I am not sure what I am going to do come January 15th. Whatever it is going on inside my knee is pretty much inhibiting me from being able to run. I woke up this morning, motivated to go out and run for four miles. But I didn't get 50 yards before I knew that it wasn't going to happen. Not today; maybe never again. This is the biggest let down I've had. To not be able to go through with it... it's not an option. I have to run this thing. I made a commitment that other people for which other people are sponsoring me. To not run it would make me feel like a fraud.
And yet, there is also a sense of relief. For weeks I have questioned whether I would be able to run. And now it seems the decision has been made for me.
My only other option is to cross train the next month and hope that I retain whatever muscle memory I have to gut it out in January. Oh, I know I'll be able to run the 13 miles. It's not an issue of endurance. It's just the pain, man. That phrase, no pain, no gain? It's a crock. That's what they preached to me in 8th and 9th grade when I was still playing football. And that's the mentality that helped me shred the ligament in my knee in the first place.
So, tomorrow I will take my bike in to have it repaired and starting Monday, I'll ride my bike in the morning. It's the only thing I can think to do.
You know, I could easily just not run this thing. But I would feel like a fraud. And I've put in the time, you know?
In other events, Mom and Dad are coming into town in Sunday. The kids are stoked. I'm not sure when we will see them next, so I feel like this will be a pleasant visit before my holiday break. I am really looking forward to the time off from work. This year has had so much going on. And I feel like this will be the perfect winding down of the year to reflect on all of the events of the past year and to just appreciate this wonderful family we have.