who had a son pass away from CF when I was a kid. I must admit, I don't remember much about his son, Brandon, except that he was sick a lot. Back then I didn't know what CF was and it wasn't really explained to any of us. Needless to say, no one told us that the disease did not have a cure.
Brandon was born years before the gene was discovered, so he didn't have the same medicines that Jacob has. His life was much tougher than Jake's. And when Brandon passed away, I was too young to really comprehend what had happened. It's strange to say that now. It's strange to admit that I didn't have a clue how fragile life was. I guess it was easier because we only saw those Malchus' once a year. That's a lame excuse, I know.
But through everything that happened, those two words, Cystic Fibrosis, stuck in my memory.
When Jacob was in the UCLA ICU the weekend he was born, he didn't appear to be the sickest child in the ward. There were kids with open head wounds and heart conditions lying right next to him. He looked like he was fine and he had begun to drink milk. It wasn't until the final hour we were there that the surgeon who was going to operate on him mentioned that a CF test was supposed to have been done. And that's when the bell went off in my head. "Cystic Fibrosis? Did he say Cystic Fibrosis?"
Of all of the people who have been the most supportive to my family over the past two years, I feel that the most encouraging words I receive are from my cousin Kenny. I have often said in this journal that I can't imagine what it would be like to lose a child. Well, Kenny has. He lost his son to Cystic Fibrosis. He has witnessed the horrors of this disease first person. And I will say this; he was one of the first people who called us the day we learned of Jacob's diagnosis.
You have to understand, before that day two years ago, I could not tell you the last time I had had any communication with Kenny. But here he was calling us, telling us to keep our chins up and telling us that he was optimistic that they would find a cure. Those words meant more to me than anyone else's during that time. And now that I've been keeping this log and training for this marathon, Kenny has continually checked in on what I'm writing and he has continually sent me emails full of encouragement and support.
I have to say that for this limited time, the way all of my family and friends have come together has been the most enlightening aspect of the whole ordeal. And to be able to communicate frequently with my cousins whom I rarely see, that is just fantastic. It's like, you always know there are good people out there. I don't think I would want these folks a part of my life if I didn't know that deep down they were big hearted. But these past six months have proven what I always believed, ten fold. These past six months have really opened my eyes and heart to the greatness in this world and the possibilities to overcome and cure Cystic Fibrosis.
Three more days until we leave.
Aloha.
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